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Post by blink1 on Jan 16, 2006 12:00:42 GMT -5
Have you ever just planned to get up the next morning and go to school or wherever you had to go and just be all talkative and outgoing (sort of lose your shyness over night type of thing)? I always do this (or at least try) but the second I walk into school I get too nervous and quickly go back to my old 'shy' ways.
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Post by tennischick on Jan 16, 2006 12:26:07 GMT -5
all the time. especially when I go to work on Saturdays to see when one of my co-workers whom I happen to have a huge crush on. :/ it always fails miserably. I don't exactly get nervous...but I just never carry out the plan for some reason. I don't think shyness is exactly you can get over just like that.
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Post by sj on Jan 16, 2006 14:26:35 GMT -5
I sometimes tell myself to 'snap out of it' .. the most it ever lasts is a few hours. Its the same when I try being more assertive and sure of myself - something will come along and knock me back down again. Anyway, I guess the trick is to keep trying! Bollocks to everyone else! ;D
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Post by gSteve on Jan 16, 2006 15:36:55 GMT -5
I have thought about doing that but it never seems to happen and im like i am normally, though sometimes i've planned on talking to somebody about something and have done it.
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Post by feyish on Jan 16, 2006 17:24:26 GMT -5
I would do this, but i don't know where to start. I have been too silent for too long.
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Post by sushiboat on Jan 16, 2006 17:46:13 GMT -5
I don't think that just psyching yourself up is going to work for most people. I think you have to break the problem into smaller chunks and then take one chunk at a time. Find a common social situation, think about concrete things you can do to improve your performance, try them, and then step back and see what works and what doesn't.
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Post by pnoopiepnats on Jan 16, 2006 18:23:09 GMT -5
It doesn't quite work like that. I remember at this one job where I was a member of a team and I always felt left out of the loop, I made it a point to find out what was going on when I got there in the morning.
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Post by zerocharisma! on Jan 16, 2006 19:17:38 GMT -5
I don't think that just psyching yourself up is going to work for most people. I think you have to break the problem into smaller chunks and then take one chunk at a time. I agree with Sushiboat: it's best to make many small, gradual changes. That's what works for me anyway.
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Post by Paulinus on Jan 16, 2006 19:33:10 GMT -5
I agree with Sushiboat: it's best to make many small, gradual changes. That's what works for me anyway. Yeah I agree, its worked with other things I've had to get over. No idea where to even start when it comes to getting comfortable talking to people though
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Post by zaab on Jan 16, 2006 22:22:32 GMT -5
I agree with Sushiboat: it's best to make many small, gradual changes. That's what works for me anyway. Yeah I agree, its worked with other things I've had to get over. No idea where to even start when it comes to getting comfortable talking to people though It almost always begins with hi or some variation of hi.
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Post by iroseiroared3 on Jan 20, 2006 7:41:54 GMT -5
Have you ever just planned to get up the next morning and go to school or wherever you had to go and just be all talkative and outgoing (sort of lose your shyness over night type of thing)? I always do this (or at least try) but the second I walk into school I get too nervous and quickly go back to my old 'shy' ways. No, I've never felt that way, because it seems like once you're quiet for so long you lock yourself into that way of being.. and scarier than talking is having people realize how much you've changed and commenting on it. At least that's my opinion. However at work, I feel better about being more outgoing if I ever feel like it, because they know I talk and have a personality to an extent, anyway.
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Post by Paulinus on Jan 20, 2006 7:53:16 GMT -5
and scarier than talking is having people realize how much you've changed and commenting on it. Yeah I think that too. Once you've been silent for so long it gets harder and harder to say something because of the fear of a shock reaction that you've actually said something.
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Post by shypsychologyguy on Jan 20, 2006 12:09:27 GMT -5
If I did that people would think I had been drinking or on drugs. That or bipolar.
people already thought I was on drugs because I was quiet , slightly weird and what not.
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jf87
New Member
Posts: 15
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Post by jf87 on Jan 22, 2006 4:37:58 GMT -5
Yes, all the time. And its frustrating as hell, because I just end up going back to my ususal self without even doing anything different. I tell myself I'm going to be in the conversation and then I'm there and don't say a word. Makes me want to just stop trying
I'm also like this. Ever since my first day of kindergarden I've been known as shy. As much as I want to change, for some odd reason I'm afraid of people noticing a difference if I start to change. Its really weird because they would probably like the change away from the guy who doesnt say anything
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Aisa
New Member
Posts: 2
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Post by Aisa on Jan 24, 2006 4:55:43 GMT -5
This happens to often for myself, I'll start off very talkative and when I try to start a conversation with someone. It will usually start off perfectly but slowly drift down to hell, as neither I or the other person will have much to say after we both say "hi" to one another. It's pretty irritating. -_-)
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