Post by evolutionbeanfeast on Sept 9, 2006 11:27:11 GMT -5
As a longtime lurker I thought it was about time that I revealed myself. I live in Australia, I'm of the male gender, and am closing in on 30 years of age. I've always been an introspective soul, but I would say that this began to manifest itself as real shyness when I hit my teen years. School was no doubt a major factor in this, it was a traumatic experience for me as I'm sure it was for many others on this board. My nature made me an easy target for bullies, and until toward the end of my schooling I found it impossible to relate to most of my classmates on any level.
I like to think that I have achieved success in most facets of my life...the big exceptions being in the social sphere. In structured environments, where I am acting in a predefined role, I don't think I have any particular difficulty in interacting with people. However, in less formal settings, where there are no hard and fast rules, I am rather more clueless. I can, with considerable effort, just about hold a conversation with an individual, but not with a group. This is especially apparent when particularly loud people are dominating the discussion - it is a bitter struggle for me to squeeze so much as a word in.
I type these words on a decidedly typical Saturday night - typical in that I'm on my own and have nowhere to go. This despite the fact that I make a point of never turning down invitations to go out on the rare occasions that I receive them - even if it means being thoroughly uncomfortable and out-of-place in some diabolical nightclub. I can count only a handful of people as friends, most of whom I see very rarely. I do ensure that I maintain the lines of communication with them, but for reasons I don't understand, I rarely hear from them, even after I've made an initial contact. It probably goes without saying that I remain very much single.
It was interesting to read the suggestions of some on this forum that volunteer activities may provide a way of meeting new people and overcoming inhibitions. I've been down this path myself, having made a regular commitment to a major charitable organisation for some years. Although I would say that my activities have had a net positive effect on my self-esteem, I also experienced some significant setbacks. To cut a very long story short, despite my loyalty and hard work, at various times I sensed that my efforts were going unappreciated. I often also felt that I was being deliberately marginalised or ignored completely, and that when certain people did communicate with me, it was frequently in a distinctly condescending manner, with the result that I was made to feel like a complete imbecile. I'm certain that I deserved better than this.
Anyway, thank you for enduring this rather lengthy introductory post. I look forward to proffering advice where I can, and of course receiving some myself. I'm also keen to get to know some of you, providing you with an insight into my true self that so few people in RL have.
I like to think that I have achieved success in most facets of my life...the big exceptions being in the social sphere. In structured environments, where I am acting in a predefined role, I don't think I have any particular difficulty in interacting with people. However, in less formal settings, where there are no hard and fast rules, I am rather more clueless. I can, with considerable effort, just about hold a conversation with an individual, but not with a group. This is especially apparent when particularly loud people are dominating the discussion - it is a bitter struggle for me to squeeze so much as a word in.
I type these words on a decidedly typical Saturday night - typical in that I'm on my own and have nowhere to go. This despite the fact that I make a point of never turning down invitations to go out on the rare occasions that I receive them - even if it means being thoroughly uncomfortable and out-of-place in some diabolical nightclub. I can count only a handful of people as friends, most of whom I see very rarely. I do ensure that I maintain the lines of communication with them, but for reasons I don't understand, I rarely hear from them, even after I've made an initial contact. It probably goes without saying that I remain very much single.
It was interesting to read the suggestions of some on this forum that volunteer activities may provide a way of meeting new people and overcoming inhibitions. I've been down this path myself, having made a regular commitment to a major charitable organisation for some years. Although I would say that my activities have had a net positive effect on my self-esteem, I also experienced some significant setbacks. To cut a very long story short, despite my loyalty and hard work, at various times I sensed that my efforts were going unappreciated. I often also felt that I was being deliberately marginalised or ignored completely, and that when certain people did communicate with me, it was frequently in a distinctly condescending manner, with the result that I was made to feel like a complete imbecile. I'm certain that I deserved better than this.
Anyway, thank you for enduring this rather lengthy introductory post. I look forward to proffering advice where I can, and of course receiving some myself. I'm also keen to get to know some of you, providing you with an insight into my true self that so few people in RL have.