Post by Concord292 on Nov 17, 2004 0:56:38 GMT -5
Hi there, this my first time posting and this is a little long so please stay with me.
I am 29 and have never had a girlfriend. It is not for lack of trying. I have been rejected each time I have asked a woman out. I’m rather insecure to begin with and my results haven’t helped. I had decided a few years ago not to dwell on it so much and focus on getting my career started. But over the summer a girl came into work with me for a few weeks and during that time I slowly became smitten with her. It frustrated me that she was only there for a short while and I couldn’t get to know her better. I WAS able to get her e-mail but was too afraid to ask for her number.
Since she left we have corresponded on and off but we have been unable to get together due to her school schedule. Very soon she will be out on break and I would very much like to see her again and possibly ask her out. The thing is that I am frozen with fear. I wish I knew how to approach this. I realize that the worst the can happen is that she says no but that has happened to me so many times that I am simply too afraid to try it again right now. It feels like a lonely heart hurts less then a broken heart and while I’m petrified of being hurt, I’m tired of being lonely. But on top of that, I fear feeling BOTH at the same time is even more difficult to handle, especially at a time when I am under a great amount of stress for other reasons. As much as a girlfriend would lift my spirits right now, going through that heartache we all know, would feel 100 times worse.
It also doesn’t help that I only have an e-mail address. Asking someone out that way feels cheap and I risk not hearing from her again, which for me is worse then hearing her say no. So the main question is—how can I, through e-mail, get to see her again so that maybe next time I can get her number or just ask her out up front.
I haven’t felt this close to a person in years, but I know from experience that my feelings don’t necessarily go both ways. But I find that I fall for women this way—I never find myself attracted to them until I get to know them, which puts me at risk for being simply another friend. I don’t understand ‘signs’ and can never tell if anyone is interested in me. Any help on how to go about this would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for you time.
I am 29 and have never had a girlfriend. It is not for lack of trying. I have been rejected each time I have asked a woman out. I’m rather insecure to begin with and my results haven’t helped. I had decided a few years ago not to dwell on it so much and focus on getting my career started. But over the summer a girl came into work with me for a few weeks and during that time I slowly became smitten with her. It frustrated me that she was only there for a short while and I couldn’t get to know her better. I WAS able to get her e-mail but was too afraid to ask for her number.
Since she left we have corresponded on and off but we have been unable to get together due to her school schedule. Very soon she will be out on break and I would very much like to see her again and possibly ask her out. The thing is that I am frozen with fear. I wish I knew how to approach this. I realize that the worst the can happen is that she says no but that has happened to me so many times that I am simply too afraid to try it again right now. It feels like a lonely heart hurts less then a broken heart and while I’m petrified of being hurt, I’m tired of being lonely. But on top of that, I fear feeling BOTH at the same time is even more difficult to handle, especially at a time when I am under a great amount of stress for other reasons. As much as a girlfriend would lift my spirits right now, going through that heartache we all know, would feel 100 times worse.
It also doesn’t help that I only have an e-mail address. Asking someone out that way feels cheap and I risk not hearing from her again, which for me is worse then hearing her say no. So the main question is—how can I, through e-mail, get to see her again so that maybe next time I can get her number or just ask her out up front.
I haven’t felt this close to a person in years, but I know from experience that my feelings don’t necessarily go both ways. But I find that I fall for women this way—I never find myself attracted to them until I get to know them, which puts me at risk for being simply another friend. I don’t understand ‘signs’ and can never tell if anyone is interested in me. Any help on how to go about this would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for you time.
