i am 23. i am just about done with college. since i have been in school i have not had any friends. i cant talk in big groups. in interviews i get prety shy and forget what i am going to say and cant always look at them. i have had a couple interviews. and have bot got 1 of them. it is getting frusterating. in college i had a interview class. and i got a A in the class. i guess i am not that nervouse or shy then. i dont know why. i will soon be getting interviews. so i need help. when i was in school i could not answer the teachers questons. so after a while she always skipped me.
Post by NewOrleansLady on Apr 20, 2003 1:40:40 GMT -5
I used to have a HUGE eye contact problem, even with my friends. I've gotten a little better about it but, I still notice myself looking everywhere but at the person talking to me. With me it's a confidence issue. I feel like what I have to say isn't important enough for the other person or that I'm just not as entertaining. I also think way too much about what i am going to say that I usually never say it or it dosen't come out the way I want it to. When somebody is talking to me and a question pops into my head I usually think that it's none of my buisness and don't ask it, which is ridiculous because they are talking to me about it. I think that once you realize where your shyness stems from than you can try to overcome it. I have gotten much better from just discussing things on this site and realizing that I am not alone. If you think that you might need professional help than take advantage of still being a student and talk with a school counselor. I wish that I could talk with somebody professionally about it but am afraid of how much it will cost.
"There are two things I hate, people who are intolerant of other peoples cultures and the dutch!" Nigel Powers
New Orleans has given some great advice there. A tip I used to use for interviews etc was to spend maybe 15 minutes outside psyching myself up before i went in. Getting my mind focussed and raising self esteem. I also try to bump up my aggression levels.
Positive website for people who are shy and/or are interested in self-help.
Post by urbanspaceman on Apr 20, 2003 10:34:02 GMT -5
I've found before that psyching myself up before an interview can help, getting yourself in the right mind set to tackle what's coming. In an interview though, the smallest thing can throw you off course, for me it's maintaining eye contact and remembering things I want to say. If someone throws a question at me that I have prepared for, I can still freeze up and my mind go blank. Also, I struggle to control my hands sometimes in an interview situation, and gesture a lot which isn't necessarily a good thing! All I can say is that you're definitely not on your own regarding problems with interviews, but to coin an old phrase, "practice makes perfect". Preparing and praticising before an interview, talk, whatever, can't do any harm at all, I know it's really helped me in the past.