time hurts

[mere phantom]

anyone else look at their life and the time past by, and think damn i've done nothing, and am no one and never will be?

i try and try and have over the years, yet i cant, shyness, social anxiety, depression, suicide and now paranoia all cripple me to death

i keep looking around me, and the whole world is moving and im standing still

i get tired and pissed off, i dont care about mainstream deals and mainstream things, because mainstream sucks, and is so damn fake

yet i'd like to be more like others, sometimes when i see a beautiful woman i get teary-eyed knowing I will never marry and have never dated

it just eats me up inside, im tired of this and my suffering

[MissAnxiety]

I'm kind of "speechless" right now in what to respond to you but I wanted to send some e-hugs to ya.

*hugs*

[spitzig]

Yeah, I think that too.

[CaryGrant]

Yup. I think of all the things I could have, should have accomplished by now, and the kind of person I know I could be, and it gets pretty depressing.

Now I'm taking baby steps toward becoming that kind of person, and I do feel better about myself.

[darkman]

have been in that situation before and the best thing to do, the only thing to do is change yourself, yes I know this is very hard to do but, it got to be done. Make a list of the things you do not like about youeself e.g. shyness, depression etc and one by one eliminate them, by doing positive things that basically scare you e.g. shyness=talking to people more without thinking about what you will say to them or what they will think about you.

[Placido]

I'm improving, and good things will come to me, but nothing I can do will give me back the 12 years of adult life I spent alone because I believed I wasn't worthy of intimacy.

There's no point getting upset about it, but I do anyway...

[EdgedInBlue]

mere phantom- *e-hugs* The only advice I can really offer you is try to make your time alone worthwhile. Write, read a book (there's a weath of knowledge at our fingertips! Try to absorb as much of it as you can!), do something you love, redecorate (feeling comfortable in your own home is very important). Being alone doesn't have to be lonely. As a matter of fact, you can build the confidence to enter the outside world.