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Post by Outcast on Feb 4, 2011 20:48:53 GMT -5
I've been introduced to girls more than a couple of times. I often find myself unsure of what to do, say or how to approach them really. Even if it's just to be friends only. I don't know if it's because i'm not really a sociable person to begin with. But i usually find talking to guys easier, maybe because it's easier to find at least one thing we share some interest in?
So to the other guys out there, how do you approach girls and get to know them? Maybe even get them to be friends?
I would also be interested to know how girls feel when you're being introduced to guys.
Any advice would be appreciated.
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1229
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Post by 1229 on Feb 4, 2011 22:08:28 GMT -5
I guess it depends on the introduction. Are you being introduced in the hopes that there will be a connection? Or just a general "this is my friend ____." I'm pretty sure most people (regardless of their gender) have some kind of common ground.
Especially if the introduction comes from some sort of friend, acquaintance, or family member. It just seems way more intimidating that it actually is (you know for most people... add our personality quirks in there and you've got a whole other issue).
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Post by Outcast on Feb 5, 2011 2:33:36 GMT -5
Well, i think most of the introductions i have been getting lately would probably fall in " the hopes that they're will be a connection" category. But the people involved in the "match-making" would always say, "Why not try and talk to her? Nothing wrong in trying to be friends with her ...and so on." It even more initimidating when some if not most of these girls seem to have a very active social lifestyle. But i've met some quiet girls as well, and i still find it pretty hard to find some sort of connection? ( Sometimes i'm not sure what is this "connection" i'm supposed to be looking for. )
I lead a pretty boring, solitary (perhaps even a little weird) life as most people would say. One of the reasons i guess why i have difficulty connecting with other people. Maybe i've just been out of the game for so long....
There is one girl though, that i think i can be myself with sometimes...but sometimes...i have doubts...i dunno. She does seem to be very kind and understanding when i talk to her.
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1229
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Post by 1229 on Feb 6, 2011 13:18:08 GMT -5
Yep. I know what you mean. For me that "connection" usually means that I want to keep talking. The odd thing about "boring" lives is that most of us think of our own life as being boring. I know I certainly do. But I think that's just because I live it. For instance, if you said "oh, I work here" or "I majored in this or that" it is interesting for someone who doesn't know you. Same as if I said "oh let me tell you about my day or my favorite candy bars  " that would be interesting to you (but not me). See what I mean? At least I would hope I'd be a little interesting to someone who doesn't know me (even if I think my life is boring). |
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gals
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Post by gals on Feb 11, 2011 8:17:04 GMT -5
I I would also be interested to know how girls feel when you're being introduced to guys. Any advice would be appreciated. If I'm being introduced to a guy, of course I respond positively like I smile, wave, say hello or acknowledge the introduction. I don't want to be rude if that guy is respectable and worthy of my respect. Just go for it! Don't be shy and meet people to practice your social skills |
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Post by Outcast on Feb 11, 2011 9:52:19 GMT -5
1229, thanks for your reply. I guess you're right about how someone else's life would probably be more interesting than my own because it's new, different?
Gals, thank you for the feedback and encouragement.
I still have doubts on how to introduce myself though. Don't know really know if what i will do will be appropriate, weird, or just turn her off from the start.
I have seen her profile picture in facebook and i already told her about her friend that's trying to pair us up. And while i really don't have any of my pictures of myself (at all) in facebook, she accepted me as a friend. I'm thinking that isn't much of a big deal coz lots of people accept friends just to be polite or whatever.
Should i try to describe how i look to her when i try to introduce myself to her via messages? Or would that be kinda awkward? Should i ask questions about her interests/hobbies and maybe tell her mine as well? Or would that be kinda like an interview and would feel weird?
Well, things like that come to my mind and i can't help but hesitate.
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gals
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Post by gals on Feb 12, 2011 7:48:21 GMT -5
1 I have seen her profile picture in facebook and i already told her about her friend that's trying to pair us up. And while i really don't have any of my pictures of myself (at all) in facebook, she accepted me as a friend. I'm thinking that isn't much of a big deal coz lots of people accept friends just to be polite or whatever. Should i try to describe how i look to her when i try to introduce myself to her via messages? Or would that be kinda awkward? Should i ask questions about her interests/hobbies and maybe tell her mine as well? Or would that be kinda like an interview and would feel weird? You don't have pictures in FB? Better try uploading even a few especially the profile pic is very important coz that's the first impression in the online world of social media. For ex, if I'm that girl you're trying to add, and I don't personally know you, I would have some doubts in accepting you as a friend. Just put yourself at her position. If you're trying to be careful, (esp some news warns us to be extra careful with FB--esp when accepting people as friends you don't personally know) of course, you may want to know what this person is about based on what you're trying to present yourself online via pics. Try to be presentable and have photos who yourself won't think twice in confirming as a friend. Don't put anything which will scandalize you or turn people (esp girls) off. |
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1229
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Post by 1229 on Feb 12, 2011 11:43:26 GMT -5
In my opinion, I think that might be a little weird. Especially, if you haven't met in person yet. And I agree with gals about trying to be careful on FB. Maybe you could pick up on one of her FB posts or pictures and go from there?
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Post by Outcast on Feb 13, 2011 10:50:12 GMT -5
Thanks for the advices, Gals and 1229. I gave myself time to learn how the privacy settings work on FB so i can upload photos of myself for the girl to see. And then i sent her a message commenting on one of her profile pictures. It was a tv show i also happen to enjoy watching. She replied that she wasn't watching the show anymore but was glad to meet me. She also asked me how i got to know her friend. Of course, i answered her back and asked her about yet another one of her pictures in FB. Anyways, i'm glad the first part is kinda over. I don't know if she's still gonna want to be friends or get to know me...but at least now, people won't be saying i didn't try.  Though it would be nice to get some ideas on what turns off most girls, just to see how slim my chances are, in not turning off a girl. Try to be presentable and have photos who yourself won't think twice in confirming as a friend. Don't put anything which will scandalize you or turn people (esp girls) off. You don't have pictures in FB? Better try uploading even a few especially the profile pic is very important coz that's the first impression in the online world of social media. Yeah, sometimes i envy those people who are so carefree in sharing their pictures to everyone. Sharing all their posts and activities on FB. Having lots of friends while they are it.  |
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" that would be interesting to you (but not me). See what I mean? At least I would hope I'd be a little interesting to someone who doesn't know me (even if I think my life is boring).
