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Post by k151 on Sept 19, 2007 1:17:28 GMT -5
OK, little bit of backstory. There is a girl in one of my classes. It's a large class (my guess is about 70-100 people at least). I have a few friends in the class that I always sit next to. Anyhow, either this girl just doesn't know anyone in the class, or she is new to the college/university/city. She's also rather cute, but thats neither here nor there.  Point is, I would like to introduce myself and talk to her, but I don't know how to do it without; 1. Being terribly awkward 2. Seeming "creepy" It would be nice if I didn't know ANYONE else in the class, because then I actually wouldn't care TOO much if I made an attempt and got shut down. Also, if we chit chat and, by some miracle, seem to hit it off really well, what do I do then? I don't want to just leave, but I also don't want to be too forward and ask too much. Blahhh I've just passed up too many opportunities. I really want to just introduce myself and have, even a 5-10 minute chat with this girl. If there is any hope of something coming of it, I would probably know by then. I just don't know how to get it going. Walking up and saying "Hi, can I sit here? *sits next to her*" Then introduce myself and start chatting? Obviously if most of the classroom is empty and I go right next to her, that might be a little...weird. Then there is the situation of what to do about my friends. It's hard enough for me to just chat to a girl like this, if my friends are also right next to me, I just don't think I could do it. Thinking about it is driving me nuts. I feel compelled to see if anything could come of it, but don't want to fuck it up.  |
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wraith
Junior Member
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Post by wraith on Sept 19, 2007 4:53:42 GMT -5
As long as you are wearing something under your trenchcoat she won't think you are creepy for introducing yourself. She's new and doesn't know anybody there, she'll like the attention. And if, by some miracle you hit it of really well, you definitely want to be forward and suggest that you two do something together sometime soon. She will expect no less.
When I remember how many opportunities I missed by being a wuss, I want to claw my face out. Even if she tells you to "never talk to her again, you psycho" in front of your friends, it's going to be much easier to take than thinking about what might have been, trust me on that. And bonus: next time it's going to be much easier to to something similar.
Do it, and report back.
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Post by MrNice on Sept 19, 2007 8:35:31 GMT -5
that one is easy - don't talk to her with your friends around
you are thinking about this too much already - you have to accept the possibility of seeming creepy or weird and just go and talk to her
you have to accept the possibility of being rejected right then and there
the sooner you do it the less weird and creepy you will behave
you can certainly ask if you can sit there next to her
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Post by Sweet Pea on Sept 19, 2007 8:43:43 GMT -5
Obviously if most of the classroom is empty and I go right next to her, that might be a little...weird. don't sit right next to her if she's sitting alone in a mostly empty room. sit one seat over on either side of her. that way she can signal her interest by turning towards you, or signal her disinterest by turning away from you. start off by talking about something related to the one thing you have in common...the class. |
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swwg
New Member
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Post by swwg on Sept 21, 2007 2:47:51 GMT -5
well, the next time you see her, don't over-notice her because maybe she's... not interested and doesn't want to be so forthcoming, wave to her to break the ice though and make her feel comfortable, and now the ball is in her court by how she reacts, if she's lonely being in there, she'll definitely come up to you and hang out with you. But do a good job of reading her, don't make any freaky moves... she may just be lonely and needs the comfort of a friend... but if you have anyting going on, and it's something she's interested in, definitely invite her, get to know her first though,
Don't manufacture yourself into something though that your not, it's unsustainable, one of the first lessons I learned in middle school lol, she'll try to do the same, especially if she's digging you, she'll start to get feminine and dress in a more appealing manner, try to get her to put her defenses down so you can learn about her true self; how sees the world, her outlook on life, her past, where she sees herself five years from now, and just who she is as a person, there is nothing wrong with manufacturing cirtain aspects of yourserlf but who you are in the dark is what any life-long partner seeks to understand before making any sort of deep commitment... naw what i'm saying? lol, good luck bro good luck and let us know how it goes!
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Post by k151 on Sept 25, 2007 2:34:07 GMT -5
Thanks for the advice.  I still haven't plucked up the courage yet, unfortunately. I think the ideal situation would be sitting by her in the lab, which I have once a week. Every week (mondays) I am in there and see her. I don't stare or do anything else creepy (lol), but the lab isn't like the class. It's a fair bit smaller. I'm thinking I should almost tell my friends that I'm not going to sit by them, and why. I picture myself having a conversation. It could almost work. Like I said before though, it's the act of breaking the ice and getting the conversation going. Once that happened, I'm sure I could talk decently. I figure I don't have a helluva lot of time. If she IS new (likely, since I've never seen her around ever) I would rather get to know her now. I should just walk up, sit down and introduce myself. Sounds so easy from this chair. |
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Post by MrNice on Sept 25, 2007 8:27:22 GMT -5
The ideal situation is that you don't create a complicated plan for a month in order to have a 2 minute conversation which will most likely lead to nothing. Don't tell your friends anything - don't pick a permanent spot next to her.
that is exactly what you need to do - just throw all your other 'preparations' out - concentrate on doing this single thing - and don't create expectations of how this will lead to that and then you will get married to her.
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Post by k151 on Sept 27, 2007 2:43:56 GMT -5
The ideal situation is that you don't create a complicated plan for a month in order to have a 2 minute conversation which will most likely lead to nothing. Don't tell your friends anything - don't pick a permanent spot next to her. that is exactly what you need to do - just throw all your other 'preparations' out - concentrate on doing this single thing - and don't create expectations of how this will lead to that and then you will get married to her. But...that's way too simple and easy. I have to make it overly complicated and stupid.  Fuck it, I have to do it anyway. |
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Post by kopzilla on Oct 5, 2007 17:01:54 GMT -5
your in a class...
just sit somewhere around and inncoently ask her about some material that you didnt understand...chances are that that may lead to a short discussion...after which u can introduce urself..
for me its easy to say but difficult to do it...
I still feel that girls would talk to me only if they perceived me as " cool " or "good looking" or "smart"
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Post by Astroruss on Oct 6, 2007 0:12:25 GMT -5
This is an underhanded trick but it works. Introduce all your friends to her. That way, she's happy at you because you have broken her iceberg frozen tundra. Also, the friendliness will rub off on you, and you'll seem like the 'nice guy alpha male.' Oh, and then offer to help her find her books. Another variation on an old trick, but it too works. |
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