|
Post by Greg on Nov 5, 2003 21:37:46 GMT -5
Hello,i work in retail and my job is becoming harder and harder lately.Most of it deals with customer service,and lately i've been working alot less hours.i can hardly tolerate being around alot of people in public anymore.Plus,i recently had a party at my house with nothing but friends and family.I hardly left my room,i just didn't fell like being sociable,it was really hard for me to even go greet any of them.
Maybe i do indeed have social anxiety disorder.....does anyone else feel this way?
|
|
|
Post by spitzig on Nov 6, 2003 2:04:56 GMT -5
Yeah, I used to live in a fraternity. We obviously had lots of parties there. Occasionally, I'd just feel like staying in my room all night.
|
|
|
Post by Mythangel on Nov 16, 2003 17:26:41 GMT -5
I have social anxiety disorder,and that`s one of the symptoms.Other symptons are the everpresence feeling that people are watching,and judging you,it`s very difficult to approach someone(especially the opposite sex) and start a conversation.When something embarasses you ,you have an anxiety attack.You are convinced when you walk by a group of people that are laughing at you.
these are just a few of the sypmtons of social anxiety. Ihope you don`t have it,it will ruin your life. Good luck
|
|
2shy
New Member
Posts: 5
|
Post by 2shy on Nov 17, 2003 11:05:42 GMT -5
Know exactly what you mean, Greg. I am a civil servant (or trying to be, lol) and have to cope with scores of people appearing in my office without notice. I always have to remind myself to look them in the eye - success rate about 60%, I'd guess. It can improve though. The thing is to get the sort of help that works for you. Might be medication (or meditation) or some sort of support group or whatever. Keep looking and try everything that comes your way and be grateful for the better days. I find it annoying - because it is hard work and takes time - but I do better when I meditate on a regular basis and repeat the affirmations that the shrink gave me. I think it is like being diabetic - I have a kink in my psyche that needs constant monitoring and careful attention but once you know about it and start working to manage it, it does not have to ruin your life.
|
|
|
Post by smartie on Nov 23, 2003 14:59:24 GMT -5
Hi ya greg, my name is smartie, im new here. i read your posting about your work and your party. I am a very shy man in my late thirties now, and i worked for a long time in retailing. my experiences are different to yours though. Because I had no choice but to meet customers and serve them, I didn't feel as shy as i would in a social situation where i have the 'choice' not to speak, and where my phobias could dominate me. At work i was able to adopt a persona; put on an act, and I was able to communiate freely during the course of my work duties. Outside work I was still racked with anxiety at the prospect of meeting people, as i still am today. Looking back and thinking about it, I suppose my work situation illustrates the point that if you are confronted head on with something you must do, you can do it. Having said that, I struggle with repeating putting on that act, and I recall that I felt as though the work me was a sham. I'm not sure I want that to be the case, and so I am looking for other ways to condition myself to other people whilst retaining my true identity.
regarding the anti social feelings you had at your party, i don't think there is a lot to worry about. I know I'm stating the obvious, but shyness is all about feeling frustrated at being 'locked in', but every one has moments when they are either happy with just their own company, or they feel unhappy at the prospect of being around others.
Over the years I have been diagnosed with everything excepting paranoia and psycopathy! I know for a fact that 'all' that is wrong with me is shyness. My undersatanding of my predicament is that I am lost because I like people so much, but can't express myself, not that I dislike others. If we share the same feelings of social isolation (like many who visit this site), then we are bound to get frustrated and intentionally wish to withdraw sometimes. I know I do, and I'm nearly 40.
|
|
|
Post by smartie on Nov 23, 2003 15:13:20 GMT -5
I also think tooshy is on the target. Don't discount any form of help you can get, or create for yourself to change your situation. Like tooshy, I sometimes use a set of positive scripts which I either repeat to myself, or have scribbled on a bit of paper in my pocket. You feel a bit daft talking to yourself, or reaching into your pocket at a bus stop to give yourself a bit of positive reinforcement, but I have found that it works for me. We can beat it by pooling our experience, and we should all take pride in the fact that shy people are proven to make loyal considerate friends. It's those that reject us as aloof or unfriendly who are missing out.
|
|
|
Post by Greg on Dec 2, 2003 1:08:15 GMT -5
Thanks for listening.Lately my nerves haven't bothered me as much.I've made some strides but i still have a long,long way to go.
Plus,planning a wedding is way too stressful for me to handle.I've been putting it off for a year now.I've been engaged for roughly a year and my fiance wants a big wedding.....i'm not sure if i can handle being stared at for that long.....especially in front of 300 plus people.One things for sure,the pressure is mounting more and more every day.
|
|
|
Post by CaryGrant on Dec 2, 2003 12:17:54 GMT -5
Hi Greg - watch that the pressures don't add up and squash you. I had such an experience - divorce + move to new area + career change (teaching middle school ) = too much to handle. I quit the job mid-year and moved to be near family. Not sure what you can do to lower the pressure. Maybe get into therapy asap, and do things to acclimatise you to large social gatherings? If you keep postponing the wedding/planning your fiance may begin to doubt your sincerity....
|
|