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Post by Bodhi on Mar 18, 2008 15:51:13 GMT -5
A friend of mine has met a few girls by using facebook. He searches through the profiles and then contacts girls he finds interesting. He told me to try it so I did. I found a girl I liked and messaged her, i had nothing to lose. She messaged me back and was receptive, seemingly. But now I don't know what to do next?
Any suggestions on how to transition from contacting her to eventually meeting her i guess. What steps should I take?
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Post by airburst on Mar 18, 2008 19:29:37 GMT -5
Maybe just make small talk with her over the internet and eventually ask her if she wants to meet up or go out. What does your friend do after he messages a girl? You should ask him for advice on what to do.
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Post by Bodhi on Mar 18, 2008 19:55:00 GMT -5
What does your friend do after he messages a girl? You should ask him for advice on what to do. He's much more outgoing than me and always has girls that like him. He was vague on what he does, as if its obvious as to what to do to get girls. |
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Post by MrNice on Mar 18, 2008 21:02:17 GMT -5
after 1 or 2 more exchanges you should suggest that you two meet and get her phone number, then call her and set it up
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frillllow
New Member
mmm... chocolate cake!
Posts: 26
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Post by frillllow on Mar 19, 2008 18:21:29 GMT -5
I met a guy through Facebook once. He messaged me 4 times (and I messaged him back, too). Our messages were pretty much about general things... like anything we were doing during the week. I remember he said he went to Cedar Point and that was really fun.. I messaged him back talking about how I hated rollercoasters... haha. Then he added me on AIM and talked to me on that sometimes (but not much). Then he asked me for my phone number and if I wanted to get breakfast some time, and I said ok. It was a bit awkward for me, and I think it was awkward for him, too. It seemed we didn't have much to talk about... probably my fault.  But we still talked to each other a little bit afterward and ended up as sort-of friends. My friend also met someone through facebook. She was kinda obsessed with one guy that she found and messaged him about 5 times, then added him on AIM, talked to him through that, and then she asked to meet him. They became really good friends, and I think they even ended up going on a few dates. That was all two and a half years ago, and they are still really close friends. I think that as long as the other person is fairly receptive to all your messages then it'll be alright to ask that person out to meet up or for lunch, or for a phone number, etc. One of my other friends used to get random messages from guys on facebook fairly often and she hardly ever responded because she thought a lot of them were creepy. So, if the other person responds in the first place, that's a good sign. |
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Post by Bodhi on Mar 19, 2008 21:23:16 GMT -5
I met a guy through Facebook once. He messaged me 4 times (and I messaged him back, too). Our messages were pretty much about general things... like anything we were doing during the week. I remember he said he went to Cedar Point and that was really fun.. I messaged him back talking about how I hated rollercoasters... haha. Then he added me on AIM and talked to me on that sometimes (but not much). Then he asked me for my phone number and if I wanted to get breakfast some time, and I said ok. It was a bit awkward for me, and I think it was awkward for him, too. It seemed we didn't have much to talk about... probably my fault. But we still talked to each other a little bit afterward and ended up as sort-of friends. My friend also met someone through facebook. She was kinda obsessed with one guy that she found and messaged him about 5 times, then added him on AIM, talked to him through that, and then she asked to meet him. They became really good friends, and I think they even ended up going on a few dates. That was all two and a half years ago, and they are still really close friends. I think that as long as the other person is fairly receptive to all your messages then it'll be alright to ask that person out to meet up or for lunch, or for a phone number, etc. One of my other friends used to get random messages from guys on facebook fairly often and she hardly ever responded because she thought a lot of them were creepy. So, if the other person responds in the first place, that's a good sign. Interesting stories, thanks for the response. I think starting to talk through the IM is probably a good next step. Then if that seems to go well, ask if she wants to meet. It does seem like she might be interested since she responded back, she could very easily have ignored me. |
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Post by Bodhi on Mar 27, 2008 14:54:13 GMT -5
We exchanged IM info, but today I IM'd her for the frist time and we only talked for 5 minutes and she said she had work to do and had to go. Didn't seem too promising. I get very discouraged about these things and usually think the girl doesn't like me.
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Post by Sweet Pea on Mar 27, 2008 17:33:55 GMT -5
We exchanged IM info, but today I IM'd her for the frist time and we only talked for 5 minutes and she said she had work to do and had to go. Didn't seem too promising. I get very discouraged about these things and usually think the girl doesn't like me. send her an email and suggest she let you know when's a good time to IM. you might have caught her at a bad time for a long chat. |
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Post by k151 on Mar 29, 2008 0:48:40 GMT -5
after 1 or 2 more exchanges you should suggest that you two meet and get her phone number, then call her and set it up I agree. Don't waste too much time before meeting her. I've made the mistake of relying on the internet. When me and the girl did do things together, I was a quiet, boring person. |
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Post by Bodhi on Mar 29, 2008 10:57:19 GMT -5
after 1 or 2 more exchanges you should suggest that you two meet and get her phone number, then call her and set it up I agree. Don't waste too much time before meeting her. I've made the mistake of relying on the internet. When me and the girl did do things together, I was a quiet, boring person. I've done both with girls over the internet, met very quickly after contacting them, or waited a long time. In my opinion it didn't matter that much. In fact, the girl I talked to for over a year before we met I had the most success with. I think meeting quickly is good because if you don't click in real life you know right away and aren't wasting time. But, if you wait longer, I think you can develop more of a connection with the girl. Then when you do meet in real life, she might be more comfortable with you and might ignore some of your flaws and be more invested in starting a relationship. If you had only talked for a week or two beforehand, she has no investment in you and might see one silly flaw and immediately reject you(such as being a quiet person). |
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Post by Bodhi on Mar 29, 2008 13:21:12 GMT -5
Well, the discussion is moot now. She just sent me an email saying she felt funny talking to me since it wasn't realistic for us to meet and we probably shouldn't talk anymore. We only live about an hour and a half away though. I guess I'm still pretty bad at this whole internet dating thing, she sent a specific email saying she didn't want to talk after only a little over a week of talking. I didn't say anything weird though, I was quite normal in my messages with her. The last message I sent her was just about what I was doing this weekend. I'm not sure why she suddenly didn't like talking. I wish she just hadn't responded to me when i contacted her in the first place. |
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Post by Sweet Pea on Mar 29, 2008 13:27:49 GMT -5
Well, the discussion is moot now. She just sent me an email saying she felt funny talking to me since it wasn't realistic for us to meet and we probably shouldn't talk anymore. We only live about an hour and a half away though. I guess I'm still pretty bad at this whole internet dating thing, she sent a specific email saying she didn't want to talk after only a little over a week of talking. I didn't say anything weird though, I was quite normal in my messages with her. The last message I sent her was just about what I was doing this weekend. I'm not sure why she suddenly didn't like talking. I wish she just hadn't responded to me when i contacted her in the first place. if you saved the email/IM exchanges and you want specific advice on what if anything you might have done to cause this, you can either post it or pm it and ask people for feedback. otherwise, all i can say is, it might have had nothing to do with you or anything you said/did. |
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Post by Bodhi on Mar 29, 2008 17:59:28 GMT -5
if you saved the email/IM exchanges and you want specific advice on what if anything you might have done to cause this, you can either post it or pm it and ask people for feedback. otherwise, all i can say is, it might have had nothing to do with you or anything you said/did. That's how I'm thinking, its just the circumstances and whatevers going on in HER life. I don't think I made any 'mistake' in talking to her, nothing that would have her not want to talk to me anymore. We just chatted about music and random things going on in our lives. I think she just didn't feel like pursuing things for whatever reason. |
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Post by strawberrysweetie on Mar 29, 2008 23:59:20 GMT -5
^ That's good you're not taking it too personally.
It could be that she's just one of those people who are not too keen on the idea of meeting someone they've only met online. She might wonder what your intentions are. Females need to be more cautious regarding situations like these, in general.
I'm a bit reluctant on the idea myself. I used to never even think I'd consider it.
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Post by MrNice on Mar 30, 2008 9:51:36 GMT -5
how far have you gotten with her?
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But we still talked to each other a little bit afterward and ended up as sort-of friends.
