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Post by anonomie on May 25, 2005 4:12:08 GMT -5
I have read about co-dependence and am wondering if it means that shy people are co-dependent? I am just feeling depressed because I realize that because of my shyness I present the "good listener" persona in my friendships/dating relationships and then people think they can use me and abuse me (usually in a passive/underhanded way). If I could develop MORE friendships I wouldn't make people think that I am totally dependent on them and that I am 'eating out of the palm of their hand.' Does any one else have this problem. I feel like my hands are tied b/c I have a hard time making friends and usually have only had 1 or 2 people in my life I truly consider friends. Has any one overcome this issue?  |
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Yeti
Full Member
Posts: 128
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Post by Yeti on May 25, 2005 4:43:38 GMT -5
I would believe that shy people might have a higher rate of co-dependence than assertive extrovert types but thats just my theory. I dont believe that just because your shy means you rely heavily on others, I know I do not. Being shy would certainly help along that reliance but Im sure like me, there are a lot of independent shy people.I too have only had a handful of actual friends in my life at any given time. Most people just fall into the acquaintance category. Nothing wrong with having a small group of friends as long as your happy. You might not want to put the emphasis on creating new friendships right away but instead try to strengthen the ones you have. Just try being honest with your friends and tell them when you feel like your being used, I know it might be hard since your shy but there are ways of casually joking about it so they dont get offended and feel like your accusing them of something. They might really just be ignorant of your feelings and dont know how they are coming across to you. Try the honest thing and see how they respond, if they are really friends they should explain themselves and not get angry with you.
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Post by pnoopiepnats on May 25, 2005 5:35:57 GMT -5
Having been a part of alcohol abuse and domestic violence groups off and on for a few years, I would say that shy people aren't any more or less likely to be codependent than anyone else. I think I may have been like that a bit when I was younger but have learned about appropraite boundaries. It has taken a lot to stop letting my family use and abuse me. Nice site with defintions etc about this www.allaboutcounseling.com/codependency.htm |
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