Post by msshylove24 on Apr 5, 2013 16:07:55 GMT -5
well i am very shy :-[ and i also have low self esteem and i am very self conscious i mostly walk staring at the ground on occasion i will look up when i am confident but have up and down days with my self confidence cant look into peoples eyes very long. people at my job my two co workers always say hello to me and smile and i smile ;D and say hi back but just hi and continue with work duties and mostly at work i keep to myself and i don't talk much to the other co workers my therapist suggested i should try be friends with the one co worker but i was to shy to ask to become friends with her and my boyfriend noticed i am self conscious as well and one day when i was on cam with him he asked me where my self confidence was i answered him and i said lost and he told me not worry about other people think but my self confidence is still low i moved from the city where i was born and i had one friend there but when i moved we no longer talk anymore so i have no friends out here where i am so that might not with taming my low self confidence and shyness i know but no people out here like me so... no friends does anyone else have low self confidence and shyness problems at the same time if so how do you deal with it
I found that even just practicing conversation helped me a lot. I used to freeze up in social situations and not be able to think of anything to say, but I practiced on mic and cam with online friends. Once I felt like I could come up with things to say and wouldn't be laughed at, I was able to start talking more.
I used to have low self esteem, shyness, and depression. I never could deal with it that well. I think the best thing to do is to work everyday to become more confident and less shy. I know much easier said than done. It took me many years to become confident and less shy, but I was not working on it everyday and I did not have any guidance.
I think it sounds like you are on the right track with the shyness. Continue conversing online and practicing conversing on web cam. Another easy tip is to find something to compliment about the people you know at work. Something like that's a nice shirt or I like your shoes. Its an easy way to start a conversation and you will be helping others feel better about themselves.
I was only able to gain self confidence by trying new things that seemed very daunting at the time. Because I was able to prove to myself that I could do things that I never thought I could do I gained much confidence. I think martial arts is a great confidence builder. I also have taken dance lessons. I never thought I could ever dance but now I get compliments on my dancing. I also have to converse with others while taking dance lessons. I also once had a friend that got me to join our schools drama club. I only intended to help behind scenes because I was way to afraid to be on stage. They were doing on act plays and needed more actors, so one of the directors convinced me to be in there show. Opening night was one of the most scariest moments in my life. I was trembelling. After weeks of practice I was able to get on stage and do my few lines. I know I was noticeably nervous when I gave my lines and was a bad actor. The fact that I overcame my fear and got on stage for the first time gave me confidence to do it again and soon I became a decent actor and comfortable on stage. This also helped with my speaking skills.
I think the biggest breakthroughs in my life have come from pushing myself to do things even when I was afraid to do them. If I had not, I would still be extremely shy and have no confidence. Start with one hobby or activity that you may have been afraid to try. Then take lessons and practice it until you feel confident doing it. Keep doing this until you are confident that if you try something new you will be able to accomplish it with hard work and practice.