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Post by nghtrain36 on Nov 22, 2010 19:24:48 GMT -5
Hi everyone, I'm new here. This is my first time ever even using one of these sites before so don't know what to expect, but here it goes. I'm isolated, I've never connected before with society. I've always been rejected and I'm never invited to go anywhere or do anything. I rarely even leave my house anymore. I've never dated, never kissed anyone, never even been in direct contact with the other gender. I'm only 16 but this lonely feeling really has taken a toll on me (so much as to the point of being antisocial for a while!) I was antisocial for a good part of my early teen years and I had a problem with superiority. I always looked down on society, thought that they were all scum and would regret ignoring me. Of course those days are gone, but now the plain loneliness has consumed me. There's nothing wrong with my personality other than the fact that I'm probably the biggest nerd in half of my state. I always am rejected and never talked to during school and even some of my teachers avoid me! I just can't find anyone out there that cares. Whenever I try to talk to people, they shrug me off and just ignore me. And the worst part is that after being a single male for all these years, I'm lovesick! Girls always look at me with disgust, and I really (in my own opinion) don't look that bad. They just find my hobbies weird, but is that any reason to reject me? I always have this gut wrenching feeling in my stomach from being so cold and alone and I get sick from it every day. The only way I deal with it is by writing, drawing, and listening to music. I'm slowly being eaten up by my own lack of socialism, but I can't be social if no one is there to be with! Is there any one out there that understands?
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Post by geekguy on Nov 22, 2010 23:39:32 GMT -5
Hello sir, I'm a single 19 y/o male and I can relate to some of the things you've said "Never invited to go anywhere" - yep know all about that "Always been rejected" - I got rejected and humiliated to the point where I just stopped trying "Never dated" - /tick "Wierd hobbies" I'm guessing since you've proclaimed yourself a nerd you're a big player of video-games, or anime watcher, listen to "different" music. Honestly, I found highschool to be a bitch as far as socialising goes, all the different groups of people, social hierarchies n such. It took me until I was 18 before I had my first kiss, and that was when I was drunk and with a drunk girl, and it took until I was 19 to lose my virginity, again, the girl was drunk (but this time I wasn't). Newsflash coming your way: It's nothing special, and if I could I would take my virginity back believe it or not. Things become a lot easier when you stop worrying about girls. If you find an awesome girl, great, give it a go, but other than that, try to relax about this issue. Beating yourself up over it does far more harm than good. So people isolate you because of your hobbies? Fuck them then, just do what you do and find people to connect with elsewhere. No matter what you do, there'll be groups for it on the internet somewhere (drawing - deviantArt, writing - haven't looked into it, music, there's like a million places for music). You know what I did when I felt alone? I just went outside and walked around. I went to the city and just walked around checking all the places out I'd never been before, discovering all the nice cocktail bars, and trying new things (for me, the main thing was just having new cocktails every few days, love me some cocktails, no matter how much shit people give me for it). And hey, I like to look down on people too sometimes, but mainly the bogans of my area who are just.... so typically bogan that it hurts to look at lol Honestly though, take a load off, pull up a chair and get involved here if you like, we won't bite :3 You remind me a lot of me when I was in highschool except instead of drawing and writing I played a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot of video games (and still do), and I've never grown tired of electronic music of all forms. I was luckless with girls too, and only had a couple of friends, spending almost every day indoors on the computer, never talking with anyone outside my few friends while at school, feeling like shit, but in reality I'm perfectly ok. I lack some social skills but I improvise  I hope this disjointed spiel of my experiences and views has helped in some way, even if it was a bit all over the place. Feel free to shoot me an e-mail if you want to talk about something. |
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Paper
New Member
Posts: 25
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Post by Paper on Nov 23, 2010 14:08:06 GMT -5
Pretty much everything you've written applies to me. I haven't yet worked out how to get out of this situation, short of drinking a potion to make myself an extrovert.
You could try finding a club/group for one of your hobbies. I tried it and it sort-of worked for a while, in that I was quite friendly with some of the people there, but then the old anxiety kicked in and I haven't been back in months.
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Post by nghtrain36 on Nov 23, 2010 16:51:13 GMT -5
Hello sir, I'm a single 19 y/o male and I can relate to some of the things you've said "Never invited to go anywhere" - yep know all about that "Always been rejected" - I got rejected and humiliated to the point where I just stopped trying "Never dated" - /tick "Wierd hobbies" I'm guessing since you've proclaimed yourself a nerd you're a big player of video-games, or anime watcher, listen to "different" music. Honestly, I found highschool to be a bitch as far as socialising goes, all the different groups of people, social hierarchies n such. It took me until I was 18 before I had my first kiss, and that was when I was drunk and with a drunk girl, and it took until I was 19 to lose my virginity, again, the girl was drunk (but this time I wasn't). Newsflash coming your way: It's nothing special, and if I could I would take my virginity back believe it or not. Things become a lot easier when you stop worrying about girls. If you find an awesome girl, great, give it a go, but other than that, try to relax about this issue. Beating yourself up over it does far more harm than good. So people isolate you because of your hobbies? Fuck them then, just do what you do and find people to connect with elsewhere. No matter what you do, there'll be groups for it on the internet somewhere (drawing - deviantArt, writing - haven't looked into it, music, there's like a million places for music). You know what I did when I felt alone? I just went outside and walked around. I went to the city and just walked around checking all the places out I'd never been before, discovering all the nice cocktail bars, and trying new things (for me, the main thing was just having new cocktails every few days, love me some cocktails, no matter how much shit people give me for it). And hey, I like to look down on people too sometimes, but mainly the bogans of my area who are just.... so typically bogan that it hurts to look at lol Honestly though, take a load off, pull up a chair and get involved here if you like, we won't bite :3 You remind me a lot of me when I was in highschool except instead of drawing and writing I played a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot of video games (and still do), and I've never grown tired of electronic music of all forms. I was luckless with girls too, and only had a couple of friends, spending almost every day indoors on the computer, never talking with anyone outside my few friends while at school, feeling like shit, but in reality I'm perfectly ok. I lack some social skills but I improvise I hope this disjointed spiel of my experiences and views has helped in some way, even if it was a bit all over the place. Feel free to shoot me an e-mail if you want to talk about something. Your completely right, and I have been trying to get out more, but that could be going out alot better. I go to the mall with one of my only friends but lets just say he knows how to pick the wrong one for me. And you did happen to summarize a large portion of my hobbies, everything nerdy and beyond! I sent you a message over youtube as my email never works right. I hope to talk more on here too |
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Post by shyguy20 on Dec 4, 2010 10:50:01 GMT -5
What you put down in your first post applies to me too, execpt of course I'm 20. If you need to talk or anything I'm here also.
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Nlayer
New Member
The Writer
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Post by Nlayer on Dec 4, 2010 23:29:39 GMT -5
When I was 16 (Two years ago, I'm 18 now) I was very much like you. I began to simply despise society and wish everyone would burn in hell. Everyday was worse to me. However, around the time after I turned 17, I decided that way of thinking just wasn't going to do me any good. I know how you feel. Although I can't really say if it'll get completely better (Because I'm still single, shy, etc.), I do know it will get better in it's own way as you grow older. For example, you said this: That is a good step! Places like this are where you will find great communication with other people like you. Many of the friends I have now I met online first. It's a good way to meet people. I honestly didn't think life would get better, but now that I look back, it has. We are all different, but maybe after some time you will find what you want. I know I'm probably not being too helpful by saying "just give it time", but that's what I did in life and it seemed to work well so far. Keep going to sites such as these and making connections as best you can. It'll help. =] Also, a little side note. I don't know if this will make anything better but it might be interesting. Most all of my friends(Also including my brother) found their girlfriends online at places that resemble this place. I personally hardly know many people who have gone out with a girl by meeting them in real life first. So there is hope! |
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Post by nghtrain36 on Dec 10, 2010 7:40:13 GMT -5
When I was 16 (Two years ago, I'm 18 now) I was very much like you. I began to simply despise society and wish everyone would burn in hell. Everyday was worse to me. However, around the time after I turned 17, I decided that way of thinking just wasn't going to do me any good. I know how you feel. Although I can't really say if it'll get completely better (Because I'm still single, shy, etc.), I do know it will get better in it's own way as you grow older. For example, you said this: That is a good step! Places like this are where you will find great communication with other people like you. Many of the friends I have now I met online first. It's a good way to meet people. I honestly didn't think life would get better, but now that I look back, it has. We are all different, but maybe after some time you will find what you want. I know I'm probably not being too helpful by saying "just give it time", but that's what I did in life and it seemed to work well so far. Keep going to sites such as these and making connections as best you can. It'll help. =] Also, a little side note. I don't know if this will make anything better but it might be interesting. Most all of my friends(Also including my brother) found their girlfriends online at places that resemble this place. I personally hardly know many people who have gone out with a girl by meeting them in real life first. So there is hope! I've gotten the give it time thing alot and as of right now things are very slowly starting to pick up. I made a couple new friends in my high school but only a few. One of them is trying as of right now to find me a girl to be with, but even a matchmaker like him is finding it hard. And this kid knows almost everyone in the county. But like you said give it time, and I suppose that's all I can do right now |
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Post by timarends on Dec 12, 2010 23:27:11 GMT -5
Never call yourself antisocial. "Antisocial" means someone who has criminal tendencies, and I'm sure that's not what you mean. Maybe you're not outgoing or extroverted, but I don't think you're "antisocial."
Also, you're not being eaten up by your own lack of socialism, socialism is a political philosophy. Maybe you are being eaten up by your own lack of socializing, however.
Not to be pedantic here, but mastering the terminology helps you to communicate with others as well as sort out the issues more clearly in your own mind. I mean, think of the potential for misunderstanding if he told a counselor that you are "antisocial!"
Everything you describe sounds pretty much like normal, common everyday shyness. Believe me, I think we all know what you're going through.
I would say, don't talk about your hobbies or interests right away if you think that turns girls off. You should be talking more about the other person anyway.
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