Shyness has literally ruined my life

[loneangel]

Hi everyone, I'm new here and I thought I should talk to people like me about this...well I just turned 19 and I've been extremely shy all my life, It's the last year I'll be a teen and I haven't experienced anything all because of this problem. I was homeschooled so I don't even have much experience with people and now I feel like i wasted everything. I didn't go to school or have any kind of fun like other people cause I was too afraid but now it's too late to fix it. Now that I think about my pathetic life, shyness was always the cause of my problems. never had any connection or relationship with people cause of it and I never bothered to do anything, just gave up. I just woke up and realized how stupid ive been and now its too late cause I lost everyting I wanted and I dont even care about whatever else is left of my life...it's just boring jobs and responsibilities in college. What's the point. All those years were supposed to be the funnest time and I wasted it doing nothing. There's just no point now...i dont know if i'll ever be able to be happy. Maybe I'm just meant to be alone all my life:( like I even have a life. I dont even feel alive like everyone around me...

[Scotty]

First of all, welcome to SU and congrats on your first post.

When I was 19 I felt similar. I sucked at talking to people and had trouble making friends and I too felt pathetic. I'm now 25. A lot has happened in my life since then and i'm now considerably better at being social. I still consider myself to be behind everyone else in terms of life experiences and I'm hardly the life of the party, but I'm still young and hopefully I still have a long life ahead of me in order to grow and improve on my happiness.

I'm not really good at giving advice so I don't know if this post is useful to you.Really I just want you to keep in mind that even though you feel you've missed out on so much, you're still young and a lot can happen in a short time.

[lizk9]

I'm 50 and in the same position and don't know what to do about this, would also be grateful for any advice please. Thanks.

[Tal]

Well at the grand old age of 26 I feel the same way. I've thrown away my youth and as much as I'd dearly love it back there's nothing anyone can do to undo time. You just have to try as best you can to let it go and try extra hard to make the most of what you have now...which is easier said than done, because I'm not getting anywhere in a hurry...still plodding along alone and feeling sorry for myself.

I'll always feel 10 years behind my peers, especially in terms of relationship and sexual experience of which I still have none. Trust me it gives me many sleepless nights, but in the end all you have is the future. The best you can do is to learn from what you lost. There's no easy solution I'm afraid...though you're still quite young at 19 and tbh if I could go back to 20 and have another stab at the last 6 years I'd be overjoyed, so don't let it get you down. You've not lost that much, even though I know it seems like an eternity.

[Outcast]

I can't pretend to understand what you are feeling but i think i feel kinda similar. When i'm not busy escaping the hard reality of being alone, i also feel an emptiness in my life that i know will only build up as time goes by and will eventually catch up with me sooner or later. I've been shy and alone since i was a little kid. And it feels like i'm stuck at that time as i watch everyone i know grow up and move forward with their lives. It hurts to compare what little i have achieved in life to what they have done with theirs. Nevertheless, i have no one else to blame for this but myself. I chose to give up making friends because i didn't want to get hurt. The desire to overcome my shyness just isn't strong anymore.

So, I guess the lesson of my story is that one should never give up and to just keep on trying. Don't let go of that desire to change and if possible always remind yourself of that goal to overcome your shyness. And if the desire becomes strong enough, i think you will be able to overcome anything. Another important thing to remember is you need patience. Change doesn't happen overnight but if you are patient enough to keep working on it even a little bit each day, i think it's possible.


Here's a link i found that i hope could help get things started.

ezinearticles.com/?6-Ways-Not-To-Give-Up&id=57830

[timarends]

To the original poster, if it makes you feel any better, a lot of teenagers have this feeling, not just shy ones. And I hate to be the one to tell you this, but the teenage years are not necessarily the happiest ones of your life. As a teenager, you have a lot of the responsibilities of an adult without most of the freedoms.

And if you hate the thought of college I would advise looking into attending a trade school instead. College is not for everyone, in fact, there has been a decline in the value of college as the number of college graduates is gone up. Law of supply and demand and all that sort of thing.

And you shouldn't think that you would have overcome your shyness if you were not homeschooled. My parents thought my going to college for four years would help me with my shyness and it did nothing for me.

[gals]

May 13, 2010 6:09:30 GMT -5 loneangel said:

Hi everyone, I'm new here and I thought I should talk to people like me about this...well I just turned 19 and I've been extremely shy all my life, It's the last year I'll be a teen and I haven't experienced anything all because of this problem. I was homeschooled so I don't even have much experience with people and now I feel like i wasted everything. I didn't go to school or have any kind of fun like other people cause I was too afraid but now it's too late to fix it. Now that I think about my pathetic life, shyness was always the cause of my problems. never had any connection or relationship with people cause of it and I never bothered to do anything, just gave up. I just woke up and realized how stupid ive been and now its too late cause I lost everyting I wanted and I dont even care about whatever else is left of my life...it's just boring jobs and responsibilities in college. What's the point. All those years were supposed to be the funnest time and I wasted it doing nothing. There's just no point now...i dont know if i'll ever be able to be happy. Maybe I'm just meant to be alone all my life:( like I even have a life. I dont even feel alive like everyone around me...

Hi loneangel,

Don't say that. Nothing is too late for anyone or for anything for that matter. You're still young at 19. I myself am a real late bloomer, having a great realization about life and the world at about my id 20's! LOL.

I'm in my late 20's now, still shy an introvert but I don't consider myself pathetic or loser. NO WAY! Life is still beautiful as long as you're moving forward to the life that you want, though through gradual baby steps, inch by inch along the way.

Don't be impatient as haste makes waste. Value what you have right now and if you had some regrets, so what? At least you realize it now that at a later time. You still have a lot of time in your hands so don't waste it with your unnecessary "if only's"

[therockobama]

I think that you are still 19, fairly young and depending on your personal situation, you've got time on your side to change things. If you're studying and go into higher education then that might help meeting new people, going on nights out etc. So, it's difficult for one shy person to give advice to another as I should do what I preach but at 19, time might bring more opportunities that might see you change things for the better.

[wormwood9]

hi
first of all, i think that being homeschooled is the worst thing ever for shy people. Yes, it may be extremly comfortable to have someone teaching you at home and not having to build relationships with other people, but when school is over, you will regret it. it's the time you feel like "it's too late". Well, it's never too late, but it's definatly "later" for shy people and with aging, it only becomes harder to build relationships.
i've just turned 20yo and i feel exactly the same way as you. i feel like i was never a teen nor i lived a "real life". Im on my last university year and i know the best time of my life has gone by now. i still hope that i will change for better and i will make new friends at work or smt.

[soulelectroluv]

May 13, 2010 6:09:30 GMT -5 loneangel said:

Hi everyone, I'm new here and I thought I should talk to people like me about this...well I just turned 19 and I've been extremely shy all my life, It's the last year I'll be a teen and I haven't experienced anything all because of this problem. I was homeschooled so I don't even have much experience with people and now I feel like i wasted everything. I didn't go to school or have any kind of fun like other people cause I was too afraid but now it's too late to fix it. Now that I think about my pathetic life, shyness was always the cause of my problems. never had any connection or relationship with people cause of it and I never bothered to do anything, just gave up. I just woke up and realized how stupid ive been and now its too late cause I lost everyting I wanted and I dont even care about whatever else is left of my life...it's just boring jobs and responsibilities in college. What's the point. All those years were supposed to be the funnest time and I wasted it doing nothing. There's just no point now...i dont know if i'll ever be able to be happy. Maybe I'm just meant to be alone all my life:( like I even have a life. I dont even feel alive like everyone around me...

Hi,
I feel the same way. I am 23 years old. What I find helpful is remembering that you can always live life to its fullest.

[anaomal]

Homeschooling is almost like child abuse. So many homeschooled kids turn out to be socially stunted.

Study sociology. That's your ticket to understanding human social ritual.

[timarends]

No! Not sociology! Sociology will teach you little about human relations. It's been totally taken over by political correctness. You can learn more about human relations from the Internet than you can from sociology.