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Post by moogle on Sept 16, 2003 19:13:00 GMT -5
this is really a direct quote from my journal, but i wanted to get as many opinions as possible..
yesterday when we took my cat to be put to sleep, and also this morning, my mom cried, but she cried like a baby. i cried about him too, but my tears were silent. for some reason, seeing her cry in that uncontrolled way made me very angry at her.
does anyone have any ideas on why that would make me angry? i'm willing to explore anything.
edit: i didn't express this anger to her, because, well, she was crying, and i felt it was wrong for me to be angry at her if i didn't even understand why.
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Post by ASolitarySoul on Sept 16, 2003 20:09:32 GMT -5
this is really a direct quote from my journal, but i wanted to get as many opinions as possible.. yesterday when we took my cat to be put to sleep, and also this morning, my mom cried, but she cried like a baby. i cried about him too, but my tears were silent. for some reason, seeing her cry in that uncontrolled way made me very angry at her. does anyone have any ideas on why that would make me angry? i'm willing to explore anything. edit: i didn't express this anger to her, because, well, she was crying, and i felt it was wrong for me to be angry at her if i didn't even understand why. What sort of image do you have of your mother? Do you see her as a strong person, a “pillar of strength” that you can lean on in times of difficulty, who can handle adversity well? Solitary Soul All about me -> users3.ev1.net/~solitarysoul/-------------------------------------------------------- |
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Post by moogle on Sept 16, 2003 21:02:02 GMT -5
nope. i see her as a very naive woman, and a pure soul. she actually is quite childlike...
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Post by spitzig on Sept 19, 2003 0:04:53 GMT -5
Well, no emotion is "right" or "wrong". It's a reaction that you have no more control over than bouncing your knee when a doctor hits it with one of those rubber hammers. What you DO have control of is how you react to the emotion. Whether those reactions are actions or just thoughts.
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Post by Boglin on Sept 20, 2003 23:42:18 GMT -5
I've been through kind of the same thing before. I get very irritated with powerful expression of negative emotion. I've kind of picked up two parts to it. First, I tend to be a very empathic person. Not in some psychic mumbo-jumbo sense; I just take on the emotions of those around me. Well, when some gets angry or sad like that, I feel the same way. I don't like feeling this way, so I get upset at them for doing it. The other part I think is jealousy. I tend to keep my emotions hidden, as it sounds like you do (with your silent tears). It's not easy always keeping things under control like that, but I feel that I'm somehow obligated to do it. Well, seeing other people break down like that upsets me because it's something that I don't get to do. Of course, intellectually I know that I could do it and that there's nothing wrong with it, but it just feels wrong. So when I see someone being free with their emotions, it's like they're rubbing it in my face that they can do this and I can't. And then I feel guilty for thinking that they should give hoot about my feelings in their time of personal crisis.  |
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Post by moogle on Sept 22, 2003 17:20:51 GMT -5
a friend of mine got close when he said this:
"you had expended your grief over a period of days and the actual event was almost an anticlimax you were ready for it and all "grieved out" Perhaps you felt that your mothers grief was uncalled for or exaggerated.."
i often think she exaggerates.
i might agree with the jealousy, except that usually i am good at expressing my emotions, and when i was in that little room, i know that if i had felt like crying like a baby, i would have... which leads me to my conclusion:
i felt guilty that she was able to mourn him more drastically than i did. he was my "baby", not hers.
or maybe that is jealousy.. i'm not sure..
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