siri
New Member
Posts: 19
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Post by siri on Nov 17, 2003 5:16:44 GMT -5
hi im new here!! im belle 20 years old  . i think im old enough not to be shy but i really feel shy a lot of times especially when i meet new people. i dont seem to know how to continue a conversation. these really happen coz when someone introduces himself to me i dont know how to continue the conversation after the introduction..and also i feel shy talking infront a lot of people..but my course in college requires me to face different kinds of person... can sometime give me tips to lessen better yet my shyness to be gone.... |
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2shy
New Member
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Post by 2shy on Nov 17, 2003 10:44:21 GMT -5
I was the same when I started university. In about the third lecture they told us that our final exams would be oral only. I was scared out of my wits for a whole year, but when the time came, I managed.
You have the ability, I sure, it is just that it takes us social fobics such a lot of effort and energy to perform, that we tend to only attempt it when it is a do or fail the course situation! (Weird as it may seem, and contrary to what I expected each time, I almost always did better in the orals than in the written exams.)
The other thing to remember is that it takes two to have a conversation - maybe the other person is not as shy as you are, but obviously he/she does not have the skills to keep the conversation going either! Just don't give up, try try again. (And may I add that I don't always want to take my own advice. Sometimes if the situation is too much, it is too much. Then I go away and do the trying again some other time.)
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Post by Twice-Shy on Nov 17, 2003 10:46:14 GMT -5
Welcome to SHY United Siri! Even though I am almost thirty, I still go through cycles were I feel incredibly self-conscious. A tip I use for keeping conversations going is to concentrate really hard on what they are saying and take it from there.
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siri
New Member
Posts: 19
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Post by siri on Nov 17, 2003 22:51:09 GMT -5
hi 2shy and shane. thank you for the advice... ;D ;D2shy i had the same experience about the oral exam. i had difficulty or had not answered the question so i had to take the same subject the following semester. the second time i took the exam i was able to answer the question... a lot of people are giving me advice and im trying them all out...now i dont get much nervous taking an oral exam.  |
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Post by Boblouie58 on Nov 19, 2003 0:39:02 GMT -5
Siri- I was more shy than anyone I know. It took me 6 years to get thru college as I would get so "shook up" if the professor could even pronounce my name. Anyway, I was so shy that I barely opened my mouth in class. Even to this day, I have shyness problems even tho I am Chairman of 2-3 boards, etc. Eventually, you figure out...that 99% of other people may be a bit shy but they aren't going to bite you. To carry on a conversation...with at least an adult..."ask what they think about the weather"? Its a simple question..but everyone has an opinion on it. Getting over being shy I'm sure is what most of us..including those we feel aren't shy, have dealt with all our lives. Good luck, b/c if I can do it, you can too!  |
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Post by Robert on Nov 26, 2003 0:15:06 GMT -5
Dang good question siri.
"i dont seem to know how to continue a conversation."
Ah, the dreaded breaking the ice scenario. This can be problematic.
What I do after the usual intro is ask some questions like, do you have kids (this is a good one to get a parent going), what line of work are you in.
From there you can branch out on your questions. This is a dynamic process and depends on the social situation you are in like; work, club, school, bar, family gathering, or a gathering at a friends home.
You need to adapt to the social situation that you are in and then try to ask questions that match the occasion.
There is no time limit on striking up a conversation with some one, but there are a few things to watch for like; if the conservation is going well then flow with it, if the conversation is going flat then graciously excuse your self by saying ( it was a pleasure to meet you) ... but I must... use the bathroom, refill my glass, check on my child, talk to ___ (you fill in the name).
I hope this helps some.
Robert
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siri
New Member
Posts: 19
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Post by siri on Dec 1, 2003 23:36:23 GMT -5
hi Boblouie and robert for the good advices you gave me... id try to do it when i start a conversation... i hope i can overcome this or maybe lessen it... thank you guys ;D  |
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Post by robini123 on Dec 4, 2003 6:11:51 GMT -5
"hi Boblouie and robert for the good advices you gave me... id try to do it when i start a conversation... i hope i can overcome this or maybe lessen it... thank you guys" NP my friend. The process to overcome shyness can be a long road, but I overcame my extreme shyness and say if I can do it, then anyone can. I'm pulling for you Siri. Robert |
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. i think im old enough not to be shy but i really feel shy a lot of times especially when i meet new people. i dont seem to know how to continue a conversation.
