Post by waazup on Aug 26, 2009 0:17:33 GMT -5
I used to have a decent group of friends, or more so "acquaintances" in middle school, though my own shyness prevented me from growing any deep friendships with any of them.
Gradually our group gained a few friends here and there, and my three other original friends began growing a tighter relationship among themselves and their new friends, leaving me left out for the most part. They became more outgoing and more comfortable among themselves, while I was still standing on the outside looking in, still overcome by my shyness.
By my sophomore year in high school I couldn't take it anymore standing on the outside of their small talk circles. I mean at times, I was literally just standing there for 40 minutes, while the people I called my friends would talk amongst themselves. I tried talking to them, but I could tell that all they saw was a shy and boring kid. So I told myself this is bull and instead, I spent the rest of my brunches and lunches alone in the library feeling sorry for myself.
Now I'm a junior, and I realize that I dont think I can endure spending another two years alone in the library all day. I really want to go out there and talk to people like a normal person. I'm really just desperate and at the point where I don't really care about anymore humiliation.
But the problem is, I basically have no repuation and everybody pretty much views me as a loner and a social outcast. How in the world am I supposed to throw myself into society and make friends? Most people know that I spent an entire year hiding in the library during brunch and lunch. Who wants to be friends with a person like that? I feel like even if I try to act confident, its impossible to do when everyone you talk to views you as a loner and outcast. Is there anyway I can shed this "loner"/"social outcast" label?
Gradually our group gained a few friends here and there, and my three other original friends began growing a tighter relationship among themselves and their new friends, leaving me left out for the most part. They became more outgoing and more comfortable among themselves, while I was still standing on the outside looking in, still overcome by my shyness.
By my sophomore year in high school I couldn't take it anymore standing on the outside of their small talk circles. I mean at times, I was literally just standing there for 40 minutes, while the people I called my friends would talk amongst themselves. I tried talking to them, but I could tell that all they saw was a shy and boring kid. So I told myself this is bull and instead, I spent the rest of my brunches and lunches alone in the library feeling sorry for myself.
Now I'm a junior, and I realize that I dont think I can endure spending another two years alone in the library all day. I really want to go out there and talk to people like a normal person. I'm really just desperate and at the point where I don't really care about anymore humiliation.
But the problem is, I basically have no repuation and everybody pretty much views me as a loner and a social outcast. How in the world am I supposed to throw myself into society and make friends? Most people know that I spent an entire year hiding in the library during brunch and lunch. Who wants to be friends with a person like that? I feel like even if I try to act confident, its impossible to do when everyone you talk to views you as a loner and outcast. Is there anyway I can shed this "loner"/"social outcast" label?
