Post by unrelated on Jun 26, 2010 21:30:33 GMT -5
Hi.
I'm a 19 year old guy in the UK with social anxiety. I knew for quite a while that I was 'different' in some way, but only put a name to it about 4 years ago. Since then I've always promised myself that I'd do something about it, but I've never had the willpower
The only word to describe it is terror. Sheer terror at facing the world and the people in it. I can handle short encounters with ease, although there's always that fear, waiting to strike. I'm mortified of any kind of presentations to a group, and I will often try to keep any such endeavors as brief as possible to minimise what I see as humiliation. I'm fine with my closer friends, although at all costs I'll attempt to keep the spotlight anywhere but on me.
I always find myself overthinking situations in advance, trying to imagine every scenario possible and what I'd do. Recently, this has turned more into desperately attempting to avoid putting myself into them in the first place. I do everything to try and hide my symptoms; blushing, heavy sweating, shaking, etc etc, sometimes by thinking up a reason to get away if only for a minute.
Phone calls. Ohhhh no. I need a mini-script before even thinking about dialling that number, and even then I'll delay for days on end trying to avoid getting around to it. Oddly, I don't normally have trouble receiving calls; it must be that I handle things better unplanned.
I've never had a relationship of course. I know (I have been told) that I'm fairly attractive, and indeed I've had clear opportunities in the past...opportunities I never pursued out of fear *sigh*. It tears me up inside when I look back and realise how stupid I was, that I could never take a first step and didn't even acknowledge them
Anyway, sorry for the rant, this is the first time I've told anyone about it.
I'm a 19 year old guy in the UK with social anxiety. I knew for quite a while that I was 'different' in some way, but only put a name to it about 4 years ago. Since then I've always promised myself that I'd do something about it, but I've never had the willpower
The only word to describe it is terror. Sheer terror at facing the world and the people in it. I can handle short encounters with ease, although there's always that fear, waiting to strike. I'm mortified of any kind of presentations to a group, and I will often try to keep any such endeavors as brief as possible to minimise what I see as humiliation. I'm fine with my closer friends, although at all costs I'll attempt to keep the spotlight anywhere but on me.
I always find myself overthinking situations in advance, trying to imagine every scenario possible and what I'd do. Recently, this has turned more into desperately attempting to avoid putting myself into them in the first place. I do everything to try and hide my symptoms; blushing, heavy sweating, shaking, etc etc, sometimes by thinking up a reason to get away if only for a minute.
Phone calls. Ohhhh no. I need a mini-script before even thinking about dialling that number, and even then I'll delay for days on end trying to avoid getting around to it. Oddly, I don't normally have trouble receiving calls; it must be that I handle things better unplanned.
I've never had a relationship of course. I know (I have been told) that I'm fairly attractive, and indeed I've had clear opportunities in the past...opportunities I never pursued out of fear *sigh*. It tears me up inside when I look back and realise how stupid I was, that I could never take a first step and didn't even acknowledge them
Anyway, sorry for the rant, this is the first time I've told anyone about it.