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Post by guinevere on Aug 28, 2005 7:46:16 GMT -5
Hm, I guess the the thread says enough? hehe
I finally decided to go MY way, to do the things I want to do, and for wchich I chose. I finally feel free to do and think whatever I want to!! I'm in my final year of (pre)college (dutch system, different than US orso), and I decided to do my best, in my way. I finally decided to buy a cd-rom with Italian language-course I finally decided to bla bla bla.. So many things, which I would not have done before, coz I didn't feel free to do so.
How many things do you actually want to do, or be, but you're afraid to, coz of what other ppl might think, or might stop you?
-Hann.
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Post by chemistry on Aug 29, 2005 9:47:16 GMT -5
I used to be afraid because of what people might think but I'm overcoming that. Chem
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Post by lily on Aug 29, 2005 17:04:02 GMT -5
You're right - we shouldn't give a damn what other people think. If we want to do something, we should do it!
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Post by Sigh on Aug 30, 2005 10:07:04 GMT -5
Yay!! Shy revolution!!! Go go go!!! lol
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Post by wagnerr on Aug 30, 2005 13:38:16 GMT -5
I tend to overthink a lot. And i always care too much about what other people think of me, and it keeps me from doing anything.
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Post by sj on Nov 16, 2005 16:57:07 GMT -5
As they say: "The only person stopping you from doing something is yourself."
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Post by iroseiroared3 on Nov 18, 2005 23:12:36 GMT -5
I say go you and keeping moving forward!!! and freedom definitely brings happiness!!! I am also afraid to start doing things my way because I'm afraid I'll regret them, plus everyone would be against them. But I actually have a story on freedom and happiness that I'd like to tell (hope I didn't tell it before).
This was some years ago.. I was going out with somenoe who was telling me I should go to college. I said I don't know, so he took me to this college nearby and got application forms and stuff. When I talked to my dad later about it, I said I don't know if I want to go to college, and my dad said, "Dont' ever let anyone force you to do something! Do what you want to do!" So thinking about what my boyfriend had done, I started to get really pissed off, thinking Who the hell is he to try to control my life. Now I know it might sound ridiculous to get pissed off about something like that, esp. if he were only trying to help me, but the point here is that I was so pissed off that I decided, 'Ya know what? Fuck this. I'm living my life MY way, from now on.' And let me tell you, I experienced true happiness that day -at work, of all places!- this shitty job, because I was FREE! I was free within the confines of the job, sure, but I would do what I wanted to do.. and no this did not get me into trouble. But I was finally in control of my own life. If I wanted to go clean something, I'd go clean it. If I felt like doing something else, I would. Of course, all within reasonable limits. Shyness disappeared, too! I was able to come into work and honestly say hi to everyone, and not feel weird. I laughed because I was able to really listen to people's jokes and found the humor in them. I felt almost 0% self-consciousness.. someone could have come up to me and told me I was ugly and stupid and it would have barely affected me. I was finally FREE and life was BEAUTIFUL. You know how you feel when you're on vacation or on Christmas morning.. how you have no worries or cares in the world, and everything is just PEREFECT? This is how life felt, everyday life! All you have to do is ask yourself, "What do I want right now?" If you just do little things for yourself, in like an hour's time you'll start to feel happy and free, at least I did! It's just about taking control of your life I guess.. like the original poster said. Why am I not happy anymore? That feeling eventually wore away because I was afraid to hold onto it, because it felt too good to be true, and I thought I would die from being so blissful! But it can be real for you. I know I sound like an infomercial but this really happened to me and if you just ask yourself what you want, and give it to yourself, just little things like.. "I want to go to the bathroom now," or, "I want to clean up the kitchen table," etc.. and just keep doing little things that YOU want to do, eventually you realize you're in control of your own life. I'm sorry to hog up this thread but I was going to post about this anyway.. just wanted to say how I found true happiness and wanted to pass that along and now you can all try it too, lol. (I'm not crazy, I swear!)
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Post by rosepoet on Nov 22, 2005 2:17:02 GMT -5
well said iroseiroared3, I really liked hearing your perspective and story (and no you're not crazy, lol) I think with me, it's not just the fear of people actually stopping me from reaching my goals, but also their perceptions of my capabilities and physical demeanor...I'm not the person I appear to be on the surface: in my day-to-day life, I'm a person who seems a bit withdrawn and a bit of a workaholic of sorts, but inside I really feel like I want to meet people and enjoy the company of others. I want to open myself up to new opportunities and venues, and pursue a life-long dream that I've had ever since I was a little girl. I feel like I cannot disclose myself as much as I should in terms of my goals, ambitions, thoughts, and feelings. It's not simple for me to let go like many tell me, I'm doing my best to try, but it's hard to put your foot in the door if you don't know what lies beyond it, you know?
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Post by shytothebone on Nov 22, 2005 3:22:12 GMT -5
well said iroseiroared3, I really liked hearing your perspective and story (and no you're not crazy, lol) I think with me, it's not just the fear of people actually stopping me from reaching my goals, but also their perceptions of my capabilities and physical demeanor...I'm not the person I appear to be on the surface: in my day-to-day life, I'm a person who seems a bit withdrawn and a bit of a workaholic of sorts, but inside I really feel like I want to meet people and enjoy the company of others. I want to open myself up to new opportunities and venues, and pursue a life-long dream that I've had ever since I was a little girl. I feel like I cannot disclose myself as much as I should in terms of my goals, ambitions, thoughts, and feelings. It's not simple for me to let go like many tell me, I'm doing my best to try, but it's hard to put your foot in the door if you don't know what lies beyond it, you know? That is the reason why most people don't move on in life because they cant see through that door. Risk is involved and mostly everything we hear these days is negative and people get that screwed up perception about things because of it (risk= failure). The thing is mostly everyone knows that but they still don't want to go though that door and most put locks on it just to be safe. I have a dream to just now I have no motivation to do anything about it.
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Post by shytothebone on Nov 22, 2005 3:26:27 GMT -5
(I'm not crazy, I swear!) Yeah wtfe lol. Like one of my old friends said everyone is crazy. I told him no im not and he said yes you are you crazy little fucker lol.
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Post by feyish on Dec 16, 2005 23:31:13 GMT -5
well, i hate to burst the warm fuzzy bubble here but, in reality, it does matter what other people think. please, please, please stop the idealologies. for a little while, i believed in them, but i have found them to be untrue.
remember the old sticks and stones saying? well, who here has never EVER been hurt by something someone said? the truth is, words can hurt.
it does matter what other people think, that is why you eat with a fork/spoon/chopsticks etc., that is why you have secrets, that is why you act civilized.
on the other hand, it is possible to worry too much about what other people think, but it's not totally irrelevant.
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Post by iroseiroared3 on Dec 19, 2005 7:29:22 GMT -5
well, i hate to burst the warm fuzzy bubble here but, in reality, it does matter what other people think. please, please, please stop the idealologies. for a little while, i believed in them, but i have found them to be untrue. remember the old sticks and stones saying? well, who here has never EVER been hurt by something someone said? the truth is, words can hurt. it does matter what other people think, that is why you eat with a fork/spoon/chopsticks etc., that is why you have secrets, that is why you act civilized. on the other hand, it is possible to worry too much about what other people think, but it's not totally irrelevant. Yeah you're right, even if it's not with the insults, like you said, we just do things by what is considered "normal", like eating the way we do, wearing the clothes we do, etc.,etc. I do think that worrying about other people so much though is something we have to work to get over.. maybe not completely, like we can still do things that are expected of us (like eating with a fork) but we can challenge things that we might not want to be doing.. hell we can even challenge eating with a fork and things like that. Maybe you can't completely ignore what everyone has to say (maybe that would be a bad thing actually) but I don't think it's just idealistic either, to think we don't have to care so much. We can break through if we work at it, I think anyway.
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B
New Member
Posts: 32
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Post by B on Dec 27, 2005 17:32:48 GMT -5
I don't think it's being idealistic. There are certain things we do so we won't be outcasts in our own culture, but that's not the same as doing something we want to even though it's unpopular. Insults from SOME people hurt, but not from everyone. If someone insults you and you don't really take that person seriously anyway it's probably not going to hurt your feelings. And some people could be insulted by pretty much everybody and they wouldn't care. We see that in a lot of really ambitious people.
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Post by pnoopiepnats on Dec 27, 2005 17:52:15 GMT -5
yes there is a balance to conforming enough to society standards and doing your own thing.
We are all going to obey the general rules for the most part and nothing wrong with that. We wear clothes, we follow driving rules, we don't just walk into stranger's houses...things like that. If we didn't we would be insane. lol
don't let people stop you from choosing your career, where you want to live, and things like that.
I have gotten tons of flack about seemingly normal things I wanted to do; well maybe a little out there but still not bad things.
For example, nobody thought I should go to college. I was supposed to finish high school and quickly find a husband to take care of me. If I wanted to work for a little pin money I could be a hairdresser, nurse, or secretary. lol Bet that sounds really messed up to y'all but it was true!
I went anyway against great resistance and now I am puter goddess! lol
My mother always gave me grief about my desire to travel too.
Feck all the negative crap.
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Post by traveler on Dec 28, 2005 10:23:04 GMT -5
i used to worry what people thought. now i am getting better.
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