Hi

[Howtwo]

Hello, I am new here... I'm not really sure what my problem is lol, but I'm definitely shy, so I guess I fit in here at least . I'm glad to see this place has lots of posts... internet forums are key.

My story? Pretty f-d up, my parents are seperated but not divorced, both of them being a little off the rocker. I moved a lot when I was younger and haven't had any friends for longer than 2 years really... One of my relatives was actually a religious activist who lived as a hermit in a cave lol, hopefully I have better luck. I have a hard time making friends, and an even harder time being in public, I can't walk without my hands in my pockets, and I can't really look anyone in the eye... strange because I'm somewhat imposing. I think i'm finally coming to terms with my issues because I just foubd a bunch of cool websites, apparently others share my problem as well.

I suppose i'm a misfit, I spend so much time alone that it really gets depressing sometimes, but when I'm around people I have no conversation... it's very hard because I can type all day on a forum but when I'm out in the real world I just cringe at the thought of facing my peers. I am also very kinesthetic which I think is one of my problems as well... I like to do and not talk, however I find if I spend a lot of time alone (like 2 days), then I can talk to no end with my friends (still shy in public of course), I guess it is true that introverts need to recharge their batteries, but is there a faster/easier way?

This one helped me a lot (well, I guess we'll find out):
groups.msn.com/SocialAnxietydisordersupportgroup/

Any other good ones/thoughts?

Thanks

[spitzig]

Um, ditto on most of that. My family moved a lot, too. My mother said that I went to 12 schools, although I went to only one high school. Much of this is what is known as a "geographic solution to alcoholism"--everything will be ok, if we leave all our problems here and move there.

My parents have been separated a few times, and I've thought since I was about 10 that a divorce would be good for my mother.

Whether it's public isn't very relevant to me--it's just new people that's the problem making conversation with for me.

Oh, and I don't have any hermits in the family, but my grandparents are fundamentalists and racists and other fun stuff.

Introverts still need friends. They just prefer spending time with a more limited number of friends. What do you mean about a "faster/easier way", though? You could not spend 2 days by yourself, then you might not feel the need to "catch up on filling up your battery".

I recently heard about www.shyrelease.com. It seems to have some good articles on it.

[moogle]

hi!
that was a great first post and you said "kinesthetic". i've never seen anyone use that word. uhm...anyway ^^;
i grew up with the kind of parents that make you wonder whether you'll ever have a successful relationship. they should have gotten divorced soon after i was born, but they didn't and all they do is fight. my dad's bipolar and untreated.
it's good that you have friends. like spitzig, i have problems with new people.. and like you, i have problems being in public.

[Howtwo]

yeah... my family has an alchoholism problem too, I hope I don't catch the bug as I am a T type personality, and i'm headed off to college soon. I think i was transferred between about 7 schools before I got in to highschool, leaving a best friend behind every time, now that I find myself in highschool though, the same thing happens every year or so, and I have no skills with the womens lol, I've had 2 girlfriends in my life, one was exactly like me so we didn't say anything, that lasted about a week (maybe I should try with her again though now that I understand ) I just got her new phone number too , probably too shy to call her though lol, the other one cheated on me with my best friend and is now a crack head, so yeah...

I never really thought about avoidance until I heard the word, and it's amazing how true it is for me, I always make some excuse to leave a social scene to go be by myself... but finding the problem is the first step. It's also nice to have people to talk to anonymously, thanks so much, I think this board will help me immensly.

Does anyone find that they don't know how to walk properly in front of people? I can never swing my arms in a comfortable fashion and I always get comments about this (read: pockets are good), what have you done to change this behavior?

BTW, Moogle was by far my favorite character from final fantasy, little thing is just so rad.

What do you guys do for fun? Since I have all of this spare time, I play the Bassoon, freeride mountain bike, and like to take photos. Also, for some reason I'm really in touch with animals, so I like to hang out with my Golden Retriever a lot, he's exactly like me, people say he looks like me too, lol.

[Twice-Shy]

Welcome to SHY United Howto. The people on this board are absolutely top class - well, except for Moogle. Only joking Moogle.

I have experienced a lot of the same problems that you have been through. That idea of walking with you hands in your pockets through social settings is something I almost always do.

As for fun, well, you can't get much more fun in life than creating the SHY United website and these boards. And if you believe that you'll believe anything. I go to the gym 3 or 4 times a week and I'm just back from a lovely 8 mile run today. I ran the whole 26.2 miles of the Belfast Marathon last month. A like self punishment.

[moogle]

hey! always pickin on the moogle just because i have a pom-pom on my head.

for fun, i read and draw. i used to write short stories a lot, but now i use my ideas for comics. i like video games and anime..
and food. i'm hungry.

[inkysoftwhispers]

I think we used to have a kid's art program over here called Howtwo. Or maybe I made that up. Umm..

I'm so glad you brought up the pockets thing. I always used to do that,especially in winter. I'm a bit more comfortable now. But I still sometimes wear hoodies with long sleeves cos I like to hide my hands in them. Or a ring that I can fiddle with.

Woa,hermit relatives. That's kind of kool. But scary too.

I understand the recharging! I finished my exams last week so I've been going out non-stop recently. Not really had a minute to myself. And I do feel pretty knackered now. Need a couple of days by myself.

Oh I'm hungry too. Need Smarties...

[spitzig]

I'm a lot more likely to be comfortable with a drink in my hand because of that. Also, if I don't know what to say in a conversation, or something, I can use getting another drink as an excuse to leave. That way, it doesn't sound like "I don't want to talk to you.".