Am I insane?

[spitzig]

I've got a friend who is schizophrenic(maybe schizo-affective?--not sure which exactly either is). He sees things. Fairies(good guys) and demons(bad). Had a "protector" figure for several years, who he didn't know wasn't a real person. He heard voices telling him to run into traffic as a kid. All kinds of stuff like that He's on anti-psychotics, and is fine. It means no alcohol, but he writes poetry that I think is good--not that I'm an expert in the matter.

I've heard that a lot of major literary works are suspected to have been written by schizophrenics. Something about the patterns of writing, and how they alternate.

[AlmondEyes]

fdaxjihad i think maybe you need more sex. are you getting enough fukky-fukky? kisses

[FDAXJihad]

Thank you spitzig, that was the sort of constuctive feedback I was looking for.

So... literary works... that's interesting. Thanks for the suggestion.

Maybe I could write horror stories? I have some pretty disturbing thoughts, but some people like reading that sort of stuff right?

I'm just really worried about what my other personality does. As I said, I've found blood on my shirts before, which didn't look like mine (at least I had no wounds were it could have come from.) I burned the shirts, but I'm scared. What if I, you know... fill in the blanks. I'm actually really peaceful and don't even eat animals, as I don't like the idea of seeing them suffer.

Thanks again.

[FDAXJihad]

Should I go to the police?

[Smiley]

Wat does ur Mom say to do? My Mom said to go to therapay my pop didnt say nuthing. u sound nice i think the police wud lauhg at u or lock u up or sumthing bad.

[Smiley]

i woke up real early today i had bad dreams last nite do u get this 2?

[FDAXJihad]

Thanks smiley. You're the best

I don't have nightmares, really. I just wake up some morning missing the last day or two. I assume that is when my 2nd personality takes over?
I think maybe I should have someone watch me, see if I change. Because I'm shy, I don't meet alot of people, so nobody has come back to me: "Man, when I met you on the street yesterday, you were, like, really strange. Everything allright." I think observing me would help. But as I said, I live alone. (I have a dog, a huge Labrador, almost pony sized. He's my best friend.)

I wonder if I turn into something evil, like that guy Edward Norton plays in "Primal Fear"?

[FDAXJihad]

By the way, I'm alone in my apartment, that's why I'm can post so quickly. I don't like going out.

[Smiley]

u got ur own appartment wow! u must be older like maybe 18 even 19 rite? and ur own dog 2 thats grate i wish ihad a dog agin but mom says no coz of wat happn las ttime we had a dog but i promiss it never hapen again. wats the name of ur dog?

[Smiley]

i gotta go i thnk i here my pop

[FDAXJihad]

My dogs name is Shadowblade. He's 2 years old. he's awesome.

[Smiley]

my freind pedro sez ur dogs name is Karnak why r u making up a new name don't u like ur doggy?

[FDAXJihad]

Huh?

Who is pedro? And what's Karnak... anywhow. I've slept for a while. I wrote down the time when I went to bed, so judging from that, there was no "Transformation" (not sure what else to call it)between now and then.
I now write down virtually every turning point in my day, so I can go back later and see if there are any gaps. This is quite clever, I think. Too sad I don't have anyone watching me, they might spot something I miss.

Thank you for listening.

[Valerie]

Hi people. Let me tell you something. If you are seriously schizophrenic, you need to get help immediately. This is not something to play around with and joke about. It is a very serious mental illness that can be controlled with therapy and medication. Please get help if you are having these problems.

[FDAXJihad]

Hello Marie.

Honestly I'm a bit scared about the therapy thing. Bad memories...
What sort of therapy do you think would be involved? Electroshocks? They did that to me when I was a kid (back then the whole psychiatry thing was still huge).
I really don't want to go through that again. I read that they actually do electroshocks for schizophrenic, hoping to jar the person into one personality and cement him there?

As someone else suggested, maybe I can use this in a really creative way. I could write a book: "Walking the Dark Side" What do you think?

NapTaq, why do I remind you of that movie "Beautiful Mind"? I'm not beautiful, and my mind is, well, messed up, to say the least. It's not like I'm as brilliant as John Nash or anything. I mean I would like to be... but haha that's just wishful thinking.