|
|
Post by collegeshy on Oct 22, 2009 19:51:38 GMT -5
So I have been in college for about two months now and I have only really made one friend - and that is my roommate. I have met people - made acquaintances - but I only really feel comfortable talking to/hanging out with my roommate. I had friends in high school - good friends - that I still talk to. But I feel like I am never going to make any friends here. Everyone is different from me - into drinking, sororities/fraternities, sex...
I have met one guy that is different. He is really nice and we have had a few nice conversations. But the relationship has gone nowhere. We only talk if the opportunity presents itself and it hasn't presented itself lately. It is upsetting to me because I have a lot in common with him, but our relationship can't seem to get beyond acquaintance. I wouldn't mind it so much, but I am kind of attracted to him. Not just his looks (he is cute, though), but his personality. He is different and he is sweet. Aside from that, I wish we could at least become friends. I have talked to my friend from home about it (calling him "the guy"), but it hasn't reduced the stress.
Did anyone else have a hard time making friends in college? Or is anyone else having a hard time making friends in college?
|
|
|
|
Post by strawberrysweetie on Oct 23, 2009 1:07:30 GMT -5
So I have been in college for about two months now and I have only really made one friend - and that is my roommate. I have met people - made acquaintances - but I only really feel comfortable talking to/hanging out with my roommate. I had friends in high school - good friends - that I still talk to. But I feel like I am never going to make any friends here. Everyone is different from me - into drinking, sororities/fraternities, sex... Being shy really does make it difficult, I won't lie...  But the only way you'll be able to make friends is to put yourself out there. Acquaintances are a great start at least. You living in the dorms?? There should be opportunities, get-togethers set up by the campus, or even by your floor...try to take advantage of these. Any clubs you are interested in by all means....GO FOR IT!!!! (this is all advice I should have taken...) Does your roommate ever have anybody come over? The easiest way to meet people, I would think, would be through her. I have met one guy that is different. He is really nice and we have had a few nice conversations. But the relationship has gone nowhere. We only talk if the opportunity presents itself and it hasn't presented itself lately. It is upsetting to me because I have a lot in common with him, but our relationship can't seem to get beyond acquaintance. I wouldn't mind it so much, but I am kind of attracted to him. Not just his looks (he is cute, though), but his personality. He is different and he is sweet. Aside from that, I wish we could at least become friends. I have talked to my friend from home about it (calling him "the guy"), but it hasn't reduced the stress. How'd you meet? Again, if there are any opportunities for campus events, that'd be something to do together...or meet up there...or something. hmm..sorry...honestly, the relationship stuff is pretty much foreign to me... Did anyone else have a hard time making friends in college? Or is anyone else having a hard time making friends in college? YES. I mean, I made a few friends the first year at the dorms...but everything ended up weird, and we all basically went our own ways. I'm, of course, completely alone again. I don't have anyone at all I'm close to here anymore. And I'm a senior already. It sucks. It really shouldn't come as a surprise, though. I haven't done anything. I go to class, often arriving late, leave straight away afterwards, go home....waste time....study at home, work....those are my days. I don't socialize at all, and it's driving me up the wall... So, I would strongly advise you to at least TAKE PART IN SOMETHING! Get involved somehow. I always think it's easier to do things in the beginning...when everyone is new. Another suggestion I've heard, concerning classes, is to try to set up study groups. Make small talk before or after class with other students. Doing those things are really the only way to get to know people in your classes. Anyway, I hope this helps a little bit. In the very least, you are most certainly not the only one struggling. I wish you much luck! |
|
|
|
Post by collegeshy on Oct 23, 2009 7:35:02 GMT -5
Hey, thanks! Yeah, so I have tried to get involved in things - College Dems and yearbook. But while they have been fun, I haven't really met that many people in them. I usually go to College Dems things with my floormates or by myself. I don't hate my floormates - they're nice enough - but I don't have enough in common with them to really feel comfortable around them. I don't know - it's weird, you know? I feel really comfortable talking to certain people and not others. In yearbook, I have only had to write things from my dorm; we don't really have meetings. The thing about the guy is that I only see him in two classes and in one of them he has a friend he talks to and ignores me. He also lives on a separate campus (there is the main campus and the smaller campus - he lives on the smaller one), so there isn't much of an opportunity to run into him. I don't know - I kind of wish I was more outgoing and could ask him if he wanted to go for a coffee or something. But even then, we haven't had that many conversations and it seems a bit premature. I don't know. |
|
|
|
Post by strawberrysweetie on Oct 25, 2009 4:13:32 GMT -5
Well, it is good you're trying to be involved in things. . . .I don't know - it's weird, you know? I feel really comfortable talking to certain people and not others. . . I'm pretty much the same way. . . . I don't know - I kind of wish I was more outgoing and could ask him if he wanted to go for a coffee or something. But even then, we haven't had that many conversations and it seems a bit premature. yeah...that'd probably be the thing you'd have to do. Unless you could somehow work out a way to suggest studying with him...get help from him for the class, or whatever.  I don't really get how people get to know eachother in classes....all the ones I've had are not really set up in a way in which you get to know the other classmates. So, I'm not so sure it really matters how many conversations you've had with someone to suggest you two do something... I really do wish I had better advice to give. Or anything profound to say. But with each passing day, the more isolated I feel, relationships of any form get more and more foreign to me. So I don't know either. |
|
|
|
Post by josephk on Oct 31, 2009 20:39:37 GMT -5
Lol, this sounds familiar. After first year (when I was in a residence), I can probably count the number of social events I've been to on my hands (hell, maybe one hand). There are some people I would usually sit with and talk to in class, but I'd never see them anywhere else. I did put foreward an effort earlier on to get involved with stuff, because I knew this would happen, but there wasn't anything interesting. Lately, I've been considering getting involved with some charity work, at least that would be a way to see some new people and if nothing comes of it, at least there was a purpose behind it.
At least I've got lots of free time to work on some personal projects...
|
|
