hi, im new =0)

[cubby]

Hiya, this seems a cool site, im laura, 19. i suffer from extreme shyness, and find it impossible to talk to anyone, i feel stupid and feel as if everyone is laughing at me. In the past 2 years i have lost three jobs due to my shyness, and i think i will lose my new job soon, as people think im ignorant and stuck up, when really im scared to talk, or ask a question or walk into the room when there is lots of people in. I HATE the way i am, and i feel very alone, as no one understands me, i also suffer from OCD, anxity, and im paranoid alot, at one point i thought it was schitzotypal i had, im not sure what i have, but would love to chat to others who understand......
Thanks for taking the time to read this,
Laura x

[Wayne]

I understand and I wish I could say, "don't worry, things will get better". However, from my own experience things only seem to get worse.

[MissAnxiety]

Hi Laura . You can chat with me if you like. Although I'm not "in the same shoes" as you, I understand how you feel. I have some of the same problems. Sorry to hear about your job situations . I don't know what to tell you about that since I've never faced that. I could give some advice but it may not help since I don't know the whole situation. Well anyway, talk to you later.

[MissAnxiety]

Wayne--it does seem like that, doesn't it.

[glenn miller]

hi laura
i understand how u feel. i am not the same as u. but i have hard time getting jobs because im so shy. i have a hard time looking people in the face for interviews. and i dont talk that much. it is real hard.

[CaryGrant]

Hi Laura,

Whether it gets better or worse depends upon the actions you take, I think. In some areas of my life I've grown more confident over the years (I'm 42), in others less so.

Looking back, I realise that the reason I've improved in some areas is because I did things to move myself out of my comfort zone, until I made a new, expanded zone. I wasn't even conscious of doing it. It's as though I got sick of seeing myself as a failure in these areas and my subconscious mind took over and helped me out.

Now I'm making a HUGE effort to consciously expand my comfort zone in areas I've neglected. By HUGE, I mean that I'm making myself make small moves toward being more comfortable in currently uncomfortable situations. Even small steps will get you where you want to go if they're in the right direction.

[Robert]

"i feel stupid and feel as if everyone is laughing at me."

I used to feel that way, plus I thought that everyone was staring at me.

"In the past 2 years i have lost three jobs due to my shyness, and i think i will lose my new job soon, as people think im ignorant and stuck up, when really im scared to talk, or ask a question or walk into the room when there is lots of people in."

I can commiserate. The outgoing have a tendency to see shyness as stuck up. They just do not understand the fear of social situations that shy people feel.

"I HATE the way i am, and i feel very alone, as no one understands me,"

Honestly cubby, I understand... and I wish that I could do something to comfort you.

You are not alone cubby. There are many people that feel the exact same way you do. I guarantee you.

I do understand you. If there is anything that I can do for you, don't hesitate to ask.

"i also suffer from OCD, anxity, and im paranoid alot, at one point i thought it was schitzotypal i had,"

My wife has suffers from some of the psychiatric problems that you describe.

She to this day finds hope in helping others with depression, anxiety, bipolar, and the like.

In fact we are taking in a woman with psychiatric problems, because her halfway house closed down.

Cubby, you may find hope in helping others through there hard times. When you help someone else, you will find that in return you your self are helped. I don’t know if that made since. I will expand upon this if you wish.


Robert