I'd really like opinions, Please Read.

[alex91086]

Okay, my name is Alex and I'm a 22 year old guy but I have a shyness problem and would really just like honest opinons about what you think. Please be honest and sorry if this is longish.

I was never born shy, I was sort of outgoing and everyone thought I was a nice looking kid; not to seem conceited but somebody told me once I was to pretty to be a boy which in a way bothered me. To describe myself, I have an white/olive coloring and lots of black hair since I was little and I have hazel eyes that sometimes either look green or brown depending on the light.

When I was younger I was bullied by other guys in school throughout my school life actually and because of it I always have trouble viewing myself as good as others just because I used to be bullied and I sort of started believing things the bullies said. The guy that started never liked me from the start and would always pick on me by callign me ugly and a girl. Then other guys soon followed and even after he moved they still continued it.

Sometimes I like the way I look but then there's times I feel ugly just because I remember what the bullies always said. It feels like no matter how nice I am to others that people just hate me and maybe even think I'm ugly for being bullied. But I'm glad it happened because I now that I will never be like them and it made me feel more compassionate with others as well caring about other's opinions; which is why I'm here.

So does anyone think that being bullied makes you a ugly/bad person? I'm I really a nice guy or are the bullies right?

Please, again, be honest and if you think like them then it's okay...I'm used to it.

[shynesssucks]

It sounds to me like you need to talk to a professional about your thoughts and feelings.

I see that you are 22 years old and I am guessing this bullying happened years ago and if it's still bothering you until this day you probably need to seek help.

We don't know what you look like so none of us can tell really answer the question you are asking but really it doesn't matter, you've got some issues to work through...

[strawberrysweetie]

First of all, hello and welcome to the forum. There are some very nice people here. At least I hope you'll see that.

Secondly, I am very sorry to hear you're still struggling so much.

Sept 5, 2009 14:16:27 GMT -5 alex91086 said:

It feels like no matter how nice I am to others that people just hate me and maybe even think I'm ugly for being bullied.

You may want to expand on that, as I'm a bit confused by it. I mean, I don't get how everyone you meet would even know you were bullied? Unless you've discussed it with them or they are from your childhood past?

Because if they're not from your past or don't know anything about your past, then the fact that you were bullied would have nothing to do with it.

I've never been bullied, but I can imagine how much of an impact that would have on one's self-esteem and thinking. Being ridiculed for so long can definitely leave a lasting, negative impression.

Also, what makes you think that all others hate you?

Sept 5, 2009 14:16:27 GMT -5 alex91086 said:

So does anyone think that being bullied makes you a ugly/bad person?

No, being bullied definitely does NOT make you an ugly or bad person. Being bullied makes you the victim. They were in the wrong for picking on you. No one deserves to be bullied.

[Rose]

Hi alex,
I'm sorry you had to go through so much crap during your childhood like that. No, being bullied has nothing to do with being ugly or bad. Often if kids bully other kids for seemingly no reason it's because they're insecure and bored and have issues themselves, so they find one poor kid to let it out on and it could be anybody. The kid may not even have to do anything at all.
That does NOT in any way mean they have the right to. And it does NOT mean it's your fault.

I agree with shynesssucks. Whether professional or not, you should find a positive person to help you through this.

[gaia]

Sept 5, 2009 14:16:27 GMT -5 alex91086 said:

So does anyone think that being bullied makes you a ugly/bad person? I'm I really a nice guy or are the bullies right?

I've been bullied in school too, so I can relate to how you feel.

Being bullied certainly does not make you ugly or bad. If anybody is ugly or bad, it's the bullies..

Anyway, obviously I can't see you, but you definitely don't sound ugly. And you don't sound bad or unkind, quite the opposite.

I understand how bullying can effect your self-esteem, even years after it's happened, but you have to remember that it makes you stronger.
And also like I said, bullies seriously have their own issues too. If remember that, and keep the compassionate outlook towards them, you're a far better person than they'll ever be.