how to ask out a shy guy?

[kel]

I have the opposite problem. I fancy this guy from work but he is incredibly shy. Any advice on how to ask him out without him running away?

[unionjackattack86]

When you say ask out, do you mean on a date or as in a relationship? if its for a relationship, then if you don't know the guy that well and he doesn't know you that well; then I wouldn't advise you to ask him to be your partner because he will probably refuse straight away.
If this is the case, just ask him out on a date to a Cinema or a Restaruant or somewhere, Cinema's probably better considering he's shy as he won't have to talk as much.
Once you've got to know each other better via dates, then you could ask him out, or if you already know each other well enough then there's various ways you could ask him out.
At first you could just flirt with him [providing your not too shy yourself] to give him a hint that you like him then you could ask him out so he would be more or less expecting it. Another way you could ask him, which i've recommended in another topic, is by a card or an email or something, that way its alot easier for both of you.
Asking him for a date whether you know him well or not is probably the best option, because you could meet up a few times and become comfortable with each other, and if all goes well, go in for the kill

[spitzig]

"Just flirting" migth be a bad idea. A lot of shy people don't pick up those signals, or don't trust their interpretation of them. I can't speak for others, but I much prefer directness. The last girl I was interested in had to kiss me. Up to that point, I'd been too nervous to even ask for her number, partly because I didn't trust my interpretation of her signals.

I can't imagine running away from a woman, though. Someone showing interest in me is always a compliment for me. I like compliments.

[mugatea]

Hey Kel,

Just make him feel safe, hun. I'm shy and that makes me feel vurnerable and I guess I fear being humiliated and stuff so I feel that I would need to feel safe enough with you.

Hey shy peeps I think are very self critical so if you ask him out you'll very much be flattering but he may at the same time feel exposed and maybe even scared.

I guess if you take him out somewhere where there are not too many peeps so his shyness wont be challenged, woul dmaybe be good.

Good luck and take care

Jamie
xx

[spitzig]

mugatea said:

I guess if you take him out somewhere where there are not too many peeps so his shyness wont be challenged, woul dmaybe be good.

This may mean actually handling the conversation himself, which he may not be good at, depending upon how he's shy. I don't know how to converse with people I barely know.

[mike]

hey, i am a shy guy and i've had girls ask me out before and i just freeze . The problem with them was they just went too fast and just ask me out. take it slow show that you like him first see how he re-acts

[Twice-Shy]

Good advice, Mike

[Venus]

Guest-mike said:

hey, i am a shy guy and i've had girls ask me out before and i just freeze . The problem with them was they just went too fast and just ask me out. take it slow show that you like him first see how he re-acts

Are you saying it might not be obvious to him that he is already liked because the girl asked him out?

[spitzig]

Guest-Venus said:

Are you saying it might not be obvious to him that he is already liked because the girl asked him out?

That's not the only time people ask each other out. Sometimes (as far as I hear) people ask each other out just because they are attractive.

A refusal would not neccessarily indicate disinterest, though. It also could indicate fear of rejection--after the person DOES get to know them.