hot awkward sex! yeah!...not really

[aerocowgirl]

So i was browsing through posts here but couldnt find anything on the problem i have so here goes nothing. I've finally managed to obtain a boyfriend who, for some reason, is able to deal with my often annoying shyness and loves me. The really big problem we seem to be having involves our sex life. He's basically the only person I've slept with (minus losing my virginity last year to one of my semi-friends when i was intoxicated...way to go). I can't seem to get past the whole body insecurity thing. I don't think I'm THAT bad looking. I'm just really skinny/bony/ have an amazing lack of breasts/(insert random other insecurities here). Everytime we undress it's just awkward for me and i get kind of shaky and tense up, and end up elbowing him or something. And I like him a lot, and it's not that I'm not ready or anything, I'm just really nervous and awkward. I'm afraid of doing a lot of things too, for fear of doing it wrong or having it be even more awkward. So at this point, it's kind of disappointing. I mean, it's ok, but it could be a lot better. So that just kills the mood for me, since at this point I start getting frustrated with myself. We've been together for 3 months and we've had sex maybe 6-7 times, which i find kind of abnormal. I just don't know how to get beyond this...any ideas or ways to bring this up with him without seeming totally lame? And i know a lot of people here have enough trouble getting to the point where i am now and might feel the need to say that i should just feel lucky to be where i am right now-but that's not going to really help. I know i'm lucky...i just want to be...luckier? Thanks

[lonelyone]

have you tried just turning out the lights and snuggling in bed for awhile as a prelude? maybe that would slide you past the whole insecure-about-your-looks thing?

[CaryGrant]

Lights out is a good suggestion. You might also want to talk to him about how self-conscious you feel, as otherwise he may well be thinking you don't like him much.

I have gone through similar body-image issues, and I finally decided to ignore what my brain told me, and pay attention to what others said (or indicated non-verbally). Meaning, if your boyfriend finds you attractive, then that's all that matters. Stop thinking that someday he'll wake up and see the "real you." He is seeing the real you, and he likes it.