to shy to read your reply

[kipper]

Have you ever found yourself getting anxious when you see somebody's responded to your post in a forum?

I just cought myself doing that and had to laugh. I saw there had been some reply's to a thread I started, so I opened that page. It must have taken me at least 5 minutes to build up the currage to actually scroll down to read them...

[Michael1973]

You know why I think that happens? Because we're so afraid that people won't give us the response we want. Even though this is primarily a support group, sometimes we will post things and other people will react in the exact opposite way of what we were hoping to hear. For people like us, that can be tough to deal with. Believe me, I know.

[Tal]

Yep, I've experienced that many times, though considering I've been posting on forums for a few years now, I've become more confident in what I write and I tend to worry less about what other's respond with.

Still I do have moments when I avoid reading threads I had posted to etc

[wagnerr]

I've had a few negative responses from messages i posted. But i think for the most part they did not understand what i was trying to say.

This is what i really hate: when people don't understand me or my feelings, or simply choose to ignore them.

Well, i'm definitely insecure enough to rely on people's opinions, so yes, i do get anxiety when i read responses.

[strawberrysweetie]

kipper said:

Have you ever found yourself getting anxious when you see somebody's responded to your post in a forum?

I just cought myself doing that and had to laugh. I saw there had been some reply's to a thread I started, so I opened that page. It must have taken me at least 5 minutes to build up the currage to actually scroll down to read them...

Oh, gosh....I totally know what you mean! And I always feel totally foolish, because it's like (talking to myself...) C'mon, it's anonymous...they don't even know the real you!...How can they hurt you?

I guess it's the feeling of rejection if you get a negative response. I also hate when people completely misunderstand what you say and then put words into your mouth and accuse you of ridiculous things.

I once put in my opinion about abortion (I'm Pro-Life), but everyone at that particular board was pretty much Pro-Choice and everyone completely bashed me and were all saying how stupid I sounded. They were all totally immature, and any negative response I got, I felt I had to reply to each one and defend myself. It sucked. After that whole ordeal ended, I was like...Screw this! I've never gone back.

But I think the more you post, the more comfortable you'll become. In that case, that should teach us all a lesson....the more you say, the more comfortable you'll become.

Anyway, I can complete understand what you mean.

[GreenFerret]

Ha! That's exactly what I go through every time I post. One of my problems is that I tend write a lot, and then realize that no-one wants to spend 20 minutes reading about the intricate details of my problems, lol. Actually Strawberry Sweetie, I wrote out a huge "roommate horror story" to post to you college thread, and went on about that, and then the advice part... Luckily I realized what a gargantuan thingit was before I posted.

Well... rereading that, I've decided the real issue is that I sound really stupid/annoying when I post, or I feel like I do, and like other people think I do too. It's so hard to just POST, isn't it? Sometimes I think it'd be nice not to feel like a slave to those other-people-opinions, but it's tough not to feel that way.

Plus does anyone else worry excessively about the ratio of experience to advice that should be in each post, and about whether the person wanted advice, or just to vent (when it isn't clear), or if they want to hear stories? Ugh. And I feel like I can never start my own posts, because I'm afraid I'll talk about myself too much and bore people or sound overdramatic, but then I go ahead and like a little parasite latch onto other people's posts that I can identify with... It's really illogical. But it's when the idea is illogical that it's most difficult to be rid of, seems like. Blech! It's nice to know I'm not alone with some of this, heh.

[Michael1973]

I do that too, GreenFerret. Sometimes when I begin posting about a problem I'm having, I will go on and on with the story, often feeling like I need to include all the excess detail for people to fully understand the situation. Then I think it sounds foolish and worry about boring people. No matter what, we always seem to give ourselves something to worry about.

[lsdima4]

Well, if you always post interesting replies that don't offend anyone (like I do) then you wouldn't have to worry.

[Medici]

I say just go ahead and post whatever you have. So what if the person doesn't want advice necessarily - they can just ignore your post. The whole point of having this place is for people to write things in it.

[strawberrysweetie]

GreenFerret said:

Actually Strawberry Sweetie, I wrote out a huge "roommate horror story" to post to you college thread, and went on about that, and then the advice part... Luckily I realized what a gargantuan thingit was before I posted.

That's too bad! I really did want to hear some stories....the more detailed, the better. Don't worry, though, I know what you mean. I often feel like I write way too much.

GreenFerret said:

Well... rereading that, I've decided the real issue is that I sound really stupid/annoying when I post, or I feel like I do, and like other people think I do too.

Yeah, I feel like that too when I post. I just don't like the thought of coming off as whiny when I post for help or whatever.

[gSteve]

I have the same problem, though most of the time im too shy to post a reply.

[kenji]

oh boy yes I know what you mean.

I have the same problems with reading emails from a friend too.
I sometimes cover the screen with my hand just before the page opens and then I can slowly move my arm down and get some idea whether its nice or not.
Weird

[gLoo]

hmm.. that happens to me sometimes but i cant wait to see what ppl put. I want their opinion, another persons point of view.

[Max Power]

kipper said:

Have you ever found yourself getting anxious when you see somebody's responded to your post in a forum?

I just cought myself doing that and had to laugh. I saw there had been some reply's to a thread I started, so I opened that page. It must have taken me at least 5 minutes to build up the currage to actually scroll down to read them...

lol, I thought it was just me. I do this a lot. What I do is slowly crawl, line by line to see what they wrote. I think I know why I do this, for fear of someone telline me that I'm a jerk for what I just wrote. But that's pretty funny.

[Spartan]

I've got nothing but good tips and encouragement from reading responses to my posts and it's helped me quite a bit. I usually can't wait to read them.