Post by guest on Jul 4, 2004 19:57:49 GMT -5
Thankyou people for allowing me the opportunity to gain some insight, it seems I'm always searching and never really reaching a solution.
I would really like to get understand a "mans pysche" if thats ok.
I'm running out of areas to turn, I am so confused and frustrated. "do it, dont." yes, I will, no I wont"
I believe for me, in a world like ours, that I need a faith and that faith for me is God. So I regularly go with my family to mass. But before I go on. I was abused as a child by my alcoholic father for 14 years. I dont soley blame him, but he had a hand in who I am today.
Poeple will quickly say " he's not here anymore, you're grown up now, get over it, I am so sensitive, so this is not easy to do.
Back to before, when I am near the priest, I can't think straight, barely breathe, or over breathe, racy heart, jelly legs you know the feeling.
I just don't think I'm smart, wordly, good enough to speak to him. My therapist asked me if I am attracted to him, I said no. I just want to become his friend, ask him things I want to know, but there is some massive wall in the way.
Has he sensed my anxiety? or does he have his own anxiety?
I have seen the way I make him uncomfortable, he looks at me and quickly looks away. I see the uneasiness on his face.
I am by no means a bragger, I don't have the self esteem for it, but I am good looking so everyone says, just wish I could feel it. He is a priest, but he is also a man, and no one is perfect.
What I am trying to do is to see if this is all 'just me'
I'm fed up with this feeling of being responsible.
The anxiety he has, is it his own?
Do you think I am repelling him with my anxiety?
We used to exchange hello s, with ever so light chat, but now, out of nowhere, we avoid so much, that we go the long way around each other.
I dont want to pursue this man, I love my husband too much for that.
Its just that I am tired of the anxiety at church, its exhausting. I am wanting to quit, and avoid, but I've done that alot over 22 years, and this man fear just pops up where and when you least expect it to.
Do you think I should write him a letter?
Tell him he scares me in a non threatening way and so as not to acuse, just to give him and me understanding, but if he should not respond, what would that mean?
He does have a problem with me?
One big mess of frustration, I just want someone to tell me, what to do, too unsure to wing it on my own.
This is a tough one, I've no answer to.
This is my first post.
yasmona
I would really like to get understand a "mans pysche" if thats ok.
I'm running out of areas to turn, I am so confused and frustrated. "do it, dont." yes, I will, no I wont"
I believe for me, in a world like ours, that I need a faith and that faith for me is God. So I regularly go with my family to mass. But before I go on. I was abused as a child by my alcoholic father for 14 years. I dont soley blame him, but he had a hand in who I am today.
Poeple will quickly say " he's not here anymore, you're grown up now, get over it, I am so sensitive, so this is not easy to do.
Back to before, when I am near the priest, I can't think straight, barely breathe, or over breathe, racy heart, jelly legs you know the feeling.
I just don't think I'm smart, wordly, good enough to speak to him. My therapist asked me if I am attracted to him, I said no. I just want to become his friend, ask him things I want to know, but there is some massive wall in the way.
Has he sensed my anxiety? or does he have his own anxiety?
I have seen the way I make him uncomfortable, he looks at me and quickly looks away. I see the uneasiness on his face.
I am by no means a bragger, I don't have the self esteem for it, but I am good looking so everyone says, just wish I could feel it. He is a priest, but he is also a man, and no one is perfect.
What I am trying to do is to see if this is all 'just me'
I'm fed up with this feeling of being responsible.
The anxiety he has, is it his own?
Do you think I am repelling him with my anxiety?
We used to exchange hello s, with ever so light chat, but now, out of nowhere, we avoid so much, that we go the long way around each other.
I dont want to pursue this man, I love my husband too much for that.
Its just that I am tired of the anxiety at church, its exhausting. I am wanting to quit, and avoid, but I've done that alot over 22 years, and this man fear just pops up where and when you least expect it to.
Do you think I should write him a letter?
Tell him he scares me in a non threatening way and so as not to acuse, just to give him and me understanding, but if he should not respond, what would that mean?
He does have a problem with me?
One big mess of frustration, I just want someone to tell me, what to do, too unsure to wing it on my own.
This is a tough one, I've no answer to.
This is my first post.
yasmona