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Post by spearmint on Aug 19, 2004 11:45:13 GMT -5
When you want to talk to someone you don't do it because you are scared or nervous?
Well imagine you're that person with the red bit of cloth with the bull...When you first do it you are completely terrified and don't know where to go or what to do, and you don't do it for long periods of time, but after a couple of times of doing it you get used to it you are still scared but you know where to go what to do exactly, and you can keep doing it all day...
Now when you talk to someone for the first time you're terrified because you're shy and you won't want to talk for long periods of time...it might just be a "hi" now after you have done this a lot of times you get used to it but you're still scared...but you will know what you are doing more...Know what to say and what gestures to make
You will know that it's a good thing to be scared even if you have talked to thousands of people it just shows you are a more caring person and people will love you for it and love you even more for at least making an effort!
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Post by canisay182 on Aug 19, 2004 13:01:32 GMT -5
im TOO afraid  |
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Post by spearmint on Aug 19, 2004 13:35:50 GMT -5
[glow=red,2,300]ask yourself why you are afraid?[/glow]
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Post by glenn miller on Sept 11, 2004 14:56:49 GMT -5
it is real hard. i have tried for a long time.
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Post by TwistedDreamz on Sept 19, 2004 19:37:43 GMT -5
I attempted a couple of times to do that. I barely went past making small talk with the person.
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Post by glenn miller on Oct 4, 2004 3:03:40 GMT -5
that is all i can do to. make small talk
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Post by 47 on Nov 14, 2004 11:28:44 GMT -5
I cant even make small talk sometimes, I can never think of what to say and im always worried theyll think im boring. Theres always that alkward silence. I met this guy on the internet and we exchanged numbers, but im too frickin scared to answer the fone. help me! i feel sick  ahh do any of you feel like this sometimes? |
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Post by lonelyone on Nov 14, 2004 17:31:41 GMT -5
I cant even make small talk sometimes, I can never think of what to say and im always worried theyll think im boring. Theres always that alkward silence. I met this guy on the internet and we exchanged numbers, but im too frickin scared to answer the fone. help me! i feel sick ahh do any of you feel like this sometimes? definitely. i recently had an opportunity to talk to a guy i've been wanting to talk to for a long time and i had a panic attack as he was approaching me. all i could manage was a slight smile before i ran away. sigh... now i'm trying to work up the nerve to get closer again. |
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Post by old free guy on Nov 14, 2004 17:44:45 GMT -5
Practice a few times in your mind and try it in real world.
Techniques for Initiating Conversations
* Say hello, good morning, or similar greeting.
* Give a compliment.
* Ask for information.
* Comment about the situation you are both in. (e.g. the current topic in your class, waiting in line, the price of books, the difficulty in finding a place to park)
* Comment on something in the immediate environment (e.g. the fall foilage, a poster, painting, or sculpture, the music at a party)
* Request or offer assistance in doing something.
* Disclose something about yourself.
* Request disclosure (avoiding very personal or "why" questions).
* Tell a joke.
Techniques for Sustaining Conversations
* Ask open-ended questions. (e.g. "How do you like ______ Univ.?" instead of, "Do you like _______?")
* Comment about current news, movies, books, concerts, tv shows, etc.
* Discuss classes, majors, professors.
* Give your opinion or tell a story; don't just state facts, let them see a little of you behind the story
* Describe yourself in a situation giving details like what you were thinking, feeling, or imagining at the time.
* Ask about or tell more information about family, pets, hobbies, interests, jobs, travels, hometowns, (religion), clubs/organizations you are in.
* Convey interest in the other person, using the person's name in the first few minutes of the converstion, make eye contact, nod your head.
* Don't respond with just "yes" or "no" all the time, elaborate. (e.g. "No, I haven't seen that movie but I read a review and.....")
* Throw back the question he/she asked you. (e.g. "I haven't seen that movie. How did you like it?")
* Ask for clarification when you are not following what the other person is saying. (e.g. "I'm not sure I understand. Do you mean......")
* Reflect back what the other person is saying. (e.g. "It sounds like what you're saying is.....")
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Post by 47 on Nov 15, 2004 13:51:20 GMT -5
but i find it really hard to elaborate on stuff, especially when im nervous. my mind just goes blank, its not fair  |
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Post by glenn miller on Nov 15, 2004 18:35:28 GMT -5
i am same as u 47. my mind goes blank a bit. hard for me to do a bit of what he said.
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Post by human on Dec 30, 2004 15:51:44 GMT -5
It is tough isn't it ?  I have been shy my whole life, and I don't know what to do about it! It hurts me most when am at work, most of the time am so quiet so others think that I don't want to chat with them; and when I gather my guts and go chat with someone I can't look them in the eye, and so they don't feel confortable talking to me. I even feel that I create a bad atmosphere inside the office !  Which makes me realy sad Don't know what to do! I'm very successful in my work, but very unsuccessful with my colleagues! Am realy a nice guy and my family and my dear friends loves me so much, but at work I feal isolated ! |
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Which makes me realy sad