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Post by Pink Princess on Oct 13, 2003 14:05:44 GMT -5
I justed wanted to let u all know that it is possible to beat shyness!  I'm 16, and from the UK. From the age of about 6 I was mega shy. I got bullied, and my friends always put me down. I couldn't make conversations with people, even with my family sometimes. I guess u know how it feels to be shy, so I'll stop!  I found some new friends who made me feel good about myself, change the bits of my image I didn't like (dying my hair lighter defintely made me more confident-but do whatever works for u!) I got a job in a hairdressers where I HAD to make conversation, and through that I learnt how to keep conversations going! I started college last month and it's so different to high school! I've made loads of new friends, and people think I'm confident! ;D This sounds stupid, but if u pretend to be confident ( which I did) people assume u are, and suddenly, u think u are! Take it from me, it works! And remember...u are funny, gorgeous, clever, and a great person, and dont let people tell u otherwise. ;D |
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Post by Naptaq on Oct 13, 2003 14:16:55 GMT -5
yea girl that was all kewl and stuff..but u know "we" have a ..well at least i got a problem with poor social skills n stuff "godd-a-m-n-i-t*, stop fealin so-so-so-so ugh i lost words" "stupid, dumb, pathetic etc" "shhhh" "?" "if i could know somethin" "me knowin' somethin? no *ucking way" "try" "that's easier to say then do so.." "i think i won't do it right?" "yep" "maybe ur right.." "i am" "...however u may be wrong" "ugh"  "no try to be positive.."    lol and now me and myself have to shut the f_uck up "yea" "shhhh"  |
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Post by johnadams on Oct 13, 2003 17:01:46 GMT -5
Wow, Naptaq. Either incredibly harsh or mildly humorous response there.
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Post by spiridon on Oct 13, 2003 21:25:12 GMT -5
Apparently, you can never "beat" or "cure" your shyness. What you can do is tell your shyness: "Step aside for a moment while I talk to people." Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
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Post by spitzig on Oct 14, 2003 1:27:21 GMT -5
Apparently, you can never "beat" or "cure" your shyness. What you can do is tell your shyness: "Step aside for a moment while I talk to people." Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I strongly disagree with that. I don't think "beating it" presents the right image, though. Letting it disappear seems better. |
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Post by Pink Princess on Oct 14, 2003 11:54:01 GMT -5
No, I like beating it. It makes me feel like I've won. And yeah, I stutter too. I just laugh or carry on with what I'm saying. You're not the only ones to mess up while you're speaking. Watch 'confident' people, and I bet they mess up too, it's just they carry on and you don't notice. I'm just saying, don't think that you're a victim of shyness, you can overcome it. You don't have to believe me, but just try pretending to be confident when you go somewhere new and where no-one knows you (like on holiday). I get re-lapses all the time, when I think everyone hates me and laughs at me behind my back. Just smile and ask questions (it saves you having to talk!)
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Post by spitzig on Oct 14, 2003 22:10:51 GMT -5
Oh, I wasn't disagreeing with you. I just meant for a "permanent defeat", I don't know if "beating it" is the best analogy. Everyone I've heard talk about problems with shyness, it's rooted in self-esteem. So, a "permanent defeat" seems to mean fixing the self-esteem problem. At which point, the shyness would just go away.
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Post by cutee on Nov 16, 2003 15:55:40 GMT -5
There is absolutely no need to attempt to beat shyness - shyness is your personality, it is you. I am and always have been incredibly shy, I have experienced and am experiencing the disadvantages of being shy, some of which are: finding it hard to make friends, feeling left out, unable to talk in front of new people - definately not in front of groups of people, stuttering, shaking - I know what it feels like and it can be horrible at times. Some of those "louder" people can also be horrible towards you if they figure out you are shy, by picking on you in front of groups of people and making an example of you, which can be really hard to deal with because it becomes hard to defend yourself. I also find that other people often get the impression that you are boring, humour less, or stuck up, just because you don't talk much - but you know that you are not any of those things, you are just - shy.
BUT shyness has great advantages as well - it is a very attractive quality to have, other people may recognise you are shy and really will like it (especially the opposite sex). It may take time for you to notice, but soon enough you will find out that it is very, very attractive (has also been proven by psychologists). To me, this advantage alone is great and I wouldnt want to change it.
At school it is very hard being shy, but as soon as you are older and start work / uni etc, you will notice that you have a great quality, trust me... I know!
It's kind of cool being shy! If you are shy, you are lucky!
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Post by glenn miller on Nov 16, 2003 23:25:30 GMT -5
it is hard to do what some of u say. i have been shy since i was little. and probebly will always be.
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2shy
New Member
Posts: 5
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Post by 2shy on Nov 17, 2003 0:04:06 GMT -5
There is absolutely no need to attempt to beat shyness - shyness is your personality, it is you..... I also find that other people often get the impression that you are boring, humour less, or stuck up, just because you don't talk much - but you know that you are not any of those things, you are just - shy...BUT shyness has great advantages as well - it is a very attractive quality to have, other people may recognise you are shy and really will like it (especially the opposite sex). It may take time for you to notice, but soon enough you will find out that it is very, very attractive (has also been proven by psychologists). To me, this advantage alone is great and I wouldnt want to change it. ...It's kind of cool being shy! If you are shy, you are lucky! I suppose it depends on the degree of shyness. God forbid that the terror I feel when I have to walk into a impersonal department store, reflects my personality or that I'm lucky to not be able to go out my front door if the neighbours are chatting on the stairs. As to it being attractive to the opposite sex, yeah, the boys might like the demure girl a lot but if the girl cannot bring herself to make eyecontact or if she backs off when they start a conversation, it does not help her much. (Note to self: don't start ranting now, 'tis not nice) |
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Post by CaryGrant on Nov 17, 2003 12:45:07 GMT -5
Interesting thread; thanks for starting it, PP.
I suppose if you don't feel your shyness is causing you to miss out on opportunities in life or limiting who you could be, then it's ok to continue to be shy. Otherwise, while there are advantages to being shy (perceptiveness, ability to empathise, good listener, etc.), there are also advantages to being more outgoing. I want the advantages of both without the fear that comes with being shy.
Also, I recently realised that the root of my low self-confidence is years of shyness, which has caused self-defeating behavior. I have tried for years to become more confident, only to discover that confidence is built indirectly. Meaning, do things that make you feel good about yourself, and you become confident in those areas. So conquering shyness builds confidence, because you overcome your deepest, darkest fears in doing so.
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Post by Robert on Nov 26, 2003 1:36:14 GMT -5
"I found some new friends who made me feel good about myself" I'm happy to here that Pink Princess, your friends are a rare commodity. "I got a job in a hairdressers where I HAD to make conversation, and through that I learnt how to keep conversations going!" Good for you. You sound as though you are on the right track. Keep it up. Robert "This sounds stupid, but if u pretend to be confident ( which I did) people assume u are, and suddenly, u think u are! Take it from me, it works!" Perhaps you started out pretending, but in the end have found true confidence. "And remember...u are funny, gorgeous, clever, and a great person, and dont let people tell u otherwise." I just have one thing to say... YOU GO GIRL!!! ;D Robert |
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I'm 16, and from the UK. From the age of about 6 I was mega shy. I got bullied, and my friends always put me down. I couldn't make conversations with people, even with my family sometimes. I guess u know how it feels to be shy, so I'll stop! 
I found some new friends who made me feel good about myself, change the bits of my image I didn't like (dying my hair lighter defintely made me more confident-but do whatever works for u!) 
