Major Decision

[1229]

There's something going on in my life (nothing dangerous or really bad) and I need to make a choose a path. It's a long story so rather than detail it here, who do you turn to for advice?

[Rose]

Not that I have much experience with making tough decisions...but I'd likely just examine it from all angles, not leaving out any details (no sugar coating it or lying to self), and let it slowly sink in, and listen to my gut feeling.

Depending on what it was, I may anonymously ask people on a forum what they think, for added insight. Sometimes a strangers reflection on something is gonna be more clear than someone who's been thinking about it nonstop, because they haven't been clouded by it. Also it could offer useful insight from another perspective. But like I said it depends on what the thing is... I have no idea what you're talking about so that could be totally wrong.


Good luck.

[1229]

Sometimes a strangers reflection on something is gonna be more clear than someone who's been thinking about it nonstop, because they haven't been clouded by it. Also it could offer useful insight from another perspective. But like I said it depends on what the thing is... I have no idea what you're talking about so that could be totally wrong.

Thanks Zena. That sounds like a good idea. I asked those who are closer to me and I still don't have any clear direction. Who wants to receive a random PM from me?

And the thing is it only seems major to me. My life or anyone else's doesn't depend on it... just my happiness (maybe). And even that sounds too dramatic.

[Sweet Pea]

i would probably ask God for guidance.

[Scotty]

I usually go over with stuff with my family...and within the family mostly with mum.

[Stranger]

Mar 13, 2011 2:44:09 GMT -5 1229 said:

There's something going on in my life (nothing dangerous or really bad) and I need to make a choose a path. It's a long story so rather than detail it here, who do you turn to for advice?

No-one. Just do it! ;D ;D

[spinky]

When i need advice, family comes first, and so does your own personal happiness.

Good luck with whatever path you choose, and make sure it's the right choice for you

[additive]

Family and friends for me. Followed by the internet of course.

PS Scotty, love the avatar. It's really a nice illustration of taichi becoming wuji. If you did taijiquan you'd know what I mean.

[1229]

First of all thanks to everyone for putting their opinions in. I really appreciate it.

Family and friends for me. Followed by the internet of course.

Same for me (in that order too).

Just do it!

I did... sort of. It's like I started going down one path but I keep looking to the other side trying to decide if I should run back and go that way.

make sure it's the right choice for you

I've been trying and trying to figure out what the right choice for me is. If only I could see into the future!

Also, I'd like to point out that I know I'm being way too dramatic over this. If you knew what was really going on you would think "that's it?" I'm going to start thinking of it like that too. Hopefully, it will help me to relax and quit thinking about it.

[Deleted]

It looks like I'm a little late to offer any advice. But I would first ask God for guidance and if things didn't clear up I'd just flip a coin.

Way I see it, the worst decisions are often the ones you refuse to make.

One term I see often in the marketing world (my occupation) is "Ready, Fire, Aim." It means you get things ready enough that you can get started, get started and then fine tune things as you know what's working and what's not.

[1229]

I'd just flip a coin.

It's so weird that you say that because that's how I used to make every other major decision in my life (okay, even the minor ones too). I just couldn't do it this time. Probably because I was so evenly split. Before I'd flip the coin and if I was disappointed in the way the coin landed, I knew in my heart which way to go. I think my heart wasn't in this decision at all. My head was running through internal pros and cons and my heart didn't want to go with either choice.

One term I see often in the marketing world (my occupation) is "Ready, Fire, Aim." It means you get things ready enough that you can get started, get started and then fine tune things as you know what's working and what's not.

I see something similar to that at my work. Only we don't "get ready." Some executive has an idea, we "fire" and then scramble to pick up the pieces.

[Deleted]

Some executive has an idea, we "fire" and then scramble to pick up the pieces.

Yeah I know that one, used to deal with it all the time when I had a real job. But now I'm a freelancer and don't have to deal with executives as bosses anymore, now they're just annoying clients.

[1229]

I'm a freelancer and don't have to deal with executives as bosses anymore, now they're just annoying clients.

You're lucky.

[strawberrysweetie]

ah...I only just now realized this was a poll question :S

I don't think I can pick one.....it does depend on what it is. But I think I alternate between: No one/I don't decide/Internet/Family.....and in that order. Not a good thing, probably, I don't think...so don't follow that! haha

I don't know...I just....I don't feel anyone can tell me what to do. Ultimately, the decision has to come from ME. I have to FEEL like what I'm doing, am about to do is right for ME. (wow, that sounds so self-centered, lol)

I think when I go talk to people about stuff....I just want to hear their opinions, or just have them let me talk it out. I don't expect them to provide me with answers necessarily, but hopefully something that's said to me or said within the conversation will spark a new idea/feeling within me that lights the way...if that makes sense.

So, I think I can be kind of stubborn. I don't tend to want to go to specific people, hoping that they'll tell me what to do. Sometimes people's advice can even annoy me (because that's not necessarily what I want). But that said, there are some people who's opinions I highly respect...and I'd like to follow the advice, but at the same time, my heart just may not be there with the idea, so I can't. I expect only myself knows the true answer, even if it is hidden or doesn't seem apparent at the time!

Depending on what it is, if I do talk to someone....I suppose it's usually my dad, as I do tend to think he knows what the *right* thing to do is. There are just certain things I wouldn't turn to anyone for, though. I tend to keep a whole lot to myself.

And when it comes to the internet...sometimes I just do a random search of my problem...don't necessarily ask anyone, but just...come across things written by people in similar situations, and see if I can get anything out of it. And of course, I come here all the time to rant about my problems...but erm...yeah...ranting is just ranting.

Mar 13, 2011 8:29:58 GMT -5 Rose said:

Not that I have much experience with making tough decisions...but I'd likely just examine it from all angles, not leaving out any details (no sugar coating it or lying to self), and let it slowly sink in, and listen to my gut feeling.

Depending on what it was, I may anonymously ask people on a forum what they think, for added insight. Sometimes a strangers reflection on something is gonna be more clear than someone who's been thinking about it nonstop, because they haven't been clouded by it. Also it could offer useful insight from another perspective. But like I said it depends on what the thing is... I have no idea what you're talking about so that could be totally wrong.

I really do relate to this a lot. I seem to be very good at looking at all different potential sides/outcomes of a situation. Sometimes I think I'm too good at it actually. So much so, that viewing all possibilities...all pros and cons....that it seems like nothing seems to be the "right" choice....and so I end up feeling overwhelmed and end up not deciding anything at all. Which is where I stand right now. And have been for quite a long time now.

Mar 17, 2011 13:53:13 GMT -5 @rylak said:

Way I see it, the worst decisions are often the ones you refuse to make.

One term I see often in the marketing world (my occupation) is "Ready, Fire, Aim." It means you get things ready enough that you can get started, get started and then fine tune things as you know what's working and what's not.

Mar 17, 2011 21:47:16 GMT -5 1229 said:

I see something similar to that at my work. Only we don't "get ready." Some executive has an idea, we "fire" and then scramble to pick up the pieces.

Interesting. Very, very interesting. Something I personally need to take note of and always remember. And hopefully start to follow.

Mar 14, 2011 20:47:44 GMT -5 1229 said:

.
.

I did... sort of. It's like I started going down one path but I keep looking to the other side trying to decide if I should run back and go that way.

make sure it's the right choice for you

I've been trying and trying to figure out what the right choice for me is. If only I could see into the future!

Also, I'd like to point out that I know I'm being way too dramatic over this. If you knew what was really going on you would think "that's it?" I'm going to start thinking of it like that too. Hopefully, it will help me to relax and quit thinking about it.

Mar 17, 2011 21:47:16 GMT -5 1229 said:

It's so weird that you say that because that's how I used to make every other major decision in my life (okay, even the minor ones too). I just couldn't do it this time. Probably because I was so evenly split. Before I'd flip the coin and if I was disappointed in the way the coin landed, I knew in my heart which way to go. I think my heart wasn't in this decision at all. My head was running through internal pros and cons and my heart didn't want to go with either choice.

hmm...I often see my own problems as a constant war between my head and my heart....My head, the logical, rational side, knows what choice is "realistic"....whereas my heart, what I really want...I often view it as too idealistic or unrealistic, and/or don't feel capable enough to do it. But since I don't like what the head thinks, I still end up doing nothing. :S

Anyway, reading these past few quotes from you reminded me of a quote I came across once:

“One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. Which road do I take? she asked. Where do you want to go? was his response. I don't know, Alice answered. Then, said the cat, it doesn't matter.” - Lewis Carroll

So maybe...there is no "right" way to go for you, then?


I find it interesting, that this is a big deal to you, though...and yet, you don't necessarily want either choice? Is there perhaps an alternate, third choice?


If you still want someone to talk to, feel free to PM me, if you want. It seems to me this is probably something nobody else can tell you what is the "right" thing to do, and that the answer has to ultimately come from you, though...but, if it helps, I'll offer a listening ear.

Alternatively...you could ask Chatzy (the chatroom). There's a way to ask it questions and make it answer....it's way better than an 8-ball, at least, imo!

[1229]

Thanks Strawberry!

I think when I go talk to people about stuff....I just want to hear their opinions, or just have them let me talk it out. I don't expect them to provide me with answers necessarily, but hopefully something that's said to me or said within the conversation will spark a new idea/feeling within me that lights the way...if that makes sense.

This makes a lot of sense to me. And ultimately it's what ended up happening.

I find it interesting, that this is a big deal to you, though...and yet, you don't necessarily want either choice? Is there perhaps an alternate, third choice?

Nope. No third choice. It was either you do something or you don't. And it all seems so small now. I know I made a much bigger deal out of this then I should have. But in the end it was really good to get feedback from you guys on how you handle decision making.

Also, I really appreciate the offer to read even more of my ramblings!