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parents
Mar 21, 2005 13:15:48 GMT -5
Post by Spartan on Mar 21, 2005 13:15:48 GMT -5
Do you think I should tell my parents about a girl I like at school? I haven't asked her out yet but I want to. My parents think I'm not even interested in girls but that's just what I tell them. I don't think they can take it seriously because they would always tease me about having a girlfriend when I was little and usually I didn't even like the girl they teased me about. I know I have to tell them sometime if I want to go out with her. My parents are a bit over-protective and I think that's one of the reasons why I don't get out much. I'm almost 16 so I guess I only have 2 more years until college and I don't have to worry about it too much. but I feel like I might be more confident in asking a girl out if I knew whether I am actually allowed to date her. I would feel like an idiot if I asked her out and she said yes but I wasn't allowed to go out with her. What should I do
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parents
Mar 21, 2005 14:57:11 GMT -5
Post by Tal on Mar 21, 2005 14:57:11 GMT -5
I'd suggest you ask your parents. I doubt they would stop you and if they do then it may just be something you have to put up with. You won't gain anything by going out against your parent's wishes.
If there had been girls worth going out with when I was 16, I'd probably have been in virtually the same situation as you now. (I'll be 21 and living back at home in a few months and I don't think I'll be in too different a situation from the above even after 5 years... lol ...such is life.)
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parents
Mar 25, 2005 12:27:52 GMT -5
Post by Kitten on Mar 25, 2005 12:27:52 GMT -5
I think you should tell your parents too. I don't know how strict they are about dating, but since you're a guy I assume they'd probably be happy that you're interested in girls and wanting to date--it's different for girls trying to date, believe me. Unfortunately since you're so young if they let you go out with this girl (providing you get up the courage to ask her and she says yes ) all you'll probably get out of it is a movie date with a 10:00 curfew or something, and they may even loosen up if they see you're responsible. I don't know your parents so it's hard to say, but I do think they'd be happy for you and give you a little freedom in that regard. Well, good luck!
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franco
Junior Member
Posts: 79
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parents
Mar 25, 2005 13:45:13 GMT -5
Post by franco on Mar 25, 2005 13:45:13 GMT -5
Hi Codeboy, is telling them an issue of shyness as well? If it is and you feel you can tell them then I think you should. Even if nothing comes of it you will still find it easier to tell them the next time. It's really interesting you mention your parents teasing you. I'm currently seeing a therapist and I'm nearly 27. When we go back to my "childhood data" looking for the reasons that I feel so awkward and messed up with women a lot of it seems to come down to my parents teasing me about girls as a kid. My family never talked about girls or relationships and I don't think I could even have brought myself to tell them I was interested in girls at your age. In fact I would find it embarrassing now. Yeah, if you feel you can tell them then do tell them. It's totally natural for you to be interested in girls so they better get used to it
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Mar 25, 2005 20:28:59 GMT -5
Post by Spartan on Mar 25, 2005 20:28:59 GMT -5
I'm not really too shy to tell them I just don't think it is a good idea. I feel like this is something I need to try to handle myself and involving them might make things worse. I'm not coming down on them or anything but I just don't know if they'll understand.
Yeah, that sounds very familiar. Ever sense my parents teased me I've never talked to them about girls and relationships.
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parents
Mar 25, 2005 23:10:07 GMT -5
Post by shypsychologyguy on Mar 25, 2005 23:10:07 GMT -5
Do you think I should tell my parents about a girl I like at school? I haven't asked her out yet but I want to. My parents think I'm not even interested in girls but that's just what I tell them. I don't think they can take it seriously because they would always tease me about having a girlfriend when I was little and usually I didn't even like the girl they teased me about. I know I have to tell them sometime if I want to go out with her. My parents are a bit over-protective and I think that's one of the reasons why I don't get out much. I'm almost 16 so I guess I only have 2 more years until college and I don't have to worry about it too much. but I feel like I might be more confident in asking a girl out if I knew whether I am actually allowed to date her. I would feel like an idiot if I asked her out and she said yes but I wasn't allowed to go out with her. That is exactly how I acted at 16 . Its creepy cause its like Me from the past wrote that to me now. My problem is the same but not because Im afraid my parents would disaprove , I just would not like them to see me disapointed if it didnt work out.
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parents
Mar 26, 2005 17:13:14 GMT -5
Post by Spartan on Mar 26, 2005 17:13:14 GMT -5
I might just end up waiting until college to start dating. After reading some of posts on this site I don't feel bad about not having a girlfriend yet. It would be nice to go out with her but I'm just glad I talked to her. I guess I shouldn't rush things.
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parents
Mar 26, 2005 18:44:17 GMT -5
Post by Medici on Mar 26, 2005 18:44:17 GMT -5
My parents were the same way. They would get all excited every time any girl would call me or even talk to me and then they'd never let me forget it. Oooooh a GIRL called for you today!!! LA DE DA! I can still remember it. And then my brothers got in on the act. Since I am the oldest, the whole family had fun at my expense as I went through puberty.
But its all good natured fun anyway. It caused me to withdraw because I took it too hard which is really sad. If you start taking things hard you run into all kinds of problems down the road in life. Its good to be able to really laugh at yourself - but then in high school that can be hard - all the kids are so angry and serious.
If I was in your shoes right now, I would not factor my parents into the decision at all. You've got to think about yourself and what you really want. If the fear wasn't there, what would you do?
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parents
Mar 27, 2005 19:13:31 GMT -5
Post by Spartan on Mar 27, 2005 19:13:31 GMT -5
But its all good natured fun anyway. It caused me to withdraw because I took it too hard which is really sad. If you start taking things hard you run into all kinds of problems down the road in life. Its good to be able to really laugh at yourself - but then in high school that can be hard - all the kids are so angry and serious. Yeah, now that I look back on it I feel like maybe I took it too hard. It doesn't even make sense to tease a child for wanting to growing up or maturing. If they teased me about having a girlfriend now I wouldn't even care. It doesn't matter much now though, considering I don't have a girlfriend or any good friends that a girls for that matter. I guess they don't realize that little things they say or do has that much of an effect on you when you get older.
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franco
Junior Member
Posts: 79
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parents
Mar 27, 2005 19:46:27 GMT -5
Post by franco on Mar 27, 2005 19:46:27 GMT -5
My parents were the same way. They would get all excited every time any girl would call me or even talk to me and then they'd never let me forget it. Oooooh a GIRL called for you today!!! LA DE DA! I can still remember it. And then my brothers got in on the act. Since I am the oldest, the whole family had fun at my expense as I went through puberty. But its all good natured fun anyway. It caused me to withdraw because I took it too hard which is really sad. If you start taking things hard you run into all kinds of problems down the road in life. Its good to be able to really laugh at yourself - but then in high school that can be hard - all the kids are so angry and serious. If I was in your shoes right now, I would not factor my parents into the decision at all. You've got to think about yourself and what you really want. If the fear wasn't there, what would you do? You took it hard because you were sensitive in the first place the same as me. That kind of teasing would be fun or would bounce off someone else, but not us. My parents teased me to the point where I cried to stop them. F***in idiots. They could tease me like that, but were too stuck up to ever discuss the issues. Of course that's probably just the way they were brought up, but that doesn't make it any better for me.
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Mar 30, 2005 20:28:29 GMT -5
Post by Spartan on Mar 30, 2005 20:28:29 GMT -5
My parents actually deserve a little more credit than I give them. They may have been a bit over-protective but at least it has kept me from doing drugs and stuff like that. They encouraged me to participate in sports and extra-curricular activities and keep my grades up which I didn't think was as important as I do now. The teasing and not talking about girl relationships is probably the worst thing they did to me but I think I can overcome it.
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