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Post by shyiscool on Mar 19, 2006 0:59:54 GMT -5
Is shyness a disease, that it needs to be cured?
Oh, of course, extreme introverts have some social difficulties related to romance and work and social life, but the thread is not about those difficulties.
This thread is about why anyone anywhere would think that extreme shyness or extreme introversion are on their own either disorders or illnesses that need to be cured.
Or, put another way, when do extreme shyness or extreme introversion cross over from being personality traits to being disorders?
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Post by shyiscool on Mar 19, 2006 3:42:03 GMT -5
i think extreme shyness and introversion become 'disorders' when we feel rejected by the society we live in. Who is "we" in your example? Are you saying that each individual should decide whether he or she has a disorder?
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Post by shyiscool on Mar 19, 2006 3:43:05 GMT -5
i think extreme shyness and introversion become 'disorders' when we feel rejected by the society we live in. Most individuals feel at odds against society at one time or another in their lives, but those feelings then subside after a spell. Does that mean people have temporary disorders while they are feeling at odds with society and that they are healed once those feeling subside?
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Post by hopeful on Mar 19, 2006 5:48:33 GMT -5
Or, put another way, when do extreme shyness or extreme introversion cross over from being personality traits to being disorders? In my opinion, when it starts to adversely affect or ruin your life it's more serious and needs something doing about it. I can hardly talk to anyone anymore and I am terrified doing anything/going anywhere by myself etc. I cannot live like this, and so these aspects need to be "cured". But my general shyness itself will probably never go away and I'm happy with that. I won't ever be a social butterfly or a people person, but that's fine by me. I think different people's opinions of shyness is going to be different in each case. It just depends on what someone is happy with. One person might be entirely happy avoiding people and keeping to themselves and they don't want to change, but another person might feel trapped and isolated and want to do anything to be able to be more extroverted.
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Post by zerocharisma! on Mar 19, 2006 20:05:57 GMT -5
When do extreme shyness or extreme introversion cross over from being personality traits to being disorders? One of the diagnostic criteria for social phobia according to DSM-IV is: E. The avoidance, anxious anticipation, or distress in the feared social or performance situation(s) interferes significantly with the person's normal routine, occupational (academic) functioning, or social activities or relationships, or there is marked distress about having the phobia.I think that when it significantly affects a person's ability to function in life then it's a problem and needs to be treated.
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susyq
New Member
Posts: 7
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Post by susyq on Mar 20, 2006 18:25:31 GMT -5
I don't think it should be thought of as a disorder. I think that just makes you feel worse about being shy. It makes it seem impossible to overcome. You also have to consider that there are many degrees of shyness
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Post by shyiscool on Mar 22, 2006 12:46:50 GMT -5
OK, yes, there are degrees of shyness, just like there are degrees of how much salt you might put into a recipe. And yes, you could find yourself suffering greatly because you are more shy than other people who happen to be around you. The question is, "Are there people out there (or here) who suffer greatly for their shyness and introversion who nonetheless maintain their independence and who would never buy into the massthink that they are themselves 'broken' or 'disordered'?
What I'm most concerned about in my own life are the constant messages through media and reiterated by the common joe and jane that 'if you don't fit in, you're disordered'. I think that those messages are MOSTLY false.
Who says?
Says who?
Well, we're not the first to chat about the thing. There are certainly research papers and doctoral dissertations about the definition of 'disability', that's for sure.
I'm wondering if there are people here who, according to their own definition, have lives that are severely and negatively affected because of their own shyness, but who at the same time either believe or know that they themselves are not "broken, disabled, or otherwise disordered.".
Thanks.
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Post by shyiscool on Mar 22, 2006 12:55:01 GMT -5
Or, put another way:
Who do you allow to define your words for you?
Thanks.
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Post by sushiboat on Mar 22, 2006 13:01:29 GMT -5
Humans are social. There are many negative consequences to being socially isolated, including increased health risks. Look through this forum, and you'll see testament to a whole lot of suffering directly related to difficulty in connecting with other human beings.
I wouldn't wish shyness on anyone I like. If I ever have children, making sure that any tendency toward shyness is overcome would be a priority for me.
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Post by pnoopiepnats on Mar 22, 2006 13:11:34 GMT -5
As long as I can hold down a job and not have panic attacks, I'm good.
I'm introverted and reclusive so I don't much care about the rest.
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Post by shyiscool on Mar 22, 2006 13:16:56 GMT -5
Humans are social. There are many negative consequences to being socially isolated, including increased health risks. Look through this forum, and you'll see testament to a whole lot of suffering directly related to difficulty in connecting with other human beings. I wouldn't wish shyness on anyone I like. If I ever have children, making sure that any tendency toward shyness is overcome would be a priority for me. I think you are right that humans are social creatures. I think you are right that isolated people usually suffer decreased health as a result. I agree with you that shy, introverted and isolated people suffer disproportianately. Like you, I wouldn't wish shyness or introversion on anyone else, because I see some suffering tied into these character traits. BUT: The question remains, who has the right to tell you that you are broken and/or disordered because of your introversion and shyness? Who do you allow to have that authority over you? Why is it that at some point, people simply give in to the definitions concocted by others for words that describe themselves, instead of asserting their own definitions? As for me, I think that people aren't really tuned in to how their own attitudes, thoughts, feelings and lives could be controlled by outside forces whenever those outside forces try to define the words that surround their own. If I call you a whore or a bastard, you'd surely slap my face either because you aren't or because you are sure tha't I'm not qualified to sit in judgement over you. But you allow an academic to call you broken and disordered because you prefer to stay in, and you just accept those kinds of judgements as true at face value? Thanks for listening.
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Post by shyiscool on Mar 22, 2006 13:17:58 GMT -5
As long as I can hold down a job and not have panic attacks, I'm good. I'm introverted and reclusive so I don't much care about the rest. I hope you won't take me the wrong way, but if you didn't care about the rest, you wouldn't even be a memeber here. As for me, I'm glad you're a member here.
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Post by MrNice on Mar 22, 2006 13:27:51 GMT -5
yeah pnats, what are you doing here?
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Post by pnoopiepnats on Mar 22, 2006 13:30:27 GMT -5
I hope you won't take me the wrong way, but if you didn't care about the rest, you wouldn't even be a memeber here. As for me, I'm glad you're a member here. Why is that?
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Post by MrNice on Mar 22, 2006 13:43:51 GMT -5
because it sucks to be shy
example:
I am riding on the train and a pretty girl sits next to me I want to talk to her but I am afraid
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