Derrick
Full Member
Lost Soul
Posts: 241
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Post by Derrick on Nov 12, 2004 18:13:00 GMT -5
To whom are you referring, canisay182? I can understand how you feel, but you've got to understand the vast majority of women (and men for that matter) do not look at relationships the way you and I might.
There are so many mind games played especially in American culture, way too much obsession over sex, money, and power, and frankly, nice guys do have a difficult time and are often forced to put on a show for some women who would otherwise look the other way and ignore them. For me this is difficult, because it means accepting someone who otherwise might not be perfect for me. I'd rather just be my kind, generous introverted reserved gentile self and let the game playing manipulative bitches fry in hell.
Also, people change A LOT from 14 to adulthood. Innocence, whatever is left of it from youth, is lost. People become set in their ways, and given the progression of american culture, those ways aren't exactly adaptable with those of us nice guys. Feel free to pm if you want to discuss more. I'm sorry you are having such a hard time of it. You are young, you have your whole life ahead of you. Try to think a bit more positively. I know how you feel because I felt the same way at that age. You have plenty of time to get it right where I screwed up, however, especially with the wisdom of these forums and people to support you at your disposal.
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Post by shannon on Nov 12, 2004 19:43:15 GMT -5
Your ideal man ONLY stands up to your shoulders!Ewww! That’s gross! Why don’t I just date an elf! |
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Post by CaryGrant on Nov 13, 2004 14:31:38 GMT -5
This has been an interesting, if vitriolic, thread! There is definitely a grain of truth in gary's words. Generally speaking, women do prefer confident men, and I imagine all shy men are painfully aware of this. And how many of us have complained bitterly that women go for the jerks while us nice guys get the "let's just be friends" line?
That said, I see no reason to see women as inferior. Women like confidence, which can be falsely projected by pulling others down, or heathily projected by building oneself up. Either way will get a lot of women, but only the latter way leads to personal happiness and a fulfilling relationship.
"The only thing worse than a man who can't be controlled is one who can." I forget which famous female movie star said this, but it's absolutely true. Women "test" mean constantly, and the more you try to appease them, the more her feelings for you shut down.
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Zvezda
Junior Member
Posts: 63
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Post by Zvezda on Nov 15, 2004 9:56:23 GMT -5
Don't get me wrong. You don't treat her like shit. You just do NOT act like she is better than you or you are not worthy of her. Otherwise she will believe it and dump your ass. You have to act aloof like you don't care like Joe said. You act like you can handle anything she can't and she will love you for it. Many shy people like Max put women on a pedestal. They worship women. That is a huge mistake. If you have to think about it this way then do it because it is better than thinking that you are inferior to women because they will not like it. And by know means am I saying let them know this by telling them. That would obviously be a mistake. You just have to ACT it. I would say that the same goes for us women. To not put men on pedestals and to worship them cause then THEY will treat you like shit. Oh and btw women are not by far inferior to men as you might think...we let you all think that you are but in the mean time us women make this world go round! Trust me  |
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Post by Chauvinistic Pig on Nov 15, 2004 14:00:57 GMT -5
I would say that the same goes for us women. To not put men on pedestals and to worship them cause then THEY will treat you like shit. Makes sense but some women are soooooo eager to please that they will let you do that. Women…. Can’t live with them…. Can’t have heterosexual sex without them… |
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Post by Guestie on Nov 15, 2004 16:43:37 GMT -5
*Oink, Oink, Oink*
Amen to that brother!
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gary
New Member
Posts: 12
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Post by gary on Nov 15, 2004 23:47:46 GMT -5
Yes, there is a prominent sex role stereotype out there that the man has to be taller than the woman. But like all those other sex role stereotypes, there are people out there who don't let this one keep them from finding love. It’s not a stereotype. The majority of women, something like 98% prefer taller men – that’s a fact. Many blatantly express that they are not attracted to shorter men then themselves – period. They can’t help it; it was the way they were born. Just like gay and lesbians can’t help that they like what they like. Some might give a guy who is shorter a chance especially if she is freakishly tall for a women because she will have only a very small pool of taller guys to choose from. This is an example of the phenomenon I explained above. A 6’-2” woman is freakishly tall and less than 5% of all men are taller. That’s less than 1 out of every 20 random men! That’s not much of a pool to choose from now is there? Also a 5’-11” guy is not short; that’s above average in height so if she was shorter herself, she would obviously have no problem with his height. How many women 5’-6” and below date shorter men than themselves? It will be many times less than a 6’-2” woman who has barely anything to choose from, that’s for sure! Women generally want a man to be at least average in height unless they are really short themselves but even those really short woman want tall guys sop their kids won’t be short. It is no secret that height matters the most in choosing a spouse – especially when children are wanted by the female. |
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Post by Maryann on Nov 16, 2004 17:27:55 GMT -5
The world is still "male dominated" (all the world religions, politics, medicine, business) therefore "masculine" qualities are considered "superior", such as height, intelligence, competitive, rational, speed, strength, size, confidence, etc.
"Feminine" qualities such as sensitivity, softness, intuitive, emotional, petite, nuturing, compassion, etc. are therefore considered "inferior", but they are not really. It is only because the world sees the "masculine traits" as powerful. But feminine qualities are powerful in a different way.
The masculine and the feminine compliment each other, but one is not superior to the other.
jmho
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Post by Maryann on Nov 16, 2004 17:38:47 GMT -5
I forgot to add to above post, women have "masculine traits" and vice versa.
Why would men want to share their life with someone they considered inferior to them. That's where spousal abuse comes in. If they consider them inferior, it makes abuse more likely.
Mutual respect is the best.
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Derrick
Full Member
Lost Soul
Posts: 241
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Post by Derrick on Nov 20, 2004 20:02:19 GMT -5
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Derrick
Full Member
Lost Soul
Posts: 241
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Post by Derrick on Nov 20, 2004 20:02:38 GMT -5
double post
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Post by Evarie Fayore on Nov 25, 2004 4:06:28 GMT -5
It is also common sense that men are naturally stronger on average. And because we are taller on average and stronger on average, then we are bigger on average. And that makes you superior because……………………?? Women – on average – are more emotional I agree, but that is not a weakness. Emotionality is also not totally dependent on biology. Males are often brought up being told things like “big boys don’t cry” and are encouraged to suppress their emotions whereas it is more socially acceptable for females to express their emotions. Suppressing emotions is not good for your health. To state that men on average are more rational is completely ignorant. Rationality is not dependent on sex, but probably more dependent on whether you are a “left-brain” or “right-brain” person. Of course most men would agree that women have inferior intelligence, but that doesn’t make it true. It’s just the same as asking hardcore football fans if baseball is an inferior sport to football. Most would say it is but that doesn’t mean it’s a fact. Using the results from the Test Australia IQ test to justify your statement that women have inferior intelligence is also ignorant. Firstly, it was not a proper scientific experiment and it had many uncontrolled variables. Also, if I had enough information I could conduct a statistical analysis on the data to determine if it is ‘statistically significant’, which I don’t think that it is. There has also been debate that that IQ test was biased against women. I did the test myself when it was broadcast on TV and found that I got a lower score (126) than I did on other IQ tests (between 130 and 147). Anyway, most evidence suggests that men and women are of equal intelligence, with men performing better in spatial tasks and women excelling in language tasks. I could go on about this topic but I wont – for now. You obviously didn’t take a good look at that site because if you did you would see that it states: As you might imagine, larger animals have larger brains. However, this does not mean that animals with larger brains are smarter than animals with smaller brains. For example, a larger brain is necessary to control larger muscles in larger animals and a larger brain is necessary to process more sensory information from the skin in larger animals - this has nothing to do with intelligence. We are not Neanderthals! We humans – well most humans, at any rate – have evolved from caveman era and have much deeper desires than ‘mating’. We (both males and females) want an equal partnership. That IS what a marriage is supposed to be about and not domination, intimidation and control. The power should be equally distributed in a partnership; otherwise it is not a true partnership. The individual with less power is likely to become resentful towards the other person and that can lead to a whole heap of other problems. Gary, is your wife happy? And Stockwiz, I seriously hope you do not believe one word of that repost. |
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Post by lsdima4 on Nov 25, 2004 10:09:34 GMT -5
The desires that are "deeper" than mating are made up. Guess by whom? Society that everyone here so despises.
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Post by lsdima4 on Nov 25, 2004 10:13:59 GMT -5
Also on question:
A guy wants to ask advice on how to get a girlfriend and he has 2 people to chose from to get advice.
One is a guy who is always surrounded by beatiful women and has no problems getting into relationships.
The other is a guy who has never been able to go near a woman.
Which one should he get advice from?
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Post by Sweet Pea on Nov 25, 2004 15:23:48 GMT -5
The desires that are "deeper" than mating are made up. Guess by whom? Society that everyone here so despises. So, are you saying that your only need is for a female to bonk? You have no need for a relationship with a woman you have things in common with, like similar interests and a similar level of intelligence? |
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