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Post by PapaRoachGrl on Sept 22, 2004 23:08:52 GMT -5
Hello all. My name is Graciela (I'm imagining I'm like in a AA meeting or something...lol) and I am shy, but not in the textbook sense (at least I don't think I am). I was *extremely* sheltered throughout my childhood (meaning I didn't get to have friends basically) which is where I think this comes fromI have very few friends and with them, I am like the least shy person on the planet. When I talk to them, i'm confident, extremely talkative, and witty...ok, more like silly.  It's only when I'm around people I don't know or dont know very well I'm really shy. I usually try to avoid social interaction and I always feel self conscious when I go to parties/events. I'm a 20 year old college student, so I feel ridiculous sitting in my room by myself all the time while my roommates are off socializing. I really do try at times, but I give up because I feel so self conscious, I just want to run and hide. Even if I go with friends, I feel out of place. I now realize that I'm letting the so called "best years of my life" slip away, so I'm trying to get out there and do things while I still can...with no success. I try to shield myself 24/7...some people think that I'm a mean chick when they see me, but I put up a front in hopes no one will notice me and when people talk to me, I always assume that they wouldnt want to talk to boring ole me! The people that know me, however, consider me one of the most caring and amusing people that they've met. Though I've been told by many people that I'm pretty (not to be conceited, but I don't think I'm *that* bad looking) but have yet to have a boyfriend. I know it's not the most important thing in the world, but all of my friends are getting married next year and I'm the only one that hasn't even been on a DATE. Also the fact that their SO's come first to them, I just feel more alone.  Sorry to bore with my long post, but this has really been bothering me lately and it seems like it's never going to go away....Thanks for reading, though!!!  |
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Post by Kitten on Sept 23, 2004 9:32:20 GMT -5
Welcome, Graciela!
First of all, relax. You're only 20, which is really really young to get married nowadays, your friends are unusual in that regard (assuming they're your age) so don't compare yourself to them.
Do your friends go to college with you? How about their boyfriends' friends, are any of them single? I was very shy and didn't go out much in high school, but when I turned 18 and started college, I forced myself to go to parties and try to meet people. It was hard at first, but you have to let your guard down and just be open. You're lucky to be in college, it gives you a great chance to meet people.
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Post by lonelyheart on Sept 26, 2004 6:36:11 GMT -5
Wow, you sound almost exactly like me.. except that I am male. I don't have many female friends, so getting dates is difficult for me. I am too scared to talk to strangers (nothing to say).
Good luck.
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Post by Psychic on Sept 28, 2004 3:14:15 GMT -5
Wow, you sound almost exactly like me.. except that I am male. I don't have many female friends, so getting dates is difficult for me. I am too scared to talk to strangers (nothing to say). Good luck. Same here. Hopefully one day we can get out of this predicament. |
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peekaboo
Full Member
I can fly, I can fly!!
Posts: 149
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Post by peekaboo on Dec 6, 2004 20:45:57 GMT -5
You sound just like me..except I'm 22 and I have never been on a date myself...so I know exactly what you're going through. Keep your head up and don't let your shyness get the best of you.  |
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NickH
Full Member
Posts: 160
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Post by NickH on Dec 20, 2004 8:23:49 GMT -5
Same here. Hopefully one day we can get out of this predicament. Ditto, and i'd just like to echo Kitten's remarks by saying that 20 is a really young age to be getting married, i think its people that rush in to marrage too quickly that end up getting devorced. I wouldn't focus on this to much, in my experience its the norm to not be thinking about marrage at your age. Nick |
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Post by AnonYGiRL on Feb 2, 2005 20:59:17 GMT -5
I know; a lot people from my high school are with their boyfriends and are talking marriage and know they are going to be together for the rest of their lives. I've never been on a date neither. Well, I've kind of been asked on one, but I'm pretty sure that guy just thought I was hot and he had only met me once! I don't think so. . .
I am also in college, and I don't even have time for parties and such! I have too much work to do. But maybe it is all for the best because at parties I never have anything to say and then it is like: why the fuck are you here then?
It's funny. In college you are supposed to reinvent yourself, but we just can't because of circumstances. If college just consisted of socializing, then yeah, I could reinvent myself. But my thoughts are not like most peoples, so that is a problem.
Heck, without a boyfriend, you don't have to worry about the whole sex getting pregnant thing, so that's good!
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Post by lsdima4 on Feb 2, 2005 23:51:53 GMT -5
Wow, no offense meant, but you sound really stuck up.
But I am guessing you didn't like the guy.
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Post by AnonYGiRL on Feb 3, 2005 1:10:22 GMT -5
Eeek! You are giving into the stereotype of shy people! :oI just don't believe in meeting someone once, then suddenly wanting to go out with them. I think you should talk with the person a few times then decide with more of a footing. And we had no reason to hang out anyways. . . weird situation.
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Post by who on Feb 3, 2005 3:47:26 GMT -5
Eeek! You are giving into the stereotype of shy people! :oI just don't believe in meeting someone once, then suddenly wanting to go out with them. I think you should talk with the person a few times then decide with more of a footing. And we had no reason to hang out anyways. . . weird situation. geez...what's the guy supposed to do if he wants a chance to get to know you? isn't that the point of going out with someone - to get to know them? to talk to them? so does he just have to wander around the planet aimlessly hoping to keep running into that girl he likes enough times that she'll think it's happened enough to go out with him and talk to him and get to know him? it's a big world - that's a real hard way to go. the date IS the starting point! you don't have to KNOW someone to go out on a date with them. if it's a first date and you are concerned about getting trapped with someone who's a drag or obnoxious then meet somewhere and provide your own transportation. a date isn't marriage. no obligations on either side. it's just an opportunity to get to know someone better. |
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Post by lsdima4 on Feb 3, 2005 8:57:35 GMT -5
Come on, admit it, you didn't like the guy |
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Post by AnonYGiRL on Feb 4, 2005 3:27:57 GMT -5
geez...what's the guy supposed to do if he wants a chance to get to know you? isn't that the point of going out with someone - to get to know them? to talk to them? so does he just have to wander around the planet aimlessly hoping to keep running into that girl he likes enough times that she'll think it's happened enough to go out with him and talk to him and get to know him? it's a big world - that's a real hard way to go. the date IS the starting point! you don't have to KNOW someone to go out on a date with them. if it's a first date and you are concerned about getting trapped with someone who's a drag or obnoxious then meet somewhere and provide your own transportation. a date isn't marriage. no obligations on either side. it's just an opportunity to get to know someone better. I liked the guy as a person. . . just didn't feel it was right too much. . . I don't want to say so much about it just it didn't work and there were complications, etc. Okay, I didn't like him for a few of the traits exhibited after we met. . . and other stuff Yeah, I believe in dating (haha thought I should mention that), but I think you should hang as friends before going out on a date. Actually, what you said sounds like something the guy would say.  I think you should hang at the house and then say, hey wanna go out on a date Saturday or something of the other. Not this sudden wanting to go on a date! I guess I like the old-fashioned life.  |
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Post by Toltec on Feb 4, 2005 3:41:03 GMT -5
From what I've heard, guys don't like that.
You've undoubtedly heard of the treacherous and feared "Friend Zone". No guy wants to end up there.
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Post by who on Feb 4, 2005 3:57:03 GMT -5
Yeah, I believe in dating (haha thought I should mention that), but I think you should hang as friends before going out on a date. Actually, what you said sounds like something the guy would say. I think you should hang at the house and then say, hey wanna go out on a date Saturday or something of the other. Not this sudden wanting to go on a date! I guess I like the old-fashioned life. the old fashioned life? how old fashioned do you want to get? these things have changed so many times and across all cultures. if you want to go back a few hundred years, you might have ended up married to someone you never met. or had a stranger present his card and come calling at your house. if you want to get right down to it, dating could be viewed as old-fashioned nowadays cuz alot of people just go out on the town, get drunk and stupid and do it in the car with a stranger. so a date is hardly a wild, modern practice if you really think about it. but it's a moot point. lsdima4 was right...you just didn't dig the guy. |
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It's only when I'm around people I don't know or dont know very well I'm really shy.
I think you should hang at the house and then say, hey wanna go out on a date Saturday or something of the other. Not this sudden wanting to go on a date! I guess I like the old-fashioned life. 