shyness group

[mesmerise]

HI
have just joined this group today, and am a little worried because for the past 3 weeks me and my friend have joined a shyness group and today my friend came across some rather worryiing reviews of the group from ex members and now we are thinking we could have been taken for a ride has anyone heard of walter friedman??

[CaryGrant]

No - who is he and what does he do? I was thinking of starting a shyness support group in my area (if anyone would come ;D), so am curious about other, similar attempts.

[mesmerise]

well it was stuff like giving a brief introduction about yourself in front of the other members of the group, which became more detailed each week, and on the third week we had to do it up at the front of the room, but his manner was very unprofessional and he was far too rude and short tempered to be a genuine person,
see here: azure.bbboy.net/sauk-viewthread?forum=8&thread=13
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[mesmerise]

by the way cary are you in the states?

[CaryGrant]

Hi M,

I'm in Victoria, Canada.

The support group I am trying to start is to be peer-run, meaning the members run it. I will provide guidance and help, but only because I may be less shy than others and it generally helps if someone takes some leadership. I'm not a doctor and have no plans to charge money, as I provide no expertise.

I checked out Dr. F on the link you provided, and he sounds like a worthless doc. However, only you know how it works for you. One poster said that he got something out of it for eight meetings, then quit, so that's better than nothing.

[mesmerise]

Hi Cary
i think you should certainly go ahead with your group, it sounds like a good thing, as for mr fraudster, i should have smelt a rat right from the start, as he was very pushy, and did not give me a choice, it was like i HAD to join his group, and he got quite annoyed with myself and several of the other members, which considering the reason for us being at the group did not seem to make any sense, surely a counsellor for shy people should be kind and patient, right now i have an invoice for the 4th session which i did not attend, i fail to see how a genuine person could possibly justify being paid for a non show??!

[CaryGrant]

Sounds like this guy is trying to take advantage of people's insecurity. Shy people make for easy marks - we're usually too lacking in confidence to say no! Easier to pay the bill and run away than dispute it...done it all my life. No more, though.

As an aside, I plan to use my new learning about shyness to practice my friendship and dating skills. When I go to social events (rarely, but still), I will look around for those people who are at the fringes, not saying much, looking uncomfortable - in short, are probably shy. Then I will approach them and strike up a conversation. This seems an easier first step than plunging into an ongoing conversation run by an extrovert.

[Boblouie58]

We that are shy tend to dwell on our insecurities.
It does take much effort on our part to be more outgoing. We need to be around people where we can interact with them if we feel the nerve to do this. There is nothing wrong with being shy..there are degrees of shyness. Very shy, partially shy, sort-of shy, etc.
I'm even told by people who I believe are very self confident that they have shy feelings, so this tells me that we are all in the same boat. The real shy ones are at one end and the less shy ones at the other end.
We are all on this group to help where we can even whether we are still very shy or some shy.
I have my moments but as I get more comfortable in social situations and the more people I get to know its a better feeling for me.