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Post by Samantha on Feb 23, 2006 8:51:49 GMT -5
And anyway, part of being a wuss is caving in when you're being called a wuss. Yeah that's the part alot of people don't get. It's like teenagers who all dress the same to be different. |
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Post by sushiboat on Feb 23, 2006 9:30:30 GMT -5
zaab, you may not be a wuss, but that doesn't mean no one is. So the question is, how do you tell guys who think that being a wuss is a good thing to wise up? If you say, "You're too nice," they won't get it. They will say, "But 'nice' is a good thing. How can you be too nice?"
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Post by Samantha on Feb 23, 2006 10:17:24 GMT -5
zaab, you may not be a wuss, but that doesn't mean no one is. So the question is, how do you tell guys who think that being a wuss is a good thing to wise up? If you say, "You're too nice," they won't get it. They will say, "But 'nice' is a good thing. How can you be too nice?" The problem for me is that wuss is not just a descriptive term, it doesn't just say you are being unnattractive, it says to me you are an inherently inferior person. Which is boo lux Of course we differ on the whole definition of nice but to me, as someone who unapologetically loves nice I still believe you can be 'too' nice. You can also be too funny, too smart, too good looking even, too selfish blah blah blah. When you are nice, you are taking into consideration other people, which is a very good thing. However if you just revolve around other people you are not displaying who you are. It is not that it is being false, merely you are not getting your personality across for someone to potentially fall for. People are more than just smiles and thankyous. To me, to find out about a person, I need to know what makes them tick. I want to know what makes them laugh, what makes them cry. What things they love, what things they hate, what things they are indifferent to. I need to know about someone before I can tell if I like them right? To me it's not about being a 'man', it's about getting yourself across the best you can. Of course this is because I'm after someone that will like the real me and not some facade. Still to do this, you need more than to just be nice. As I said before I believe you can be nice and funny. You can be nice and interesting. You can be nice and stand up for yourself. If you are just nice, well that's the problem.. you're JUST nice. There is nothing ELSE to connect with, you are one dimensional. When you have a conversation and people just nod their head in agreement it's not much of a conversation. That to me is what I think alot of people see as niceness. Kind of just nodding with a pleasant smile. It's one way traffic. You can't have a conversation if it's all one way. Nor can you have a proper relationship that's all one way. What I think people really mean when they say someone is 'too nice' is they are 'nothing but nice'. It's like that is the only thing they CAN say about them. It is their most defining characteristic because it is the only one the person has seen. I dunno if any of this makes sense. My brain is working even less then usual today. |
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Post by MrNice on Feb 23, 2006 10:18:47 GMT -5
you can't explain anything to somebody who is not ready
its hard to let go of hardened beliefs and world views
when a guy gets really fed up with being alone and becoming a friend he starts looking for new options
sometimes its easier to just give up and learn to live with it
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Post by MrNice on Feb 23, 2006 10:26:34 GMT -5
When you are afraid to do what you want to do (for example kiss the girl on a date) you can always write it off as being considerate of the girl (afraid to mess things up). But in this case that is not a very good thing.
its like going 5 miles an hour on a highway because you are afraid to break the speed limit
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Post by zaab on Feb 23, 2006 11:52:51 GMT -5
zaab, you may not be a wuss, but that doesn't mean no one is. So the question is, how do you tell guys who think that being a wuss is a good thing to wise up? If you say, "You're too nice," they won't get it. They will say, "But 'nice' is a good thing. How can you be too nice?" Nice is a loaded term as well. Its used as a catchall term for a person who lacks all self confidence and simply bends to other people's whims because they think this will make people like them. I would try to give people as specific advice as possible and suggest ways to improve their self confidence and self esteem, because that is really the heart of the matter. |
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Post by xtrovrtnprogres on May 16, 2006 2:16:52 GMT -5
in case you don't want to spend anything, you can easily download the ebook and some of the videos off limewire, he also has a ebook on shyness as well, so i guess he was a shy person as well
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