First post

[jon1972us]

Hi everyone. I am a new member. I am 30 and divorced for 2 years now. My problem is I married the first person I fell in love with. She asked me out and everything. In other words she chased me so I never had to ask her out or anything.

With me being painfully shy, where is a good place to meet ladies besides clubs and bars because I don't drink. How do I approach them and what do I say?

Do women appreciate being approached or do they reject you if you try thinking you are a creep. As you can read I have a lot of questions but would appreciate any advice. Thanks

[unionjackattack86]

hello, other than in clubs and bars you could meet ladies at work, college or some form of a club; or maybe even online although thats clutching at straws. You can meet them anywhere really, their guranteed to be in every shopping centre you go.
Id guess women would appreciate being approached as its mainly expected by men to do it and as long as you don't approach them with a sleazy chat up line, I don't think they would mind being approached.
You will get the odd few who will be ignorant but they won't all be like that so don't be put off by the ignorant ones.
As for what to say, it all depends really, if your in a shop or something you could ask for help on choosing to buy something or just comment on something and if they reply friendly then keep the conversation going and start talking.

[spitzig]

Try some common interest group or social group. I've had a little success with a poetry group. I also tried a volunteer/social group called the Jaycees. I tried a dance group, but I think I was too shy for that, because of the way it was set up.

Some group that meets regularly.

Also, I've had local bars that have regulars suggested. Didn't want to drink that much, personally. Also, coffee shops, often have regulars, if they are the "Bohemian" style. Starbucks has killed most of them off, though.

[NewOrleansLady]

Most ladies are flattered by a man approaching them. It's best to go the casual route. If you find somebody that you want to ask out, start off with a coffee date or something along those lines that dosen't require the two of you spending the whole day together. If you know her well enough than a longer date would be fine, like dinner and/or a movie. Otherwise, just keep it friendly at first, even keeping the word "date" out of the equation if that would make you feel more comfortable. We all know that ladies like to shop. I once had a guy ask me to go to the mall with him so I could help pick out some winter outfits. And, he bought me lunch for helping him. This didn't feel like a date and it made it very easy to find conversation while I was with him. Summer is on it way, this would be a good time to do something like that.

[jon1972us]

Thanks for all the advice everyone. So its ok to ask a woman out who you are not friends with? Like there is this girl that works at a mechanics shop that I take my car. She doesnt know me from Adam and she doesnt have a ring on so she must be single. But with my luck she is attached.

I guess my problem is just going for it and take that jump. I have a real fear of failure and rejection.

[spitzig]

jon1972us said:

So its ok to ask a woman out who you are not friends with?

Most people do that. Most people seem to constantly be going out with people they barely know. Coffee, or just an exchange of phone numbers might be wise at first.

[NewOrleansLady]

Just go for it, Jon. If anything, you wil make her day, and that s always nice. Hopefully she is single. Let us know what you decided to do. GOOD LUCK!!!