what do guys think of shy girls?

[PaAlltheWay]

This one if for the guys...what do you honestly think of shy girls? do you often think that they are snobby because they rarely talk. do you like the mystery of her? are you willing to try to get to know a girl who you never see beeing outgoing because you find her attractive?

[urbanspaceman]

Being a guy who's is really shy, the idea of getting to know a girl who's also shy is an attractive one. But in practice hasn't ever really worked for me. I think this is mainly due to the point you make about rarely talking, or seemingly acting 'snobbish' or uninterested when someone you're attracted to is close by. A look you get from a girl/guy you like, where they quickly turn their head away from you can seem like they have no interest in you. On the other hand, what I seem to do a lot of is doing anything to avoid actual eye contact with the person you like. From this forum this seems to be common amongst us shy folk.

Anyway, that's a long-winded way of saying I'm attracted to the thought of shy girls, but actually striking up a conversation with a girl who I like, who's also shy to boot, is a more difficult thing in my view. Girls who don't feel the need to be loud or constantly chatty, that are more introspective/introvert I do find attractive, just getting to know them is the problem as for most shy guys I guess!

[Anoutgoingguy]

Actually I do not pay attention for them. Unfortunately they are so quiet and modest...

[Hermit]

I have to agree with Urbanspaceman.. it sounds ideal and i think that between two shy people there could be a lot of understanding. The chances of those two people finding each other are slim though... being so introverted, how are they to meet? Who would make the first move?

I'm not too picky these days though.. if a more outgoing girl actually approaches me, can look past my flaws and crack my shell... i'm just as interested in that scenario as i am finding a shy girl.

I think most appealing aspect of dating a shy girl -from a shy guy's point of view- is that she's not as likely to push into "going out" a lot, or be disappointed by a more quiet lifestyle.

[CaryGrant]

I've been devoting some thought to this lately...shyness really masks personality and character - it inhibits. I want someone who can communicate openly, and someone who is not full of fears about life. Some shy people are very much like this, others are more open once they get to know you.

So, for me, it depends upon the woman. If I feel like I have to drag her thoughts, feelings, and desires out of her all the time, I'm not going to be interested. If she can't express affection, or is inhibited in bed, or is avoiding personal growth and life, I won't be interested.

[l0ner]

I used to think that hooking up with a shy girl would be ideal, for obvious reasons. But after become friends with this one girl (whom I kind of have a 'crush' on) who has led a really interesting and exciting life and is very uninhibited (although not obnoxiously outgoins, which I like), I've realized that a shy girl would probably bore me. I wasted my college years and am hungry, DESPERATE for fun and excitement. I really don't think a shy girl would be able to provide that, I think.

[Michael1973]

Here's my two cents on the shy guy/shy girl relationship. I think there are both positive and negative aspects to this.

On the positive side, who is going to understand a shy person better than someone who's been through the exact same ordeals? Few non-shy people are going to be as sympathetic to our issues in the same regard, and this aspect might just make it easier for both parties to be open and honest about themselves without fear of judgment.

On the negative side, however, I think that a shy/shy relationship could possibly be damaging to both people. Say you have a guy who's been struggling with shyness his whole life who wants nothing more than to improve his social life, but doesn't want to do it alone. Then he hooks up with a shy girl, who turns out to be afraid of socializing and has no desire to change that. She's perfectly content staying home all the time. See what I mean?

It's hard to say, but I think it all depends on the individuals in each case. If both of them are willing to make the effort together it can work. It seems to me, though, that one of them needs to be just slightly more outgoing in order to help the shy one break out of his/her shell.

[Iamtheshyone]

I think it's perfect, shy + shy=outgoing couple,
some shy people like me find myself talking more when I talk to other shy people.sadly, I haven't found a shy girl yet.
in fact, both shys can practice talking to each other, so they'll be able to talk more to non-shy people.

[Iamtheshyone]

I would also like to add, if the girl or boy is so shy that he/she doesn't do anything like talk or anything, then the relationship won't last..but if they are mild-moderate shy, then things can work if not then I don't know.

[Evarie Fayore]

From my own personal experience, the shy/shy combinationation doesn't seem to work unfortunately
See, my "boyfriend" (I don't know if I can call him that, it doesn't feel like we're a couple...) is shy, although he didn't seem so shy when he first introduced himself to me. He's an introvert and we have a lot in common -maybe too much?- but lately he's been acting very shy and uninterested. I don't really know where I stand with him at the moment. He confessed that he really liked me on our first date and since then we've been on a couple more dates but he hasn't even tried to make a move on me. He acts as though he's lost interest. We have nothing to say to each other anymore, the relationship seems to have fizzled out
So IMO it's better to be with someone who is capable of carrying on an interesting conversation and can bring out your most positive self. Having said that though, everyone has their own individual taste!

[stock]

Being shy and introverted myself I can immediately pick out the introverts in the crowd who might be dismissed by other extroverts as "snobs, arrogant" and the like.

I guess it all depends on how shy or introverted the two people are... if they are so shy they can't even carry on a conversation together then you have a problem. Me, I'm just shy when I like someone, and only until I get to know them.. then I have a problem with introversion alone, but I'm the type of introvert who will enjoy talking to people who mean something to me, and tune out everybody else, so it's not as much of a problem...

[SpathiEluder]

actually i think the ideal relationship would be a three way: the shy guy, the shy girl who can connect with him and understand him, and the extroverted girl who helps both of them cut loose and break their inhibitions.

unfortunately, this is little more than a pipe dream.

[Maryann]

Why do people assume shy women are boring and want to stay home all the time? If she is shy she probably would love to have a friend to go out with and do things too. It makes me sad to think other shys are just as prejudiced as extroverts. Also, what's wrong with being modest? Modesty is about having respect for yourself and other people.

[shy 777]

Guest-Maryann said:

Why do people assume shy women are boring and want to stay home all the time? If she is shy she probably would love to have a friend to go out with and do things too. It makes me sad to think other shys are just as prejudiced as extroverts. Also, what's wrong with being modest? Modesty is about having respect for yourself and other people.

I believe that all women like to go out, communicate, share their feelings or emotions, even the shy ones because women like to be treated and going out on a date is a treat rather than just doing nothing.