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Post by loneangel on Aug 22, 2010 0:06:30 GMT -5
Hi everyone:)
So I was chatting online with this guy who seemed to like me and then came that painful awkward silence when I didn't know what to say, so I made an excuse to go offline. So I'm sure he thought I was weird and gave up. It's alot easier for me to say what's on my mind but it's still uncomfortable...I feel like people wouldn't want to talk to me since I have no conversation skills anyway and everyone else always knows the right thing to say. Always something funny and smart and I get nervous and blank out. I'm always worrying i'm boring them... Great, I even look pathetic online. Do any of you guys get shy even online?
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Post by fightingspirit on Aug 22, 2010 23:33:38 GMT -5
Hi everyone:) So I was chatting online with this guy who seemed to like me and then came that painful awkward silence when I didn't know what to say, so I made an excuse to go offline. So I'm sure he thought I was weird and gave up. It's alot easier for me to say what's on my mind but it's still uncomfortable...I feel like people wouldn't want to talk to me since I have no conversation skills anyway and everyone else always knows the right thing to say. Always something funny and smart and I get nervous and blank out. I'm always worrying i'm boring them... Great, I even look pathetic online. Do any of you guys get shy even online? The majority of anxious people get that feeling where they don't know what to talk about next and the discomfort grows with each passing second. You can take some relief in the thought that the guy you were talking to felt at least as nervous as you did. When you come across such a situation, you should realize that as a girl you have a lot of leverage in being the passive one, you don't need to rush and struggle for a conversation topic. Nobody will blame you for a moment of silence. |
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Post by timarends on Aug 29, 2010 22:22:00 GMT -5
Talking online is not nearly as hard as talking in person. If you're quiet for a moment online, they think maybe someone has just walked into the room with you and you were momentarily distracted. Online, you don't have to worry about making eye contact, body language, the inflection in your voice, laughing at their jokes, and a dozen other things. It's much easier to chat online than in person.
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Post by emptybutstrong on Sept 17, 2010 10:46:49 GMT -5
I am really bad at MSN messenger and such online, it feels too fast. I do well in forums though and often type out what I want to write, view it multiple times then decide if it is really something I want to say. 5 times out of 10 I erase and try again.
There's only one real site I can't talk on the forums at because it's unmoderated and filled with abuse. However reading some of the stuff can get quite interesting.^^
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Sept 20, 2010 18:31:13 GMT -5
I'm sure the guy you were talking to didn't think you were weird for a short silence and then your logging off. He probably just thought that something came up and you had to go.
I'm shy all the time, over the years I've found ways to deal with it but it's always there.
You shouldn't be so hard on yourself, everybody is at least a little awkward when they first meet someone new, it takes time to develop a friendship. And there are some people who you will have nothing in common with, you'll bore each other, that doesn't make you boring or pathetic.
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gals
Full Member
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Post by gals on Dec 12, 2010 22:00:52 GMT -5
Hi everyone:) So I was chatting online with this guy who seemed to like me and then came that painful awkward silence when I didn't know what to say, so I made an excuse to go offline. So I'm sure he thought I was weird and gave up. It's alot easier for me to say what's on my mind but it's still uncomfortable...I feel like people wouldn't want to talk to me since I have no conversation skills anyway and everyone else always knows the right thing to say. Always something funny and smart and I get nervous and blank out. I'm always worrying i'm boring them... Great, I even look pathetic online. Do any of you guys get shy even online? But there are people who find it even easier to talk online than in person coz it gives them anonymity than face to face talk. I don't know about you, but DON'T pressure yourself in trying to be somebody you're not. At least if he feels that you're being true, he already knows your imperfections and like you for who you are. |
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Post by timarends on Dec 12, 2010 23:17:56 GMT -5
Yes, I've gotten nervous while chatting online, especially when I first started doing it. However, I do not think chatting online is nearly as difficult for the shy person is chatting face-to-face.
I noticed the original poster said "Do any of you guys get shy EVEN online?" the word even seems to indicate that they subconsciously realize that chatting online is not as difficult as face-to-face.
"Awkward silences" are not the same in text chats as they are in person because the other person doesn't know what you are doing. You could be distracted because your cat just walked by, somebody walked into the room, etc.
I would say don't worry about it too much.
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