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Post by AnonYGirL on Jan 25, 2005 3:04:46 GMT -5
Being older, I have asked this question. I never asked it before but now I wonder: How do you figure out whether you are shy, quiet, introverted, just someone who doesn't say much, someone with bad luck, or antisocial, or just boring, or just too respectable of other people or someone afraid of failure? Is there some sort of checklist out there to help you figure this out? Because right now I am just considering myself a combination and I wish I could just define myself as one thing, at the most 2. Like a major/minor
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Post by meow on Jan 25, 2005 3:45:39 GMT -5
How do you figure out whether you are shy, quiet, introverted, just someone who doesn't say much, someone with bad luck, or antisocial, or just boring, or just too respectable of other people or someone afraid of failure? Is there some sort of checklist out there to help you figure this out? Because right now I am just considering myself a combination and I wish I could just define myself as one thing, at the most 2. Like a major/minor i could be wrong (i often am), but i think the label 'shy' is usually put on people by other people. usually when you are considered to be 'too quiet' by others' standards. when you actively avoid human contact, you can end up with the label 'socially anxious' or 'avoidant personality' or something like that. low self-esteem can and often does accompany these other conditions, but not necessarily. to use myself for an example, i have had some self-esteem issues in my life, especially when i was younger. but at this point in my life i really don't have much trouble with that anymore. it's primarily something i only have a problem with in one very specific type of situation now. but overall, at this point in my life i think my self-esteem is pretty good. i do consider myself shy because i sometimes don't do things i want to do because my tendency to withdraw is simply too strong a habit to resist. but i don't think i would meet diagnostic criteria for any of the shyness related psychological disorders at this point in time (although i think a trauma could throw me right in there since i do have the tendencies involved). i think you should just go with whatever feels like it fits, or you could just skip the label altogether if you want. in case you're interested, here's a link to a page that describes the diagnostic criteria for social phobia. at the bottom of the page you'll see a list of differential diagnoses (other little pigeonholes the professionals can put you into if you don't fit this one), and there are links to related conditions in the reading too. ps - that part at the top of the page is an ad for a book, the good stuff is below that. www.psychologynet.org/socphob.html
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Post by Twice-Shy on Jan 25, 2005 18:31:46 GMT -5
That's a good question. As Meow says, some of the names we get called are 'true' psychiatric' terms such as social anxiety or social phobia. Other terms are social labels like shy or quiet. I actually prefer quiet. Personally, I hate terms like loner. The next issue of the SHY United Newsletter (31st Jan) reviews a new ebook that opens with an excellent chapter that explains the difference. The rest of the ebook is run of the mill stuff but that first chapter if good. Look out for the review in the next issue.
shane
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Post by lsdima4 on Jan 30, 2005 12:31:15 GMT -5
You don't need to figure it out. You are you. You can label yourself as anything. In fact I encourage labeling yourself as fun outgoing extroverted lucky social person. There is no difference. When you overcome your fears you actually will be. There is probably certain things that you want to do but feel uncomfortable doing and you can work on that.
One thing that irritates me a little is "shy/nice out of respect for other people" though. I think this is a misconception. It comes from fear of other people, not respect which is very different.
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Post by Medici on Jan 30, 2005 14:38:28 GMT -5
Sometimes I get to thinking that psychologists do more harm than good. When people have the option to go looking through some catalogue to find some name for a "condition" that describes their problems....what does it do? In many cases I think it just gives that person an excuse to continue being the way they are, because now they have an identified medical condition. Now its someone else's responsibility to help them, because every innocent victim deserves medical care for their condition.
But that's preposterous, right? People say they can't change, they just can't do it. And who are we to argue? We can't climb into their brains and try our hardest and see what happens. Its completely possible that some people don't have the capability to change. The problem is, nobody else has any way of knowing if they don't have the ability, or if they are just making excuses.
We really are alone in our own minds.
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Derrick
Full Member
Lost Soul
Posts: 241
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Post by Derrick on Feb 1, 2005 19:40:43 GMT -5
This test can help you determine your level of introvertedness... (among other things) www.personal.psu.edu/faculty/j/5/j5j/IPIP/ipipneo120.htmThis will test you for social anxiety... please note that on my machine the printer dialog was prompted.. www.paxil.com/test/st_sai_print.htmlThere are other tests out there to take.. for me it was simply years of self analysis that determined what I am, which is actually about the most introverted person I know. with shyness being less of a problem.
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Post by Jarous on Feb 4, 2005 3:00:38 GMT -5
Hey, stop this - all this damned labels are nothing more than a self-fulfilling prophecy. You read a stupid paper, say "great, I have this and this phobia" and mentally lock yourself into that pattern - that's wrong! You are who you make yourself to be ... sure there are things about us we may never change - but there's a lot we can - and if you persuade yourself that this is something you are, unchangeable, beyond your control, then you forfeit all your hope of improving.
Tread carefully, my friend - in more ways than you might like, you are your own product - do not hide that fact behind a label - it's just that, an excuse for accepting the responsibility...
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