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Post by moggymoll on Oct 6, 2003 20:58:17 GMT -5
I recently broke up with my boyfriend for the second time. I love him more than anything but he was more damaging lately than anything. He rarely talked to me anymore or ceased putting in any effort. I feel like he did a complete personality change in the last two months and now I keep questioning myself because I deeply loved the guy he was before this change came. It doesn't help that he's over 300 miles away, I'm in medical school and he works and goes to school as well. I guess I'm just worried that it was something I did to cause his change. Even though he stopped putting in effort and seemed to be putting more effort into neglecting me...I don't know I still can't help thinking it was something I did. He was basically the only friend I have that I talked to frequently. And being brand new to medical school in a new town, I am having trouble making friends on top of dealing with the stress of medical school. I have never felt so utterly alone. I'm sick of crying and I wish I could bring myself to do something about it, but I don't know. I don't even know why I'm writing this, but I need to put it down and tell someone or something.
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Post by Mildman1 on Oct 7, 2003 14:39:42 GMT -5
You're not alone. It's a good place to talk.
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Post by Silent Observer on Oct 10, 2003 5:52:38 GMT -5
Moggymoll, what's up with the b/f? If he is abusive or on dope, then it's best you separate.
This may not be what you want to hear, but: you need to find other friends/companions. He may be keeping his distance because you're too clingy and demand too much of his attention.
Nobody is expected to go through med school alone! There should be a professional society for interns and nurses and up-and-coming doctors; join them. Tell your supervising physician at the hospital about your feelings. Good luck mm.
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Post by SADdaydreamer on Oct 23, 2003 23:57:12 GMT -5
I think if he was 300 miles away it would have fell through anyway...I think there has to be some major chemistry for a long distance relationship to be successful, and if he was neglecting you, he doesn't deserve you and isn't truly compatible w/ you
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Post by CaryGrant on Nov 14, 2003 13:35:00 GMT -5
Hey mm, best wishes. I split from wife #2, not my choice, and I was very upset. Devastated, one might say. We were very close. I had no other real friends that I could talk to.
My sister's advice: develop a circle of friends so that loss of a romantic possibility isn't your whole world down the toilet. Good advice, but easier said than done for a shy person. Still, she was right. You're in school, so you should be surrounded by potential friends. Study buddies and groups can lead to something closer.
My advice: avoid romantic entanglements, and even what you think is simply "fun" sex. I think that, because it is so difficult for shy people to form deep relationships, we tend to put all our eggs in one basket, or one person. We wrap our lives around that person. And we read so much more into things than is necessarily there. So you might start out thinking a "fling" will be just stress relief, but end up hurt.
Find friends first, then a boyfriend. And once you have the latter, keep the former.
Again, best wishes.
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