Post by ahh on Aug 5, 2006 0:53:49 GMT -5
I haven't had a local friend for 7 years. I'm 21, female, still live with my parents due to health, and am usually mistaken as an 11 to 16-year-old (the most common ages guessed are about 13-15). I partially don't have friends because of a lack of a place to meet them. However, there have been neighbors I wanted to befriend, but due to shyness I was unable to. I obviously really want a friend around my age, but most people my age wouldn't think of introducing themselves to me because they think I'm a kid.
I've watched neighbors I really liked come and go without even saying a word to them or only saying a few words. Now there's another neighbor I think is in his 20s and I really want to meet him, but am having a humongous problem. I'm terrified! It doesn't matter if a person is male or female or old or young, if I'm not used to them I get so nervous to a point of trying not to shake (often times I fail) and I get stiff like a person with a gun to their head or something (I can't move to introduce myself). I'm terribly embarrassed of having such a problem and I laugh which is part of the shyness. I sure as h**l don't find it funny that I can't even make a friend.
This guy almost always looks for me when he goes by, waves to me, and smiles, but hasn't introduced himself, nor do I believe he will at this point. My younger friend who lives in another state said maybe he's too busy, but on Fridays he's definitely not too busy to introduce himself, if he so desired. This leads me to believe he's not introducing himself due to thinking I'm too young, I wouldn't share common interests with him, he is shy, or he just doesn't know when the right moment would be to introduce himself. At any rate, I'm aware this is probably going to be another neighbor I like who I'm going to watch come and go again without saying a word. He lives with two other guys and a lady, all of which are older (probably 50s and one actually might be his dad). They all seem like such nice people waving to me and smiling. They are such good neighbors (not noisy or anything) so I'm going to be really sad to see them go, especially if I have never even met them. I figured if I could meet the guy in his 20s first, then maybe we would get to be friends and I would meet the others. I hardly know anything about him except he plays guitar, skateboards, looks good, seems to really have a thing for the '70s, and I think like Spanish music. I love instruments and like some Spanish music (depends on what kind; love reggaeton). I obviously have fears about what kind of a person he is (a nut, a drug addict, a jerk, etc., but I know he could be a great person too). I thought maybe if I picked clover close to the fence line closest to his place I would get lucky and he would come outside and I would have the balls to say something, but honestly I have my doubts of if I could even lift my head because when I know somebody else is around I can't even really lift my head (I have been picking the clover though and I think it's probably a blessing he hasn't come out since I probably couldn't raise my head unless he said something to me). I'm too nervous and shy.
Later, I thought I will introduce myself if I see him hanging outside playing guitar or something, but the humongous problem with that is he hasn't done that sense towards the beginning when he lived there. Instead, he plays inside which really sucks because I can't hear him play then, nor can I introduce myself that way. Now about the only other way I know to meet him would be to introduce myself around about 2 PM when he comes home. Around 1:30 or 2 PM he leaves for a short time and then comes back until 4 or 5 PM when he goes to work. Usually he smiles and waves at these times, but the extent of his outdoor time during these times is going from the car to the house and vice versa. The only way I know to meet him is to get the balls to walk across the yard (hope like hell I make it across quick enough but not too quick to make it to the other side about the time he is hopefully heading to the front door and not the back otherwise I'm going to have to pretend I walked that way for something else lol [the only other thing that way would be the clover on the ground that I pick for the rabbits]). I figured if I actually did get "ahold" of him I would holler "Hey saab car guy" and when he looks [just thinking of this I get nervous and laugh feeling a bit sick to my stomach] say I wanted to introduce myself since I'm always waving to him and then give my name... I assume then he would give his own name and hopefully by this point would have walked towards me so that I would feel a helluva lot more comfortable asking other questions like where he is from, how old he is, why he moved, etc. (otherwise the extent of the introduction might be exchanging names and me going away humiliated at his lack of allowing for conversation) because shouting these questions across the road would be pretty awkward. I could actually stand right outside of the fence which is right next to the road or right inside the fence which of course is right next to the road. It's going to be harder to make it into the fence, but I think I would be more comfortable than being out in the open where I may potentially have to walk over and into his yard (that thought is far too terrifying).
The humongous problem is how the h**l do I even get the courage to approach him and when do I approach him? Do I approach right after he gets home (I'm concerned of this being rude and am concerned of bothering him) or do I keep hoping some year he's actually going to hang out outside (I don't honestly think he's going to at this point, especially with cooler temperatures we are getting into, and fear I would watch him move before I watched him hang outside)? He's only here temporarily for work I think and then he's going back to a different part which is actually an area where my family has been working on moving to and hopefully will make it their next year.
I know I have courage in me somewhere because I once stood up for a shy person, but I was standing up against someone I knew and I also once had the balls to say hello to somebody (it took so much work and time to get to that point though and I said hello when he walked by). I'm ashamed to be so shy and it really sucks being this way because I want friends, but I don't know what to do. Eventually, I do get comfortable with people after talking to them and hanging out with them a lot or alternatively, if it's a new person I don't know of I can hold my head high as long as they are at a distance and I have no interest in knowing them (as soon as I find a reason that I want to know them or sometimes if they come close to me, I get really shy and can no longer walk with my head up or anything)... Advice of self-help please besides relax because, trust me, if I could I would so I could have a better life instead of being alone all the time.
I've watched neighbors I really liked come and go without even saying a word to them or only saying a few words. Now there's another neighbor I think is in his 20s and I really want to meet him, but am having a humongous problem. I'm terrified! It doesn't matter if a person is male or female or old or young, if I'm not used to them I get so nervous to a point of trying not to shake (often times I fail) and I get stiff like a person with a gun to their head or something (I can't move to introduce myself). I'm terribly embarrassed of having such a problem and I laugh which is part of the shyness. I sure as h**l don't find it funny that I can't even make a friend.
This guy almost always looks for me when he goes by, waves to me, and smiles, but hasn't introduced himself, nor do I believe he will at this point. My younger friend who lives in another state said maybe he's too busy, but on Fridays he's definitely not too busy to introduce himself, if he so desired. This leads me to believe he's not introducing himself due to thinking I'm too young, I wouldn't share common interests with him, he is shy, or he just doesn't know when the right moment would be to introduce himself. At any rate, I'm aware this is probably going to be another neighbor I like who I'm going to watch come and go again without saying a word. He lives with two other guys and a lady, all of which are older (probably 50s and one actually might be his dad). They all seem like such nice people waving to me and smiling. They are such good neighbors (not noisy or anything) so I'm going to be really sad to see them go, especially if I have never even met them. I figured if I could meet the guy in his 20s first, then maybe we would get to be friends and I would meet the others. I hardly know anything about him except he plays guitar, skateboards, looks good, seems to really have a thing for the '70s, and I think like Spanish music. I love instruments and like some Spanish music (depends on what kind; love reggaeton). I obviously have fears about what kind of a person he is (a nut, a drug addict, a jerk, etc., but I know he could be a great person too). I thought maybe if I picked clover close to the fence line closest to his place I would get lucky and he would come outside and I would have the balls to say something, but honestly I have my doubts of if I could even lift my head because when I know somebody else is around I can't even really lift my head (I have been picking the clover though and I think it's probably a blessing he hasn't come out since I probably couldn't raise my head unless he said something to me). I'm too nervous and shy.
Later, I thought I will introduce myself if I see him hanging outside playing guitar or something, but the humongous problem with that is he hasn't done that sense towards the beginning when he lived there. Instead, he plays inside which really sucks because I can't hear him play then, nor can I introduce myself that way. Now about the only other way I know to meet him would be to introduce myself around about 2 PM when he comes home. Around 1:30 or 2 PM he leaves for a short time and then comes back until 4 or 5 PM when he goes to work. Usually he smiles and waves at these times, but the extent of his outdoor time during these times is going from the car to the house and vice versa. The only way I know to meet him is to get the balls to walk across the yard (hope like hell I make it across quick enough but not too quick to make it to the other side about the time he is hopefully heading to the front door and not the back otherwise I'm going to have to pretend I walked that way for something else lol [the only other thing that way would be the clover on the ground that I pick for the rabbits]). I figured if I actually did get "ahold" of him I would holler "Hey saab car guy" and when he looks [just thinking of this I get nervous and laugh feeling a bit sick to my stomach] say I wanted to introduce myself since I'm always waving to him and then give my name... I assume then he would give his own name and hopefully by this point would have walked towards me so that I would feel a helluva lot more comfortable asking other questions like where he is from, how old he is, why he moved, etc. (otherwise the extent of the introduction might be exchanging names and me going away humiliated at his lack of allowing for conversation) because shouting these questions across the road would be pretty awkward. I could actually stand right outside of the fence which is right next to the road or right inside the fence which of course is right next to the road. It's going to be harder to make it into the fence, but I think I would be more comfortable than being out in the open where I may potentially have to walk over and into his yard (that thought is far too terrifying).
The humongous problem is how the h**l do I even get the courage to approach him and when do I approach him? Do I approach right after he gets home (I'm concerned of this being rude and am concerned of bothering him) or do I keep hoping some year he's actually going to hang out outside (I don't honestly think he's going to at this point, especially with cooler temperatures we are getting into, and fear I would watch him move before I watched him hang outside)? He's only here temporarily for work I think and then he's going back to a different part which is actually an area where my family has been working on moving to and hopefully will make it their next year.
I know I have courage in me somewhere because I once stood up for a shy person, but I was standing up against someone I knew and I also once had the balls to say hello to somebody (it took so much work and time to get to that point though and I said hello when he walked by). I'm ashamed to be so shy and it really sucks being this way because I want friends, but I don't know what to do. Eventually, I do get comfortable with people after talking to them and hanging out with them a lot or alternatively, if it's a new person I don't know of I can hold my head high as long as they are at a distance and I have no interest in knowing them (as soon as I find a reason that I want to know them or sometimes if they come close to me, I get really shy and can no longer walk with my head up or anything)... Advice of self-help please besides relax because, trust me, if I could I would so I could have a better life instead of being alone all the time.
