Hello. I'm New here.

[Overwhelmed]

Hi, I just wanted to say that I am shy but not in the way most people are. It's weird because I can and have ask(ed) girls out before, but the hard part for me is actually getting to KNOW them before I ask them out. I'm 17 and when I talk to my parents all they can ever say is: "Don't worry you have plenty of time to date." I did have one girlfriend but that was for only 3 days because her friends were so mean to me. Also, when I finally asked this girl i've like for so long out, she and her friend laughed at me and said : "Umm I don't think so."

I have recently contemplated suicide, but I felt that if I wait and join the ARMY and go to IRAQ maybe I can die a more justifiable death and my parents would understand. Im a very sensitive person, I can be outgoing but when someone negative gets in my way, I retreat back to my shell for a looong time. My parents are always telling me to get out more and that everyone my age should be out chasing girls. My dad is against me when I isolate myself, he demands that I leave and go to a social place. I wish my parents were a little more understanding.

[CaryGrant]

It's not fun being a shy/hypersensitive guy, is it? There are girls who will like you (I'm over 40 and have dated and been married) but it can be a numbers game to an extent.

Imagine it thusly:
A. You: Model-like looks, sculpted physique, impeccable and expensive taste in clothing, clearly wealthy, and oozing confidence.

B. You: Average looks, average figure, haven't paid attention to discovering what your taste in clothing is (or what suits you), average money, low confidence.

The outcome:
A: Has no problem getting women, many of them stunningly attractive and desperate to jump into bed with him. Unfortunately for A in this case, he is not a shallow cad, but actually a very decent guy. More unfortunately, the vast majority of the women throwing themselves at him are shallow and not at all decent. Despite all his advantages, A has a very difficult time finding a decent girl.

B: This describes the majority of the male population, with the exception that many men (though I suspect 50% at most) have higher confidence when it comes to women. I should also point out that the majority of men is married or has a girlfriend.

So...the point is...nobody has it easy? Not sure what point I was trying to make. Seriously, it is a numbers game. You ask women out, some say yes, some say no. If you stop at one no....

I am working on getting better at two things that might also help you:
1. Reading signs that a woman is interested in me: easy flow of talking, leaning in, touching, some nervousness, etc.
2. Not taking rejection personally. A woman flirting with you might like to be asked out as an ego boost, but is not actually interested in going out.

Sorry for the long post, I hope you get some use out of it! Both 1 and 2 require focusing on the woman, not on yourself, which is a good way to reduce your own anxiety, too.

[Boblouie58]

Overwhelmed- first things first. Girls your age are basically like you in that they are finding out who they are? You are about the age of discovery of who you are and what you want to do in your young life, as are girls.
Dating anyone is about finding someone who likes some of the things you do. Remember, the more guys or gals you know there are more opportunities to do things with them.
Call anyone up and ask them to go do "something". Most people don't want to stay at home but be out to either "be seen" or to go out with their friends. If you don't feel you have any friends...make it a point to go meet someone to be a friend.
I have 2 best friends from college and one best friend since I married. I contact the college friends every month and the other best friend daily.

Most times until, you get some good friends, you will have to make yourself go meet people to be your friends. Friends don't just happen, you have to work at making friends.
I have been probably more shy than you ever thought of being shy but I have worked "my tail off" to overcome most of my shyness. In fact, I truly believe that most shyness is a "state of mind" and once you get past some of this feeling you will be better for it.

Good luck, as if I made it through periods of disappointment, I know you can.

[EdgedInBlue]

hello, Overwhelmed

Boblouie is absolutely right. You don't have to go chasing girls if you don't want to...it's not like there's a deadline for this kind of thing.

Before you establish a relationship with a girl, you need to figure yourself out and apparently, you're not quite there. Undoubtedly, there's plenty of social pressure, but unless you've found out who you are, you're going to have a terribly difficult time handling yourself and another person.

[hmmm]

Okay. I took her out and we went to eat and then came to my house to watch a movie. We pretty much did everything BUT sex and I mean everything. She's Pretty wild and I get the feeling shes not someone I want to get serious with, but I don't want to break up with her. She gives some mixed signals, like I think she likes me because she told me to call her when I got home from taking her back and I couldnt because I had to go with my mom to the mall for something. I know have this knawing fear of meeting her friends and what people will think when they see me with her. I'm so Sensitive and all. What would you suggest I do to get over this feeling of being with her around kids my age?

[Overwhelmed]

I meant to say SHE called me right after I took her home and sounded like she had a good time with me, its hard to tell because she is so much more experienced than I am and she may not have the patience to let me come out of my shell unless she TRULY likes me which would be nice. Each date gets a little bit easier for me. I get extremely shy though, when Im around people my age like 17 and with her, hasnt really happened yet since school hasnt started. I guess im just insecure but I've never been the talkative type. Like, when I go back to school and people see me holding her hand, I get very insecure as to what they think which is so painful to me.
Shes currently on a ski trip until January 2nd and I really miss her. Please E-mail me to tell me how I may overcome my insecurities of what her friends/people my age think about us going out.

[e-mail]

[Alex]

Consider this, are you prepared to take a life? Your life will change completely once you kill someone. Plus, you won't be the same if you make a pal in the army and then see him blow up or shot in front of you.