Post by smithsfan on Oct 23, 2009 13:37:14 GMT -5
hi all, I haven't posted on here in ages (sorry!) but having a slightly tricky time atm. I'm 22 and living at home with my mum after uni, which is bad enough ha ha, but I also have ocd which means I don't feel I can sleep or go in my old bedroom. I have to sleep in my sister's (who's left home) room and keep most of my things downstairs or in the garage. Obviously that's very difficult for my mum, but the ocd has got much, much better in the last few years, I used to be sleeping downstairs and in the bathroom for 6+ hours everyday. And I'm still trying to improve all the time.
It would be better for both of us if I could move out but it's easier said than done, as I'm finding it difficult to get a job with very little experience.
When I first developed ocd there were massive rows because my mum thought i was being disobidient, and the old why-can't-you-snap-out-of-it thing. Now she's so much better about that, but she still acts the same way about me being shy and panicky around people.
She has a new partner and I've tried to not show how anxious I am when he comes over at weekends and so on, because they seem so happy together. But just now I asked whether he couldn't come a little bit later on saturday as I'm getting ready to go out somewhere stressfully social and was dreading dealing with both at once. She blew up. It just brought back bad memories of the time when we were at loggerheads over the ocd.
I know I sound really selfish, and I absolutely realise that no one is obliged to support and understand me and I'm grateful that most of the time she's doing both when other parents wouldn't. It's just frustrating when she makes these snide comments and says I should just get over it. It's hard to get through to her the levels of anxiety involved, she thinks I'm being fussy or controlling. I feel very daft now because I can see I was being a bit unreasonable, but it does really hurt when she plays that card. If it was as easy as just stopping being shy doesn't she reckon I would have done it by now??! Does she think I love being a billy-no-mates all the time?!
It would be better for both of us if I could move out but it's easier said than done, as I'm finding it difficult to get a job with very little experience.
When I first developed ocd there were massive rows because my mum thought i was being disobidient, and the old why-can't-you-snap-out-of-it thing. Now she's so much better about that, but she still acts the same way about me being shy and panicky around people.
She has a new partner and I've tried to not show how anxious I am when he comes over at weekends and so on, because they seem so happy together. But just now I asked whether he couldn't come a little bit later on saturday as I'm getting ready to go out somewhere stressfully social and was dreading dealing with both at once. She blew up. It just brought back bad memories of the time when we were at loggerheads over the ocd.
I know I sound really selfish, and I absolutely realise that no one is obliged to support and understand me and I'm grateful that most of the time she's doing both when other parents wouldn't. It's just frustrating when she makes these snide comments and says I should just get over it. It's hard to get through to her the levels of anxiety involved, she thinks I'm being fussy or controlling. I feel very daft now because I can see I was being a bit unreasonable, but it does really hurt when she plays that card. If it was as easy as just stopping being shy doesn't she reckon I would have done it by now??! Does she think I love being a billy-no-mates all the time?!
People can only understand so much and no one's perfect.
Befriend the trees...they are good listeners. ;D
I think you're right about not feeling guilty, but not expecting other people to always understand everything either. The row's mostly worked itself out over night so feeling much better now (though a bit silly for getting so wound up!). I suppose me and my mum are just quite similar in the ways we [over!] react. But like you say, we're both trying hard so that's a real improvement. And I know there'd still be arguements and misunderstanding even without the ocd and social stuff, it just goes with the territory I guess. So thanks for the support, not lame at all, really helpful! ;D