Can't even say hi

[Blah]

GAH! This is really getting annoying. There's this girl at my school who I like, and we occasionally talk over MSN, but most of the time in real life, I pretty much become a mute whenever she's near. Any help on how to getover this would be much appreciated

[Blah]

SweetPea said:

do you get much experience talking to girls? are you just feeling mute because of your feelings for her or are you mute around girls or strangers in general?

It's mainly her who I'm shy around, but there is the other occasoinal girl that I'm shy around

[Spartan]

Just talk to her about things you would talk about online or things at school. It can be kind of uncomfortable at first but the more you do it the more natural it will become. Just wondering...Is it that you don't know what to say or you get too nervous to say it?

[Blah]

CodeBoy said:

Just wondering...Is it that you don't know what to say or you get too nervous to say it?

The nervousness rules me

[Blah]

*hates self* I had the perfect chance to talk to her on the bus back from school, and I didn't take it! Argh!

[Spartan]

Blah said:

*hates self* I had the perfect chance to talk to her on the bus back from school, and I didn't take it! Argh!

it can take a lot of courage to initialize a conversation like this. Don't be too hard on yourself for missing an opportunity to talk to her. Just tell yourself you won't miss the next one.

[Blah]

CodeBoy said:

it can take a lot of courage to initialize a conversation like this. Don't be too hard on yourself for missing an opportunity to talk to her. Just tell yourself you won't miss the next one.

Thanks for the advice, I *won't* miss the next opportunity.

Hopefully

[Blah]

Well, I missed an oppurtunity to walk home form the beach with her, as me and a load of friends went there and she left earlier than any one else

On a good note, I took Sweetpeas advice and I've started talking to girls who I don't really talk to ;D

[Blah]

Sorry for the triple post, but now I'm just plain confused. I think I've started to like one of the girls who I talked to before, but it's easier to talk to her than it is to talk to the other girl

[Spartan]

blah said:

Sorry for the triple post, but now I'm just plain confused. I think I've started to like one of the girls who I talked to before, but it's easier to talk to her than it is to talk to the other girl

That's good, you found a girl you can talk to. Maybe it is easier for you to talk to her because you know her better than the other girl and are more comfortable around her. Once you get to know and talk to the other girl more you might not be so nervous.

[CaryGrant]

Ha! Sweetpea gives good advice, yes? If you attach a great deal of importance to someone's opinion of you, you may find yourself very nervous when talking to that person. It's as though you're afraid you'll lose their approval.

Baby steps: As SweetPea suggested, make a goal of talking to women with NO INTENTION OF ASKING THEM OUT. You're just chatting, you are not allowed to consider them romantically. Do this for a few weeks or months, and you'll notice much improved confidence, because you'll start seeing women, even ones you find highly attractive, as people first, rather than as different beings who hold your self-esteem in their hands.

[romaramabanana]

Good advice! I have this same issue, except with the guy I like, so the whole seeing them as human beings thing would be a good one to tackle. lol, this all sounds really freaky, but it's true.. the biggest reason i can't talk to him is because I've elevated him to a status where I'm not interesting and we can't talk. Talking and seeing guys/girls as the mundane beings they can be can help if you have troubles, I'd imagine.

[rudy]

yahh. i can't even say to anybody for that matter.. i just universally accept that they know they're in my presence. i NEVER feel like talking. NEVER.

[rukryM]

I tend to mute too, but lately I've tried talking about all kinds of stuff from school to recreational activities, and even make a few jokes. Unfortunately I either have very weird sense of humor or tell the joke in a very difficult way, because SHE mutes, and that's even worse ^^.