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Post by Outcast on Apr 22, 2010 1:25:02 GMT -5
How do you feel about posting in forums?
Do you usually post what you feel?
How do you feel about lurkers? and those who post often? How many is too much posts? and how many is too little? Do you think it's ok to greet someone a happy birthday even if you are new to the forum and don't know most of it's members? Do you think expressing what you feel and posting helps you in some way? Or do you think it only add stress and pressure on you and makes you vulnerable?
Just something i've been thinking. There was a time when i was posting freely in another forum. But lately i've been only lurking and posting seldomly. I worry about what the other members will think. Sometimes i think maybe it's better to lurk and post seldomly. Sometimes i feel it doesn't.
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Post by Rose on Apr 22, 2010 6:46:36 GMT -5
I don't really think about it that much to be honest. I feel like I'm just communicating my thoughts or throwing in my two cents. I post what I feel if I know how to say it, feel strongly enough about the topic, or am asked my opinion. I don't feel anything about lurkers. They just are there or not.  People can and should post as often or as un-often as feels normal for them at that time. If I feel I have to over-think what I am posting than I simply don't and save it for another time or post somewhere else. As for happy birthdays, If a new person wanted to wish me a happy birthday I wouldn't think bad of it. ;D But some people who show up on the birthday lists there haven't logged in for years and a newer person may not know a semi-regular from an idle username name still floating around. The decision of how much to post is best left to each individual, the same applies for regular talking of course.  I guess it goes back to that old cliche that says to just be yourself. As long as people are kind to others (and themselves), I don't see a problem with post content.  |
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Post by Outcast on Apr 22, 2010 11:25:49 GMT -5
Thanks for the feedback Rose. I guess it really does boil down to that old cliche of just being yourself and deciding for yourself whether you really want to post something or not. To be free from worries or fears of standing out. Being honest with yourself about what you like and dislike. The really hard part of which is getting over something bad someone says about you.  |
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Post by HybridMoment on Apr 22, 2010 22:07:37 GMT -5
10 years ago when I first started posting in online message boards I was much less apprehensive then I am today. I just became more of a lurker as time went on.
I guess back then I perceived that people cared more about what I had to say and it was more fun because it was new to me.
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Robe
Junior Member
Posts: 97
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Post by Robe on Apr 22, 2010 23:39:35 GMT -5
I'm mostly a lurker, but this is the first forum I'm actually talking to people on. |
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Post by Farouche on Apr 24, 2010 1:49:22 GMT -5
What kind of bad things did someone say to you, Outcast? If you don’t mind my asking, of course. Just wondering whether there’s a specific underlying question that you’re looking to have answered, or a bad experience that you'd like to discuss. In regard to the questions you did ask... I’ll echo Rose by saying that I don’t think about lurkers at all, generally. Though I guess it’s kind of an odd feature of the internet when you do think about it: all those faceless eyeballs out there watching our conversations, lol.  Personally, I lurk all the time on other forums I like. It’s just to be expected, especially on a shy forum. Of course, it’s great when people finally decide to de-lurk, but all in your own good time. If you just want to post every now and then, that’s certainly ok, too. If you want to really integrate into the board community, however, I think it’s beneficial to post more often. People are sort of trained to gloss over newbie posts, mainly because they just don’t have a clear picture of the personality behind the screen name. It’s like real life, in that respect. Posting often helps you find your posting comfort zone more quickly, and it helps other posters see you as part of the community instead of just a tourist. Posting too much, on the other hand, is hardly ever a problem. In fact, posting a lot is usually awesome. Sure, people will get fed up if you spam board with a million threads containing personal monologues about your dandruff, or if you bring a ton of ancient threads back from the dead (I did a bit of that back when I was new; oops), or if all you do is rant and cause discord, etc. All easy enough to avoid. I don’t think most people even mind long posts, since it’s easy enough to skip anything you don’t want to read. ...At least, I like long posts. I may be a tad biased. HybridMoment -------------
I guess back then I perceived that people cared more about what I had to say I always look forward to your posts, Hybrid. You’ve got a great dark sense of humor; I just usually can’t come up with anything worth saying in return. In fact, I should say that I enjoy a lot of posts that I don’t always end up responding to. I have reason to believe that a lot of people are like me in that they tend to assume posters know without being told when their posts are interesting/enjoyable/funny/insightful. Plus, it’d feel weird, I think, going around all the time congratulating people on being worth knowing. So I think more people tend to care about each person's posts than the poster him/herself would ever know. It's nice to think that if nothing else, our posts collectively are what keep those lurkers coming back for more. ;D |
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Post by Outcast on Apr 24, 2010 9:47:33 GMT -5
I think the problem is that i'm still just too sensitive for my own good really.  It's embarrasing and maybe they have every right to react the way they did. So you guys might want to stop reading at this point. (Skip and go down to # 2 please  But for those who want to know like Farouche... 1) There was a time someone said i was annoying for bringing up an old topic. Which another member agreed to who also added that i was doing it all the time and for quite some time. Then there was another time, where i felt i was indirectly being singled out and criticized in one of their pet peeves topic. They didn't like members doing this and this. There was also this other instance that i felt i was being mocked by another member doing more things that people didn't like. When i was still new there, i also posted a picture which they misunderstood and also mocked. But these were all done in the past, and i think i got over them. I learned to be very very careful when posting a new topic. Which is to say, i didn't start any after all those experiences. But i was still posting quite a lot of compliments on the art stuff people do there. Then i learned how to do them on my own. It was a lot of work. But they liked the finish product. I got complimented in return. Then, there was this member who requested i do an artwork for him. I thought i could do it quickly but it turned out that i couldn't. I felt quite guilty. Then i found myself analyzing my posts. My posts were mostly complimenting and giving advice to the artworks of the other members. I suddenly thought maybe i was coming off as somebody who knew what he was doing and came to the conclusion that i wasn't worthy to say all those compliments and advices. So i thought of lying low for a while. Now i feel even more guilty for not giving out my usual compliments and approvals of their work. I really don't want them to think i don't like their work anymore. I think i've become an outsider once again. So that's my story. Now I'm worried what you people will think about me and all this.  2) Anyways, now that all that's out of the way. I would like to thank all those who shared their opinions about posting/lurking on this thread. |
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Post by strawberrysweetie on Apr 24, 2010 17:55:00 GMT -5
How do you feel about posting in forums? --it's a'ight Do you usually post what you feel? -- yeah, though I can get a bit paranoid about it sometimes How do you feel about lurkers? -- I don't really think about them too much either. and those who post often? -- well, me being one of them....lol :S I don't know. I really don't think about it too much. I like when people post, because it keeps the forum interesting. How many is too much posts? and how many is too little? -- People are free to post as much or as little as they want to. My high post number actually bothers me a bit, as I feel it signifies something I don't want to be a fact. I don't think the same as other people with a high post count, though. Not sure if I'm making sense. :S Do you think it's ok to greet someone a happy birthday even if you are new to the forum and don't know most of it's members? -- It is more than okay, it's terrific. It's a nice gesture. Do you think expressing what you feel and posting helps you in some way? -- yes, to a degree. It's some sort of interaction with people...easier online than in real life. Or do you think it only add stress and pressure on you and makes you vulnerable? -- well, sometimes I feel this way too. It depends what the topic is and what I post. I find I can get very paranoid about what I write sometimes, for fear of offending someone and whatnot. I'm finding, though, that no matter how careful I am, people can still take what you say out of context and take things the wrong way or be hurt even when that wasn't what was meant. This is really the only forum I frequent regularly and post regularly on. And even now, even as long as I've been coming here, I still get 'weird' about my posts...deleting, editing, blah, blah, blah. Sometimes I post something and then just delete it not so long after for whatever weird feeling I get from it. I don't know. 10 years ago when I first started posting in online message boards I was much less apprehensive then I am today. I just became more of a lurker as time went on. I guess back then I perceived that people cared more about what I had to say and it was more fun because it was new to me. There is something of a novelty to it, I think. I enjoyed posting in the past more than I do now. For me, probably more from being shy and lacking a life, and wishing I had something in real life to turn to rather than a computer screen at the end of the day. I'm mostly a lurker, but this is the first forum I'm actually talking to people on. woo-hoo! So that's my story. Now I'm worried what you people will think about me and all this. I certainly don't think badly of you for any of that. I think a lot of people here particularly can probably relate to the way you feel about it, being sensitive to others' comments, worrying about being accepted or not, etc. It's easy for us shy types to do that. I don't know what to say really, though. If I was criticized for being somewhere a lot, and felt rejected by the community, and just felt paranoid in general, I probably wouldn't post there anymore. I would find that way too stressful. Lurking's always fine, though. No one ever knows when you do that. Perhaps they just figure you don't compliment anymore because you no longer frequent there.
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revai
New Member
Posts: 18
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Post by revai on Apr 24, 2010 18:23:44 GMT -5
I have over 5000 posts in a non-serious spammy sort-of forum, but lack the thought power to actually contribude any serious stuff or advice |
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Post by Outcast on Apr 25, 2010 21:30:22 GMT -5
I certainly don't think badly of you for any of that. I think a lot of people here particularly can probably relate to the way you feel about it, being sensitive to others' comments, worrying about being accepted or not, etc. It's easy for us shy types to do that. I don't know what to say really, though. If I was criticized for being somewhere a lot, and felt rejected by the community, and just felt paranoid in general, I probably wouldn't post there anymore. I would find that way too stressful. Lurking's always fine, though. No one ever knows when you do that. Perhaps they just figure you don't compliment anymore because you no longer frequent there. Thank you Strawberry. It is a comfort to know that there is at least someone who can relate to what i'm feeling. I probably am feeling paranoid in general and it does feel a bit stressful. So i guess i'll just probably be lurking there for the meantime. Of course, i could always start anew by registering as a new member. My high post number actually bothers me a bit, as I feel it signifies something I don't want to be a fact. I think i can relate. My mom says i spend too much time on the internet. The internet can be very addictive. Do you think expressing what you feel and posting helps you in some way? -- yes, to a degree. It's some sort of interaction with people...easier online than in real life. Or do you think it only add stress and pressure on you and makes you vulnerable? -- well, sometimes I feel this way too. It depends what the topic is and what I post. I find I can get very paranoid about what I write sometimes, for fear of offending someone and whatnot. I'm finding, though, that no matter how careful I am, people can still take what you say out of context and take things the wrong way or be hurt even when that wasn't what was meant. I think I pretty much feel the same way. Do you think it's ok to greet someone a happy birthday even if you are new to the forum and don't know most of it's members? -- It is more than okay, it's terrific. It's a nice gesture. Yeah sometimes i feel the same way too. But sometimes, you know i feel like i'm barging in on a birthday party i'm not really invited to. Where the celebrant would say " Who are you?" |
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Post by Stranger on Apr 27, 2010 23:59:47 GMT -5
I find I can get turned off reading a particular person's posts if they write large quantities of uninteresting stuff. Or if it's hard to read, like written in textspeak, or atrociously spelt. But otherwise if it's interesting or helpful or entertaining to me then I think the more the better!
Conversely, I'll usually try to post if I can think of something that others might find interesting, helpful, entertaining, or whatever. Admittedly my last post consisted of a little more than a wall of psychotic animated birthday cakes which probably doesn't fit any of those bills... Still, I felt it had to be done. ;D
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Post by Farouche on Apr 28, 2010 0:26:54 GMT -5
Outcast -------------
1) There was a time someone said i was annoying for bringing up an old topic. Which another member agreed to who also added that i was doing it all the time and for quite some time. Then there was another time, where i felt i was indirectly being singled out and criticized in one of their pet peeves topic. They didn't like members doing this and this. There was also this other instance that i felt i was being mocked by another member doing more things that people didn't like. When i was still new there, i also posted a picture which they misunderstood and also mocked. It’s easy to see why people on a very large might be legitimately peeved if newbies keep posting the same topics over and over, but it’s their fault, not yours, if they’re rude to you or taking passive-aggressive shots at you in another thread. They could have PMed you or said something in a friendly way, if education was their only goal. Maybe some of them even thought they were being friendly or at least neutral, without considering how easily an offhand comment can be misread by a stranger. I often take criticism too hard myself, but it helps me to depersonalize the internet a little bit when I think in terms of statistics: at any given moment, what percentage of the world’s population would instantly hate me for reasons beyond my control? What percentage wouldn’t like me due to their own obscure pet peeves, or even based on legitimate personality flaws (that others may choose to overlook)? And then again, what percentage of the population simply hates sweet little kitties and puppies? The internet gives us a chance to meet tons of people you might otherwise never run into in person, and it lets you read, at your own pace, personal conversations that you would never have stuck around to hear in real life. The potential to annoy and be annoyed is much greater on teh interwebs; the barrier to making snippy comments is much lower. So basically, if you participate in the internet, you’re almost guaranteed to push some people’s buttons, and some of those people will tell you about it. That’s what I tell myself, anyway. I’ll still get pissed off at internet shenanigans and react accordingly, but it does soften the blow, lol. Outcast -------------
So that's my story. Now I'm worried Do not! ;D Outcast -------------
what you people will think about me and all this. It's nothin' to be ashamed of. Other people’s pissy reactions to miniscule irritants are not your fault (again, so I keep telling myself, lol). And about the art thing, I do that sometimes, too: telling myself that I’m not “worthy” to comment on other people’s creations. But then I figure that as long as I’m not talking down to them (which I wouldn’t want to do anyway), they’ll just take or leave my comment as it suits them just like they would anyone else’s, and they’ll appreciate a nice comment even if it doesn’t shoot them over the moon. Same with the “happy birthday.” Unless it's a threatening happy birthday *cough, Stranger's wall of cakes, cough ;D*, it's aaaall good. |
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Post by Outcast on Apr 30, 2010 9:54:18 GMT -5
....The internet gives us a chance to meet tons of people you might otherwise never run into in person, ..... The potential to annoy and be annoyed is much greater on teh interwebs; .....So basically, if you participate in the internet, you’re almost guaranteed to push some people’s buttons, and some of those people will tell you about it. That’s what I tell myself, anyway. I’ll still get pissed off at internet shenanigans and react accordingly, but it does soften the blow, lol. Thanks for that little piece of advice, Farouche. I really should remember to tell myself that the next time something like this happens again. Do not! ;D It's nothin' to be ashamed of. Other people’s pissy reactions to miniscule irritants are not your fault (again, so I keep telling myself, lol). And about the art thing, I do that sometimes, too: telling myself that I’m not “worthy” to comment on other people’s creations. But then I figure that as long as I’m not talking down to them (which I wouldn’t want to do anyway), they’ll just take or leave my comment as it suits them just like they would anyone else’s, and they’ll appreciate a nice comment even if it doesn’t shoot them over the moon. Same with the “happy birthday.” Unless it's a threatening happy birthday *cough, Stranger's wall of cakes, cough ;D*, it's aaaall good. I really appreciate your reply Farouche. Thank you for making me feel comfortable and not weird about myself after all that. I think it was really kind of you to do so. Thanks for taking the time.  |
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Post by Farouche on May 2, 2010 4:31:22 GMT -5
Outcast --------------
Thanks for that little piece of advice, Farouche. I really should remember to tell myself that the next time something like this happens again. Yay! I'm happy to hear it stuck a chord with you. Frequently I forget to take my own advice, so it actually helped me, too, to put it down on screen. ;D Outcast --------------
Thanks for taking the time. No problem. |
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I guess it goes back to that old cliche that says to just be yourself.
Befriend the trees...they are good listeners. ;D
Personally, I lurk all the time on other forums I like. It’s just to be expected, especially on a shy forum. Of course, it’s great when people finally decide to de-lurk, but all in your own good time.
