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Post by shorty on Feb 24, 2004 23:55:31 GMT -5
Lately I feel so much like that one Less Than Jake song when they sing, "i'm so overdosed on apathy, and burnt out on sympathy." I feel like I'm always there for all of my friends. I always make an effort to be someone's shoulder to lean on, but when I need some support no one is around. I'm so used to brushing off these feelings of lonliness, but sometimes it's just so overwhelming.
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Post by Alecto on Feb 25, 2004 9:28:13 GMT -5
I used to have the same problem.
I would always be there to help other people with their problems, but when it came to my own problems they were unsympathetic.
Finally I got fed up, and now when they come to me with their problems. I just tell them to "deal with it".
Sure its not nice, but it that's what they expect me to do when I have a problem, then I expect the same from them.
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Post by traveljunkie on Feb 25, 2004 22:51:15 GMT -5
I feel ya shorty. Just don't do it. All my life friends or cowrokers would come to me with their problems and head aches. I use to help them out. The thing I noticed was that they alw ays came back! With more of there deeper and darker problems and status reports on their previous problems. The balls on these people!
I finally realised that these people have probally been doing this since childhood and have made a habit of it. I finally stopped helping these sort of people and now give unsympathetic responses. Which drive them away to others shoulders. ;D
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Ghost
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Post by Ghost on Feb 27, 2004 15:16:59 GMT -5
I have the same shorty. I am tired of people and am tired of me. Not always, but sometimes...
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B
New Member
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Post by B on Feb 29, 2004 15:17:02 GMT -5
If people think they can come to you with their problems and that you'll always help them, I don't think they're being "ballsy". Maybe they just trust you. Probably because you've been there for them before. Not everybody was raised with the concept of "reciprocity".
At the same time, isn't it funny how people just naturally seem to trust us? lol. At work, I could be sitting in a room with two coworkers, who are talking to each other, and they say things, out loud and quite clearly, that they lead up to with "don't tell anybody else about this. You gotta swear!", like I'm not even there. Hmmmm...they never make me take any oath. Then watching how those people interact with the people they were just "secretly" talking about is always interesting.
I don't know. I guess because I'm quiet they figure I won't say anything. And I suppose they're right. But still, it's not a bad position to be in.
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Ghost
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Post by Ghost on Feb 29, 2004 19:55:41 GMT -5
Lol, I have had the same B. They would sit around and tell some secret, while I was still present ;D
I have trained myself in closing myself off for some private conversations I can overhear.
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Post by Jarous on Mar 4, 2004 15:22:00 GMT -5
Yes, B, that has happened to me before. People just talk about personal matters like you weren't present at all. But I can't say I enjoy it. In fact quite the reverse. Such situations are among the most emarrassing in all of my life. Furthermore, you know of things you are not suppossed to know about and that may make you react in 'unnatural' ways sometime in the future - making you suspect of slander or so. Not something which I can prove my innocence of with the eye contact issue and all...
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Post by Alecto on Mar 4, 2004 15:26:54 GMT -5
I have the same thing happen as B. People just seem to trust me for some strange reason
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Ghost
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Post by Ghost on Mar 4, 2004 15:29:39 GMT -5
I feel like a peeping Tom if I overhear conversations. That's why I close myself off from their conversation. And most of the times I feel like I am not supposed to know that or hear that. Maybe you could try that out Jarous Just try to concentrate at something else, focus at what you are doing or seeing, something like that. Perhaps it comes easy with me, because I am fast drawn in whatver I am doing. I keep secrets very well, so perhaps that may be another thing why people talk anyway around me about private matters *shrugs*.
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Post by Alecto on Mar 4, 2004 15:42:01 GMT -5
I don't feel like I'm intruding if I'm listening in on the conversation. If they're going to have it around me where I can hear it, well, I'm gonna listen.
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Post by Jarous on Mar 5, 2004 1:17:26 GMT -5
Maybe you could try that out Jarous Just try to concentrate at something else, focus at what you are doing or seeing, something like that. Perhaps it comes easy with me, because I am fast drawn in whatver I am doing. I think I can concentrate pretty well if not ... ehm ... temted too much. Like reading with someone else watching TV in the background is absolutely OK. But I was reading at school the other day and a couple of girls were discussing their gynecological experiences. I tried just to read. But after two pages I realised I didn't know what they were about. Leaving the room for out of question - either due to my curiosity or embarrassement, I don't know. The girls went on, never minding my presence, they even tried to get me to participate. That was close to my idea of hell ... I can say I am probably overly curious. But I do keep secrets without problems.
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