I'm 24 - I have to change now or live with it!

[therockobama]

So, this is a really difficult post to make because there's alot of story to tell.

I'll try to make it brief as possible.

For as long as I can remember, I've always been a shy person compared to the confidence that my brothers have exhumed in their outer personalities.

I've always wished I was more like them, or had some of their attributes although it hasn't been a major thought in my mind. However, after graduating from Uni last year and finding a job, I came up with a job closer to my degree which I got. So, having got the job, I'm in a position where I've gone so into my shell that this job is drifting away from me. So much so my low levels of esteem have been noted in formal meetings and they said my performance is different compared to my interview, where I was so confident etc.

At the interview stage, I never expected to get the job so I just went full hog at it. At work, I tend to be isolated and within a group of people who I can't resonate with and end up going to work, and doing my job without creating links with anybody. (I'm doing my job, not even to the standards it should be!).

E.g. My shyness has prevented me from doing tasks such as talking to people within the workforce, calling people. And having passed my driving test last year, I haven't driven since and that fear about getting on the road is getting to me aswell as I may have to do long distance driving with the job but I don't trust myself to do a simple task like that.

I'm at age, where I need to change as these next years will be the most important in my life personally and professionally.

Anyways, I have rambled on. Any tips, advice and questions much appreciated.

Thank you.

[Paper]

I'm watching this thread with interest, as I'm in a very similar situation myself.

The only piece of advice I can give is to try to go to anything that happens outside of work, like if people go for a drink at the end of the day. I don't like going, but the few people I get on with reasonably well with at work are those that I've spoken to in the pub. I have very little to do with anyone else.

[lostmyself]

I can also kind of relate. Every job I've been in I've gone in, got quietly on with my work and gone home not really speaking to anyone. I've only been in office jobs though where I don't use the phone and am not required to interact that much. I agree with paper though, if you can try and push yourself to go out socially with your colleagues occasionally you might be able to relax around them a little more when you're at work.

Try not to put too much pressure on yourself to change or be someone else, I've always found that it's easy to scare yourself out of things if you try and force yourself to change all at once, just take things one step at a time. I'm not sure if you have access to a car but maybe try and drive some short distances to try and build your confidence up.

[therockobama]

Due to religious reasons, I can't really go out for a drink or do too much socially with alcohol involved so again that puts a barrier between me and the rest of the team. I'm trying to go into work and have a renewed approach. I'm doing what's asked of me and trying to be more enthusiastic about things aswell. Whether that's been noted, I will find out on Tuesday when I have a formal meeting.

I should be getting a car soon so will be intending to drive to build confidence up. It's just depressing when you feel you've got the inner confidence to be someone else but when it comes to executing that confidence in the exterior, you just can't do it.