social anxiety disorder in college

[confused]

Hi. I'm new to this thing and I have a lot of problems. I'm in my 3rd year in college and I have a serious social anxiety disorder. I live in a dorm with other students and I'm always too scared to socialize with them. I always try to avoid them whenever I can so I don't have to talk to them. It's really affecting my life and I can't live normal like everyone else. I always lock myself in my room and go out only to get food and go to class. I always make excuses not to go to parties even though I really want to go. In public, I always feel like everyone is watching and judging me. I've tried to overcome my fear but I'm already 21 and I think it's just getting worse. Sometimes, drinking helps cuz that's the only time when I can act normal. I'm usually quiet and reserved but when I'm drunk, I'm loud and very social. I know this is not the solution but I'm too scared and shy to get the help that I really need. I'm just really depressed and confused.

[wagnerr]

I understand; i'm in grad school myself and it's getting hard.

Socializing is stuff for anyone with SA, but in school it's problem magnified, because big colleges are by definition centers of group learning. I'm not much of a socializer, but i can tell you this much, at least what's worked for me.

Try to get into a small club or organization which will help distract you with some kind of busy work. Make sure it's small, or otherwise you'll not want to join it. But make sure it's something you're interested in too.

In the small club, you'll meet other people, and because you're a key part of their organization, they'll think twice before doing anything offensive. And you'll also want to be included in their meetings and gatherings and such. You'll become a friend to them, not an ousider.

And don't worry so much about the confusion. College is a very confusing place, man. Oh, and talk to some of the counselors there at school. They are experts in helping out young people like us, and your professors would be glad to help too, given the time.

Above all, try to relax. Nobody is really criticising you, that's all in your mind, probably. Remember, you're not the only one with this phobia. I do too. And so many thousands of college students around the world.

[shypsychologyguy]

I understand also. college is a lonely place . I thought about living on campus but i still live with parents cause at orientation when I had to stay in the dorms I locked myself in my room for hours with nothing to do but look at the catalog. the only time I really enjoyed the social aspect of school was during a group project I had that took lots of out of class meeting time to do. My karate class im starting tonight has 10 students and Im scared that i will get there and they will all be friends already and ill be the outsider. or what if im the only guy , well that is not necessarily a bad thing just awkward. anyways hang in there I know it sucks. it beats always being the loner in high school though and getting picked on and bullied

[carly]

i relate to what you're saying. i lived in the dorms and really did not make many friends. however, it made me a very independant person. looking back on it i wish i was more social. sometimes we are so wrapped up in our own shyness and being self-consciousness that we don't see others like us or others reaching out. it is an extremely hard thing to break out of. the one thing i try to think of is that these people have problems too, they have a life too full of other worries and such besides what we are doing.