Post by lookingin on Oct 26, 2003 18:45:32 GMT -5
As the name that I selected should indicate, I am for the most part shy. I have recently decided to begin an activity of 'finding myself (or should it be, my self?)'
I have a desire to find out who I really am. I thought about starting with a Myers-Briggs personality test. I tried a few brief ones on internet, but even after looking over the many possibilities, it would seem that at this point I can surely narrow the search down to Introvert (NOT extrovert), not sure on the intuitive/sensing, thinking/feeling, percieving/judging. I figure either by doing it myself, I have this amazingly big two-by-four in my eye (inability to do it in any truly objective style), or the test suffers severely on it's own from asking the subject to ask from a 'petri dish', 'unencumbered self' point of origin, and all too often I associate my answers to work or sometimes home situations (what I have of a life).
After reading some of the hallmark personality traits associated with INTP, INTJ, INFP, INFJ types (and maybe ISTP), I decided to begin with writing a history about my past, and noting how things that I have chosen to do conform to these personality types. What I have found, however, is how the sheer act of doing this kind of writing has made me think of WHO I AM: it seems to be good therapy in itself! I start to ask those questions: How DO I learn new things? What DO I like to do? Questions like these tend to encourage me to TRY to remove myself, discover my self, and after establishing those, accepting or rejecting aspects of my self and finding a path for desireable growth. I guess at this point I'm just so eager to find that starting point (sad to say, a 'label', where I can confidently say 'I AM'), but I do not intend on stopping there (in fact, as I go on I am finding that most of us share MANY of these labels that the Myers-Briggs seems to pit against one another, it's not necessarily 'either-or'). So my mission seems clear: Find, Accept, Plan, Grow. Did I leave any thing out? Wish me luck on my 'journey'!
Oh, a little about me: childhood of neglect and abuse, much counseling in early teens. College educated, but took uncertain (and underpaid) career path. Work around persons with special needs (mental redardation, CP), so for the most part I get to work one-on-one, exept in the afternoons, when I lead groups of 10 plus people at a time (the most taxing part of the day, I think). Single, 32, I find myself spending weekends either playing on the computer, reorganizing my lonely single room that I rent, or cycling or working on bikes to 'decompress' from work (you now see my introvertive side?). I start out days energized, for I have lost much weight by cycling to-and-from work for the last year. After ten hours of work, I come home mentally DRAINED, maybe due to the repetitiveness of the job(?). I have been thinking (like I do a lot of) about finding a 'mate', but in the process decided that I must rediscover and accept my SELF before TRYING to find someone compatible (although I am confident enough to say that they should be intelligent and understanding!)
I have a desire to find out who I really am. I thought about starting with a Myers-Briggs personality test. I tried a few brief ones on internet, but even after looking over the many possibilities, it would seem that at this point I can surely narrow the search down to Introvert (NOT extrovert), not sure on the intuitive/sensing, thinking/feeling, percieving/judging. I figure either by doing it myself, I have this amazingly big two-by-four in my eye (inability to do it in any truly objective style), or the test suffers severely on it's own from asking the subject to ask from a 'petri dish', 'unencumbered self' point of origin, and all too often I associate my answers to work or sometimes home situations (what I have of a life).
After reading some of the hallmark personality traits associated with INTP, INTJ, INFP, INFJ types (and maybe ISTP), I decided to begin with writing a history about my past, and noting how things that I have chosen to do conform to these personality types. What I have found, however, is how the sheer act of doing this kind of writing has made me think of WHO I AM: it seems to be good therapy in itself! I start to ask those questions: How DO I learn new things? What DO I like to do? Questions like these tend to encourage me to TRY to remove myself, discover my self, and after establishing those, accepting or rejecting aspects of my self and finding a path for desireable growth. I guess at this point I'm just so eager to find that starting point (sad to say, a 'label', where I can confidently say 'I AM'), but I do not intend on stopping there (in fact, as I go on I am finding that most of us share MANY of these labels that the Myers-Briggs seems to pit against one another, it's not necessarily 'either-or'). So my mission seems clear: Find, Accept, Plan, Grow. Did I leave any thing out? Wish me luck on my 'journey'!
Oh, a little about me: childhood of neglect and abuse, much counseling in early teens. College educated, but took uncertain (and underpaid) career path. Work around persons with special needs (mental redardation, CP), so for the most part I get to work one-on-one, exept in the afternoons, when I lead groups of 10 plus people at a time (the most taxing part of the day, I think). Single, 32, I find myself spending weekends either playing on the computer, reorganizing my lonely single room that I rent, or cycling or working on bikes to 'decompress' from work (you now see my introvertive side?). I start out days energized, for I have lost much weight by cycling to-and-from work for the last year. After ten hours of work, I come home mentally DRAINED, maybe due to the repetitiveness of the job(?). I have been thinking (like I do a lot of) about finding a 'mate', but in the process decided that I must rediscover and accept my SELF before TRYING to find someone compatible (although I am confident enough to say that they should be intelligent and understanding!)
